Masters Of The House

Between being a political junky and still having adrenaline from playing basketball, I'm still watching the election coverage at 11:30 p.m. As expected, the Democratic party has gained control of the House of Representatives. I'm not angry or surprised by the overall results although certain losses by candidates I favored disappoint me. Rather than offer my own thoughts, I bring you these words that Leonard Pitts, a very liberal, Pulitzer Prize winning columnist, published in his syndicated column this morning:

So, if you win power here, please don't assume it validates anything you've done.
If you win, it's because of Mark Foley and Terri Schiavo and Randy ''Duke'' Cunningham and Donald Rumsfeld and George W. Bush and Jack Abramoff and Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter and Dick Cheney and Hurricane Katrina and 2,800 dead soldiers and because, as my mom used to say, enough is enough and too much stinks.
More to the point, you don't win because of you. Heck, I don't even know who you are. Ever since Bill Clinton left town, you have been inept at defining yourself, communicating your ideals with all the clarity of, well, John Kerry trying to tell a joke.
I don't know what you believe, what you plan, where you want to take the country. I daresay that most people don't. A victory here just means that you were the only other game in town. And yet, it would give you a rare oppportunity.
I suspect I speak for many when I say I'm tired of wedge politics. I'm tired of stupid, I'm tired of greed, I'm tired of polarization, I'm tired of red and blue mattering more than red, white and blue.
I want to know what it's like to have a sense of national mission, what it's like to strive for instead of against. I want to be hopeful about the future again, want my country to be looked at with respect again. Most of all, I want to see statesmen again. Meaning men and women who can debate, do battle, compromise and disagree over issues of great importance, but not let party, partisanship or politics stand in the way of doing what is best for the country.
In these years of Republican bacchanal, we have seen the fissures between us widened, minorities among us demonized. All in the name of politics. Yet, we've seen very little of substance get done.
Now, if the prognostications are correct, here comes you, taking power in a nation desperate for change.
Which brings me to my plea. By all means, enjoy the champagne and confetti. But once the bottles are empty and the floor is swept and it's time to go to work I wish you would, for me, for all of us, remember to do one thing with this victory.
Earn it.

For The Consideration Of Those Who Haven't Voted Yet

Foot In Mouth, Head Up Butt

Disclaimer: I do not watch the Today Show nor did I even know until yesterday that Meredith Vieira has a blog. I only came to this topic while listening yesterday to the excellent Laura Ingraham's radio show, which you can hear locally on 1400 AM. After hearing Ingraham justifiably mock Vieira for what I am about to describe, I did some surfing on Al Gore's invention.

If you read what Today Show host Meredith Vieira wrote on her blog yesterday, you would think she was only somewhat moronic in her interview of actor Russell Crowe:

Russell Crowe was here for an interview and off-camera I said to him “Great to see you again, I interviewed you at The View,” to which he replied “I’ve never been on The View.” I proceeded to insist that indeed he had been on--I even had someone call The View to make sure I was right, and sure enough…I wasn’t.

That was just the half of it. The interview, which you can watch here, was basically the springboard for Crowe to promote his new movie, A Good Year. The interview takes a really weird twist around the 5:00 mark, when Vieira asks Crowe about his infamous phone throwing incident. She asks him if, facing the same situation again, would he throw the phone again, would he do anything differently. Crowe, to his credit, responded by making a joke and asking if she meant did he want to try for two out of three. Vieira, though, thought the question required an answer and asked it again. Crowe remained cool and turned the conversation back to his new film.

Vieira looked like she finally got a clue to how rude and ridiculous her question was when she asked it a third time and then asked if he would throw a phone at her right then and there if there was one available. Crowe is a great actor but I am indifferent about his off-screen life. At the same time, Vieira's questioning was absurd. Did she really expect Crowe to respond, "Yeah, I clocked the guy good and would do it again if I had the chance."?

Death Unbecoming

I have always been able to joke about death. Maybe it comes from a grandfather with a great sense of humor who was a pulpit rabbi for fifty years and therefore performed so many funerals and unveilings that he had plenty of funny stories. My work also involves doing a lot of research into dead people. Most of the time, my partners, employees and I have been able to laugh at other people's misery.

That being said, mydeathspace.com strikes even me as overly morbid. You can see the latest articles of people's demise. Since the site seems to be an offshoot of myspace.com, almost all the stories are of teenagers who died not from illness, which would obviously be tragic, but from automobile crashes, homicides, suicides and other violent deaths. You can even search recent deaths by geography by clicking on what appear to be 100 Grim Reapers on a map of the United States. What I must admit to finding funny are the ads on which you can also click, like the one for 100% Free Dating. I wonder if it lists the newly single and mourning significant others.

That Penn Party Was Da Bomb

Courtesy of The Appletonian, a blog by a University of Pennsylvania student, comes this picture from a recent Halloween party in Philadelphia. The woman on the right is Amy Gutmann, the president of the University of Pennsylvania. The young man on the left, dressed as a suicide bomber, is a Penn student. The Appletonian asks the obvious yet excellent question-would Gutmann have posed with the bomber and smiled so brightly if he instead came to the party as a Nazi or a member of the KKK? Sadly, in the Ivy League, you could now ask the same question about a student dressed as an IDF soldier. Imagine the outrage.

Hejka Of A Guy

This morning's Detroit Free Press editorial pages are full of letters from readers on the upcoming elections. There is the usual slew of letters advocating for particular candidates or positions on issues. The one letter that caught my attention was from Thaddeus J. Hejka of Canton. After writing that he supports Governor Granholm because she is more liberal on social issues and that there is really no difference between her and Dick DeVos on the economy, Hejka writes the following:

Michigan's population of 10 million is far too large, and it would be preferable that people leave the state to seek work elsewhere. We need to protect what is left of Michigan's natural beauty and promote outdoor recreation and tourism.

It looks like this isn't the first such letter that Hejka has written to a local newspaper on the topic. Just last week, the Detroit News published the following letter from Hejka:

Three hundred million people in the U.S. and 6.5 billion people in the world is no cause for celebration ("300 million Americans worth celebrating," Oct. 18). It also means more pollution, more greenhouse gases and more competition for limited resources such as fresh water and oil.

After doing a little bit of research on some Internet tubes, I discovered that Hejka commutes from Canton to Ann Arbor every day. He might very well be using a fuel-efficient vehicle but he could certainly avoid pollution by not commuting in the first place. He also seems to live in a colonial style house. I assume that he is living in something larger than a one bedroom hut because he has children, something that he claims our state and country do not need. If he does not have children, then he is just wasting land that could be left in its natural state as well as all the utility power to keep it habitable. Lastly, Hejka's concern seems to only extend to Michigan. He wants some of our state's residents to leave and instead let some other state deal with the problem. That sure doesn't sound like much concern about the planet or its people, just Hejka's own little world.

Hejka's concerns about how we live our lives doesn't just extend to the environment. He also worries about our right to practice religion. This past February, the Detroit News published the following letter from Hejka:

The violent response from Muslims in countries throughout the world to the Danish political cartoons depicting Muhammad is frightening and appalling to all those who treasure the freedom of expression. While I agree that these cartoons were highly offensive to most Muslims, this does not justify all the violent protests and the call for the deaths of those who published them. I understand the comfort that religion may bring to people, but I increasingly feel that world peace will never be a reality unless all religions are banned. Of course, neither will ever happen.

I certainly appreciate Hejka's condemnation of Islamofascism. On the other hand, someone should inform him that the same constitutional amendment that offers us freedom of expression also guarantees the right to practice one's religion.

Dad The Sheriff

By The Way, Two People Died

I'm a little behind in my Sports Illustrated reading, so pardon the tardiness of this post. In the issue before the current one, there is an item in the Scorecard section, which contains one-paragraph entries about various activities in the sports world that don't rate a whole article. For example, some of the items in the particular issue's Scorecard are mentions that Peyton Manning missed his first practice in nine years and that Mark Downs Jr., the jerk who paid an eight-year old to bean an autistic kid in a little league game (a story that SI covered more in depth when it happened), got a one to six year sentence. What really caught my attention was the first story:

"Issued By the FAA, an order that small, fixed-wing planes not fly through the East River corridor between the New York City boroughs of Manhattan and Queens, after Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle was killed when his single-engine plane crashed into a high-rise apartment on Oct. 11. Lidle, 34, and his flight instructor, Tyler Stanger, 26, were flying over the river and banking toward Manhattan when the aircraft struck the 30th floor of the building. (Stanger was also killed.)"

I'll be the first to say that, while tragic, this story became as big as it was only because it happened in post-9/11 New York. At the same time, it seems just a tad insensitive to have the story lead be about the FAA ruling and then secondarily about Lidle's death and then, to make matters worse, give Stanger's death only a paranthetical mention.

Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down

Mrs. Zwicker and I saw two movies this weekend, both of which met the expectations we had for them. On Saturday night, we saw The Departed, Martin Scorsese's latest film about mobsters and police officers from the mean streets (no pun intended) of South Boston. If any director knows how to make a movie about cops and criminals, especially criminals, it's Scorsese. With "The Departed," Scorsese does not disappoint.

The movie was promising, given not only its director but also its star-studded cast, including Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Alec Baldwin, Mark Wahlberg and Martin Sheen. Of course, other movies have had casts with major star power but fell far short of the mark. One glaring example is The Score, which was very average despite starring Marlon Brando, Robert DeNiro and Edward Norton, each arguably the best actor of his respective generation. Maybe it's because Scorsese was directing or just because they had a great script, but the cast delivered. While the big three leads deserve their accolades, special props to Baldwin and Wahlberg. The former is an arrogant jerk in real life and is equally convincing and entertaining in that role, even though it's pretty much the only one he ever plays these days.

Last night, we did a cinematic 180 and watched Click. Mrs. Zwicker and I didn't expect much and we again were not surprised or disappointed. We expected a stupid and silly Adam Sandler and that is what we somewhat got. Stupid and silly are not necessarily bad things in a movie and Sandler delivers those better than most.

For those unfamiliar, the movie is about a guy who gets a remote control that is indeed universal. He can control everything around him. The annoying thing about the movie was that Sandler decided to take a light movie and tried to make it deep around two-thirds of the way into it. The movie looked at the effects of Sandler's character abusing the remote control's power to skip past important life events.

Sandler has already shown in "Spanglish" and "Punch Drunk Love" that he can do the dramatic thing. If that's what he wanted to do here, he could have done it and created a movie that actually makes you think. You might laugh at the idea of an Adam Sandler movie making you contemplate serious issues but it would actually not be so novel. After all, movies like Defending Your Life and Groundhog Day are just two examples of movies that are the subject of theology and philosophy courses in universities and religious institutions, despite their starring Albert Brooks and Bill Murray respectively. If Sandler wanted to make that type of movie, he should have gone for it. I for one think that he has the chops to make that leap. Instead, he provided a movie that was neither silly and amusing enough nor serious and thought provoking enough. In the end, the only things we wanted to see on the DVD's extras were how Sandler got to look hilariously obese in one scene or how the famliy dog humped a large stuffed animal in many scenes. Of course, a dog humping a stuffed animal is always entertaining.

Next On Action News, I'm Wanted For Rape

An Abortion Question

With the elections less than two weeks away, the Detroit Free Press has been running a series of profiles on various candidates for statewide office. The profiles include a brief Q & A on major issues. Today's candidate is United States Senator Debbie Stabenow, who is running for reelection against Oakland County Sheriff Michael Bouchard, whose profile will run tomorrow.

On a whole, Stabenow's profile was fairly neutral and the Q & A addressed some of the points that are most important to Michigan voters, like affirmative action, universal health care and illegal immigration. There were no questions on national security or the state economy, but I'll chalk that up to lack of print space. What I cannot excuse though is one question that the Free Press did ask: "Should the U.S. Supreme Court overturn the Roe v. Wade decision and return abortion regulation to each state, effectively making abortion illegal in Michigan?" I don't take issue with a question about the candidate's view on abortion. It's a serious and important issue. Stabenow's answer, that she would oppose such a move, doesn't surprise me. After all, I cannot think of a Democrat with any legislative role that opposes the Roe decision.

I should digress for a second and briefly explain my stance on abortion. As a conservative who believes in smaller government, I certainly have problems with the state interfering with people's activities. I draw the line, however, where those activities harm other people, including the unborn. I also believe strongly in a thing called personal responsibility. I obviously therefore believe that abortion should be available to victims of incest or rape, either the in classic sense or where the perpetrator takes advantage of someone's diminished mental capacity or maturity, as well as in cases where the pregnancy threatens the mother's health.

Anyway, the problem with the Free Press question is its second half. The question doesn't just imply but outright asserts as fact something that may or may not be true. It assumes that Michigan's voters, either directly or through its elected officials, will outlaw abortion if it had a choice. There may be polls of Michigan voters on what they would do in a hypothetical scenario where they have a say in the matter but I would question their reliability. After all, polls on issues, rather than "will you vote for Candidate A or Candidate B?", are inherently subject to the bias of the people writing the question. For example, depending on my bias, I could write the question as "Do you agree that a woman should be free from government intrusion on issues regarding her body, including abortion?" or "Do you believe that a woman should have the unfettered right to kill her unborn baby?" The polls would also be unreliable since they ask about an imaginary event that might or might not happen in an unspecified time period. Lastly, as recent polls on various races across the country as well as the 2004 presidential exit polls illustrate, polls are far from perfect indicators.

Obviously, Michigan's state legislators could vote to outlaw abortion and keep the issue from the voter's hands. That ploy would only work for so long though. After all, each and every legislator would then be on record regarding abortion and have to face his or her constituents, who could then vote to retain that official or give the job to someone else who would vote differently on the issue. Therefore, whether the matter comes to a vote before the voters directly or the state legislature, the voters would have the ultimate say on the issue. Isn't that what democracy is all about?

That, at its heart, is what was and remains disturbing about the Roe decision 33 years after the Supreme Court rendered it. In 1973, abortion was not illegal across the board in every state. Some states were allowing abortion and some were not. Abortion was already an issue of much debate across the country. Every state had their own debates and were deciding among themselves to what degree, if any, abortion should be legal within its borders. Rather than allowing each state to render its own decision via the democratic process though, the Supreme Court mandated a sweeping rule via reasoning that even many liberals find dubious. It is for that reason, more than any other, that I support overturning Roe. Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

Come To My Window

The other day while I was getting home for lunch, a representative of a respected, local window company approached me on my front walk. He said that he was in the neighborhood doing work for a neighbor and wanted to know if we needed any new windows. I knew he was full of it since there was no vehicle with his company's markings anywhere nearby. I don't normally buy into those "as luck has it your neighbor trusts us and just hired us" shtick, but I know of this company and it has a good reputation. As luck actually has it, we do need to replace a window or two in the house, so we arranged for a salesperson to come this morning. He said that he would have someone call me this morning to confirm the time.

Someone from the company called me this morning and we agreed on meeting at noon. I must have mentioned to the guy on the street that I was married because the caller asked if my wife would be there. I said that she is away all week but that she trusts me to handle these decisions, which is true. The caller said that they could not meet without the wife present and that we should reschedule.

The only reason I could surmise for the requirement is the stereotype that women always want to spend more money than men and that the wife's presence would therefore boost their sale. All I can tell you is that the plan backfired for me. We have no plans now of using the company.

Inspiring?

In case you haven't been watching much sports on television lately, something for which there would be no excuse, you have probably seen the new commercial for the Chevrolet Silverado pickup truck. With John Mellencamp's "Our Country" playing, the ad shows various iconic pictures and videos from the past half century or so in American history.

Assuming that the advertisement's intent was to inspire the viewer's patriotism and, by extension, the purchase of an "American" product, some of the images definitely work. (The merits of labeling a vehicle "American" or "foreign" are somewhat dubious these days, but that's another matter.) For example, Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr. definitely hit the mark. On the other hand, seeing the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina hardly evokes fond memories of days past. On Sunday night, when the commercial ran one of many times during game two, we at Casa Zwicker questioned the effectiveness.

Apparently, we were not the only ones, as this Washington Post article illustrates. Relatives of 9/11 victims as well as callers to the NAACP, among others have voiced their displeasure. Chevrolet's spokeswoman explains that the ad's message was that our country has seen rough times but has bounced back. That might be the intent, but that's not what I saw, and I still don't get it. I merely see a slapdash collection of enduring American images without much thought for offending sensibilities or morale. It will be interesting to see if Chevrolet keeps running the commercial, either in its current state or with different images.

Mr. Clean

While many people have been focusing on what may have been on Kenny Rogers's hand during the first of inning of this past Sunday night's game, nobody bothered to investigate what else the Gambler may have been hiding on his person. Through some heavy duty investigation, which even necessitated purchasing fake teeth that I charged to the Underhill account, I discovered that Rogers had the following other foreign objects on him:

-Unsent love notes from Tim McCarver and Joe Buck to Tony LaRussa

-A baby for Madonna

-A Lions victory

-All those gobs of money that Noah Daddy has helped those big, bad insurance companies unjustly deny paying to the honest working man

-Cardinals' fans' outrage over Mark McGwire's use of other mysterious substances

Play Ball

It sure took long enough but the Tigers finally have an opponent for the World Series. When Magglio hit his historic home run on Saturday night and sent the Tigers to their first World Series, I and many other fans didn't really care who would win the NLCS. The Tigers months ago surpassed expectations and qualified this season as a success. Also, there is a strong feeling, not just among Tigers fans but across the baseball world, that the Tigers are not only better than anything the National League could offer but a team of destiny.

My only preference for drawing the Mets rather than the Cardinals was the inevitable and very annoying comparisons to the 1968 World Series. The idea that the Cardinals are looking to avenge that loss is absurd. Not one member of the current St. Louis roster was even alive in 1968. Only two Tigers (and Macabee) were alive for that series. I hardly think that Todd Jones or Kenny Rogers lies awake worrying about defending the 1968 title any more than they anticipate atoning for losing the 1934 World Series to the Gashouse Gang.

Uncertain

I'm looking for input. I am frankly unsure as to how to vote on the pending Michigan Civil Rights Initiative. This uncertainty is somewhat new to me. I consider myself pretty well informed on politics. Some, certainly not Noah Daddy and Macabee, may disagree with me on one or more issues, but I don't think it's for lack of my ignorance of the underlying facts and issues.

The Michigan Civil Rights Initiative is different. You can find the language here. To me, despite the accusations of impropriety in obtaining signatures, it would seem like for me a no-brainer to vote for the proposal. After all, I have long felt that a government entity providing preferences in hiring or accepting for matriculation to someone based on their race, national origin or gender is both wrong and unconstitutional. The fact that opposing groups have resorted to hyperbole, conclusory statements and litigation rather than debating specific problems they have with the initiative only bolsters my thinking. On the other hand, conservatives whose opinions I respect have publicly spoken against the initiative. I can certainly think for myself but I also listen to others and make informed decisions.

My problem is that I frankly don't understand why, as a conservative, I should vote against this initiative other than to just follow some people whose opinions I respect, something that I cannot just bear. I hear, more so from those on the left who have much more of a tendency to favor affirmative action, that the initiative is evil and will lead to unintended consequences. Those are merely conclusory statements. I'm looking for verifiable, specific facts that support or downgrade the initiative's face value. Feel free to chime in and maturely discuss the issue.

It Really Is A Small World After All

This past week, while on our Vegas vacation, I was playing blackjack at Paris. The man sitting next to me was wearing a University of Louisville polo shirt. I asked him if he was from there. He said that he was and I told him that I was just there for the weekend visiting the in-laws. He asked if I was related to Mrs. Zwicker's uncle. I said that I was actually Mrs. Zwicker's father's son-in-law. He then offered his hand to shake and told me that we were cousins. His wife and my father-in-law are first cousins and they were even at our dairy wedding. It's not as cool as Noah Daddy's Bob Evans story, but it was pretty funny nonetheless.

Jewish-Italian Dating

Great prank call here.

Curious Goy

Yesterday, after posting about my recent purchase, I e-mailed Trino asking how he came to own the book. Here is his response:

Thanks. Did you receive it already? Well, I am a goy, but interested in the Jewish religion, which I admire a lot, and I can read a little Hebrew etc. Part of the reason I sold this is I think Ramban is maybe a little deep for a non-Jew, maybe Rashi is OK. Plus my wife doesn't like me buying so many books. I hope you enjoy though, and that it's not a problem my having owned it previously. I'm not sure what the law is on items like that.

Only In America 2006

I recently started learning Shabbat mornings with Gil F., not to be confused with Gil S. O's Fan is not very optimistic the venture will last much beyond the High Holidays, but that's his problem.

Anyway, Gil F. and I are learning from Art Scroll's new version of the Ramban's commentary on the Torah. If the introduction is any indication, it's pretty heavy yet compelling stuff. It will be a while until we finish the first volume but I figured that I will want the rest of the set for our library, so I searched on e-bay for the second volume.

Sure enough, I won an auction for it and paid a total of $20, including shipping, for an item that goes for around $30 in either websites or brick and mortar stores I have visited. The book came in this morning's mail. In addition to being glad to receive my bargain purchase, I was also quite amused that the seller was Trino Carrera of Ogden, Utah. Based on the other items he is selling and the box and shipping label, it was clear that he wasn't some major distributor. It's kind of funny if you ask me.

Funny But Sadly True

Joke, courtesy of Brent the Gentile:

In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who
had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a
long, long time.

So she went to check it out.

She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was!

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to
leave, she approached him for an interview.

"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall
and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for
all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up
in safety and friendship."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a fuckin' wall."

You Like Me, You Really Like Me

The response to my bail request went great. At last count, friends and family donated over $1,300 to bail me out yesterday. Okay, you really don't care much about or for me. You just wanted to help Jerry's Kids. It doesn't really matter much to me so long as the money went to a good cause, which it did. Thanks to all who contributed.

Reporter or Stripper-You Decide

Notwithstanding the title, this video is clean. Just watch until the end.

Call Me Cynical

I just did a double take when I saw this headline: T.O. tried to kill himself. Excuse me for thinking this, especially during the Ten Days of Repentance, but I cannot avoid thinking that this was just one more T.O. publicity stunt. He is a man who constantly craves attention and the money it brings him. Also, Dallas Cowboys consultant Calvin Hill, Grant's father, said that he works with troubles players and never saw any indication that T.O. had any problems.

No Schadenfreude Here

As a born and bred Michigander, even one who didn't attend U of M, it's second nature to root for only bad things to befall just about anyone associated with the Ohio State University football program, Chris Spielman excluded. I am not alone. I cannot think of one person living in this state who isn't still laughing at Maurice Clarett. I must draw the line though at Troy Smith.

You may be wondering what is so wrong in the life of Smith, the Buckeye's starting quarterback, that I will include him in my prayers this coming Monday, the Day of Atonement. Smith is the early consensus pick to win this year's Heisman Trophy. Whichever team has the first pick in the 2007 NFL draft, especially if it needs a quarterback, will take Smith. Millions of dollars in salary and endorsement deals will shower upon this young man. If the team plays in a metropolitan area with a suburb named Troy, that's all the better for marketing possibilities. The only problem in this whole equation is that the team charging its way into this likely scenario is our own Detroit Lions.

Yesterday morning I awoke thinking that the Lions would have a chance against the Green Bay Packers. Even at 0-2 entering the game, the Lions were seven point favorites. I knew however after perusing the Sunday sports section that the Lions had no chance. After all, in a takeoff of a regular Sports Illustrated feature, the Detroit Free Press asked four Lions some questions about their tastes in modern entertainment. Two of the four said that the worst television show was "Seinfeld." That question alone showed that this team is too stupid to win. Yes, the Guarantor was one of the idiots.

What does all of this mean for Smith? If the Lions' recent history of top picks is any indication, Smith will, through no fault of his own, develop terrible work habits, a selfish attitude and an utter apathy for responsibility. Even worse, if the Lions' quarterback history tells us anything, Smith's name will be relegated to the dustbin of history, along with those of Eric Hipple, Jeff Komlo, Chuck Long and Andre Ware.

Troy, if you're reading this, here is some advice: Fake an injury. Don't make it anything serious that pro teams will not want to ever touch you. Just make it something that will prevent you from playing a few games with enough time to show your stuff at season's end so you can still be a first-round pick. I know that it may cost you a few million dollars initially by dropping, but I have no doubt you will make it up in both money and career achievements in the long run. Besides, maybe with you on the sidelines, Coach Tressel will start Justin Zwick.

It's Hard To Be A Saint In The City

I never knew how hard it was to donate. When we moved a few weeks ago, we knew that a couch and the entertainment unit from our old house did not fit the decor of the new house. We figured that we would put them in the basement, along with the old refrigerator that we inherited with the new house and were replacing. Only when we moved into the new house did we discover that the items were too big to make it down the L-shaped staircase to the basement.

For the past few weeks, we have had a heck of time trying to get them out of our house, preferably for the first cash offer or tax-deductible donation receipt that we could get. We are not talking about junk here. Mrs. Zwicker bought the couch a few years ago and it was still in nearly new condition. We bought the entertainment unit at Art Van soon after we married three years ago. It's nothing fancy-schmancy but it's in good shape and is big enough to hold a 36 inch television.

I first posted something on our synagogue's e-mail group in July but got no takers. Then, our friend who got married during Labor Day weekend was going to take the furniture the week of the wedding when she returned to Chicago. She then realized that the cost and time that it would take to transport the stuff to the Windy City would not be worth it. I then tried Craig's List, where I would have taken the first offer I got. I got a few inquiries but nobody even scheduled a time to come look at the stuff.

I then turned to charity. JARC informed me that it no longer accepts furniture donations. Our friend who works at the Salvation Army said that even if his organization would accept them, they don't pick up donations, at least not ones so big. Purple Heart said that its earliest pickup date would be in late October and that I should call back in a few weeks, without any promise that I would get an appointment. I finally came across Furniture Bank of Oakland County, a branch of the United Way that donates furniture to those in need. The person there said that they will come on Tuesday but wasn't sure that they would take the entertainment unit since there is apparently not much need for them among the destitute. I told her that the driver was welcome to take it home with him for all I care.

I've Got Stripes

They're coming to arrest me. Someone has issued a warrant with the local chapter of the Muscular Dystrophy Association to arrest me on September 28. I will be serving time for Jerry's kids and I need your help to reach my bail goal of $1,200. Your donation, which is obviously tax-deductible, will go towards research, health care services and education in muscular dystrophy. I have no idea who issued the warrant nor do I care. It's in good fun and for a great cause. To bail me out, click here.

Elliot Chodoff

Last night I had the pleasure of meeting and listening to a lecture by Elliot Chodoff. He is a teaching fellow at the University of Haifa and military analyst with an expertise in the Middle East conflict and the global war on terror. Chodoff spoke about what went right and what went wrong in the Israel-Lebanon conflict this past summer.

Chodoff's speech was great. He was very frank about the successes that Israel had, including killing approximately forty percent of Hizbollah's trained forces. For those who think that Israel lost, Chodoff pointed out that Nasrallah has not emerged from hiding since the conflict started and that Nasrallah himself has recently admitted surprise at and regret provoking Israel's ferocity.

Of course, Israel's victory took much longer than anyone expected and at greater psychological harm to Israel than necessary. Chodoff explained why: Israel's top political leaders followed the advice of the top military leaders, who were all former air force personnel. As Chodoff explained, the Israeli air force is excellent at what it does, which is to provide air support to the ground troops and to "neatly" (my word, not his) drop bombs on specific sites, albeit without the ability to enter the sites and see who and what are inside. Also, the air force is unable to take terrorists alive and interrogate them in order to extract useful information. In short, the air force should have been the backup to a massive ground invasion, not vice versa. Once Israel got the ground troops en masse into Lebanon, it was working against the clock of an impending ceasefire.

Chodoff also admitted that Israel has still not come to grips with how to win the public relations war. Part of the problem, Chodoff explained, is Israel's attempt to balance playing the victim on the international stage while at the same time maintaining national morale and abiding by a certain moral code. For example, when a terrorist blows up a bus, it would be very easy to publish pictures of bodies hanging from the charred remains and garner sympathy from Western nations. On the other hand, Israel emphatically opposes exploiting the dead or injured for any reason. Also, Israel has to concern itself with how the imagery will affect the national psyche.

In response to a question as to how Israel reached the point of Hizbollah attacking it, he explained that it was the result of Israel not taking all the saber rattling over the past few years seriously enough. He said that Israel's use of force this summer was, if anything, not enough. In general, Israel is far more aggressive about stopping terrorism before it inflicts damage, albeit without the sensitivity to what others may say. For example, he described the following hypothetical situation with a request to suspend political commentary, which I ask as well: In the summer of 2001, following years of terrorist attacks, the Bush administration learned that the 9/11 plot was in progress. Rather than just arrest the plotters, the American military, using whatever resources necessary, tracked down al Qaeda's leaders and troops and forcefully dismantled the entire operation. The tragedy of 9/11 would not have occurred. At the same time, Bush would have assured his defeat in the 2004 election.

The difference between the two cultures, Chodoff explained, is that, while factions of Islam are at war with Israel, the United States and Europe, only Israel takes it seriously. Ironically, Chodoff predicted that France will be the first European country to strike at terrorism, both in the Middle East and by instituting measures, like creating concentration camps, before any other nation. He explained that the nicer the country, the more it is willing to tolerate attacks before retaliating. France is not nice.

I could not do justice to either effectively summarizing everything Chodoff said or even remembering all the points he covered. I therefore encourage you to subscribe to his e-newsletter here. I have also e-mailed Elliot telling him about this post so he can correct any inadvertent mischaracterizations I may have made.

Real Torture

Courtesy of the GOP Vixen:

So the lead story on Bill O'Reilly was about blasting the Red Hot Chili Peppers as an interrogation tactic, and the assorted voices whining that it's torture. First of all, if you want to use loud, grating music to make a terrorist talk, the Chili Peppers have more of a funk edge -- I'd recommend some cranked-up Pantera instead.

But let's be serious -- even that wouldn't really be torture. Here's what would be torture -- guaranteed to make the most hardened jihadist sing like a canary in five minutes flat:

-Blast a medley of Celine Dion and Air Supply

-Tape the terrorist's eyelids open a la "A Clockwork Orange" and make him watch "The View"

-Put a microwave in closed interrogation room and repeatedly burn microwave popcorn

-Until he talks, his only source of conversation would be Paris Hilton ("So, like, why do you want virgins? And, like, 72?")

-A "Queer Eye" makeover from the Fab Five, shown on prime-time on Al-Jazeera

-Screen "An Inconvenient Truth" and wake terrorist up every time he falls asleep -- sleep inducement AND sleep deprivation!

-Lock him in the Beverly Center with a shopping list on Dec. 24

-I'd say make him do anything the gullible do on "Fear Factor," but I rather prefer an episode of "Gana la Verde" (Mexican reality show where people competed to win a Beverly Hills immigration lawyer) where contestants had to eat worm burritos

-Set him up with a lovely candlelit dinner -- with Rosie O'Donnell

-Make him drink an extra-large soda, make him watch "Titanic," and don't let him go to the loo as he has to watch water running fast down the decks

Face The Promise

I don't normally buy compact discs in big box stores for one simple reason. There is no way that we could have accumulated the collection of which we am proud to own, other than some of the ones that Mrs. Zwicker brought into the marriage (yeah Michael Bolton, I'm talking to you), without doing the bulk of our shopping at used "record" stores and on e-bay. It's even rarer for me to specifically go to a store to purchase an album on its release date. If memory serves me correctly, the last time I did that was when the Hooters released "One Way Home" in 1987. I digress.

One of my favorite musical artists since I first started listening to things other than whatever oldies, show tunes or Jewish music my parents would play in the car has been Bob Seger. No matter how much my tastes have changed, expanded and, as I like to think, been refined, Seger's music has always been at the forefront. In fact, the first disc I have played in every single CD player that I have ever owned has been the classic "Strangers In Town." One of Seger's lesser known songs, "Always In My Heart," played during our wedding processional. Besides being a hometown guy who never seems to let his success go to his head, Seger's lyrics resonated in both their words and delivery. Having the excellent Silver Bullet Band certainly didn't hurt either.

Yesterday I made a point to make it to Best Buy and purchase "Face The Promise," Seger's first album since 1995's sub-Seger-standard "It's A Mystery." It normally take a few listens for me to decide how much I like almost any song or album, assuming it makes it past the initial "it sucks, I never want to hear that again" test (yes, Bolton, I'm still talking to you). I have now listened to "Face The Promise" twice and have to give it the thumbs up. It's certainly not on par with "Strangers In Town" or Seger's other seminal classic, "Night Moves," but that's a damn high bar.

I would instead rate the new album with "The Distance" or "Against The Wind." I don't know if any of "Face The Promise" songs will become as popular as the title track of "Against The Wind" but neither does the new album have something like the one Seger song to which I refuse to listen, "Her Strut," which pays homage to Hanoi Jane Fonda. "Face The Promise" instead contains a rock solid Seger performance. It starts with the classic Seger sound on "Wreck This Heart" and takes various turns through its twelve tracks, including two great duets, one a great Michigan rocker with Kid Rock, on Vince Gill's "Real Mean Bottle," and another a ballad with Patty Loveless on "The Answer's In The Question."

Bob, it's great to have you back. As soon as finish your upcoming tour, on which I hope to see you in concert more than once, get back in the studio and keep on rocking.

Ready For Some Football

The excitement is in the air. In just a few hours, MNFBBQ will begin its seventh year. It all started early in this millennium when we decided to meet every few weeks to enjoy each other's company, grilled meat and, of course, football. We met at Noah Daddy's house that fateful September 4, 2000, to see the Denver Broncos tangle with the St. Louis Rams in the Edward Jones Dome. Not many of us remember the game's outcome (the Rams, with Mike Martz engineering the Greatest Show on Turf, won 41-36), but the night was historic nonetheless.

Six years later, we are still meeting. After the first season, we realized that we had something special, something that should continue year-round. So, during the football off-season, we started showing movies. Through it all, we've had our ups and downs. We've added two members, one of whom left us. One of our founding members, Air, has also left us, albeit for the permanent excused absence of aliyah. (Air reported to me just yesterday that he is looking to take MNFBBQ global, although his meetings will have to be on Sunday nights.) We've joined in the joy of many MNFBBQ births and even one member's marriage, albeit at a dairy wedding. Three members have moved, although one has yet to host in his new home and some don't believe he's actually moved.

We've seen some great games and we've seen some pitiful games. One constant has been the not intentionally amusing player introductions. Invariably, one player too proudly states that his alma mater is not an esteemed institution of higher learning, like Notre Dame or the University of Michigan, but Walker High School or something similar. Another player always introduces himself with the most lascivious look possible. We've seen some great movies, like "American Pie" and "Zoolander", and we've seen some not-so-great movies, like "White Chicks" and "Date Movie". We've also seen "Animal House" and "Animal House" and "Animal House".

It hasn't been all fun and games. We've had to face our share of adversity. We've had canine theft of buns, stale buns, a phantom waitress, George Foreman and a Tuesday night. Did I mention that we watched "White Chicks"? Despite it all, we've persevered, much to our understanding wives' collective chagrin. God bless them and all of the MNFBBQ family.

Capt. Lawrence Daniel Getzfred

Five years ago this morning, Americans rose from their beds and went to work or school or whatever was their daily routine. One such American was 57 year old Captain Lawrence Daniel Getzfred. Capt. Getzfred went to his job, which was more than just a means to provide for his family. As the Pentagon branch head of for Joint Operations and Plans on the staff of the Deputy Director of Plans, Policy and Operations, Capt. Getzfred went to work every day to serve this nation.

As the New York Times described him, Capt. Getzfred was a "Navy Man, Bottom to Top." Serving America was Capt. Getzfred's life. So was his family. On September 11, 2001, Getzfred left home at 4:00 a.m. so that he could finish his day early and make it to his daughter's soccer game that afternoon. Later that morning, when Capt. Getzfred's wife, Patricia Grooss-Getzfred, heard of the horrific attacks on her car radio and her husband had not called, she just assumed that he was still working on the situation or helping someone, which would have been totally in his nature. As Ms. Grooss-Getzfred told a reporter, "He was always looking out for the other guy, playing the mentor, playing the coach."

"He had a tremendous perspective and insight for dealing with people in the Navy because he started out as an enlisted man," said Jess Hernandez, a retired rear admiral who knew Captain Getzfred for more than 20 years. "Larry had a great feeling for those who were junior to him. He had been there, and he knew how important it was to offer his ear."

Capt. Getzfred grew up in Elgin, Nebraska, a town of around 800 people. Soon after graduating high school in 1962, he did the same thing that four of his six brothers did, he enlisted in the Navy. He was nineteen years old and looking for a career that could pay for college and let his see the country. A life in the Navy allowed Capt. Getzfred to see not only the country but the world. Over 38 years, he served in Hawaii, England, California and Washington, and served in the Vietnam and Persian Gulf wars.

During his service, Capt. Getzfred received the following awards and decorations:

Meritorious Service Medal (2), Navy Reserve Meritorious Service Medal, Navy and Marine Corps Commendation Medal (2), Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medal (2), Air Medal (2), Navy Unit Commendation (2), Good Conduct Medal, National Defense Service Medal (2), Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal, Republic of Vietnam Campaign Medal, Republic of Vietnam Armed Forces Meritorious Unit Commendation, (Gallantry Cross Color Medal with Palm), Republic of Vietnam Meritorious Unit Commendation (Civil Actions Medal, First Class Color with Palm), Sea Service Deployment Ribbon (4), Navy and Marine Corps Service Ribbon, Coast Guard Special Operations Service Ribbon, Coast Guard Meritorious Unit Commendation, Meritorious Unit Commendation

The following are some online tributes in Capt. Getzfred's memory:

September 12, 2003
Although I never met you, you are part of the Navy family just like I am. Rest in peace Sir, the watch has been properly relieved.

FN Mugrage (Waco, TX )

November 4, 2003
My husband and Larry were stationed together at Moffett Field, CA. It was a sad day to find Larry on the list. Our best to Pat and the girls. May God keep you and watch over you always.

Connie Spencer (Milton, FL )

Capt. Getzfred died five years ago today because he was at work just doing his job, helping to make this nation safer. Along with that of the nearly 3,000 others who died at the hands of fascists acting in the name of Islam, Capt. Getzfred's legacy will not die. We must remember what this nation is and what it represents and why we must fight to protect it. Rest in peace.

Team Grossbard

The following is a letter from Milaine Grossbard, our friend, former neighbor and, most importantly, wife of an original MNFBBQ member. For those of you who are not familiar, Friendship Circle is an amazing organization. If you have any questions about what the great work it does, check out the website. Because of its importance, I will keep this post atop the Zlog for the next few weeks, although I will keep posting. I know that scrolling down a little bit to see what is new is a terrible inconvenience, but I think you can all handle it.

As you all know, Gabi and I have 2 children with special needs. Chloe has Cerebral Palsy and Sabian has been recently diagnosed with Autism. This has made life for our entire family a definite learning experience. As our children grow, we learn about and appreciate the blessing of having these two very special people in our home.

Unfortunately, life is not always so easy. When taking our kids to places like parks, malls or even to schools, we need to ask ourselves is this outing appropriate for their needs? Is it safe for them? Is it wheelchair accessible? You would be surprised how many places are just not right for our kids.

There is one place that I have never had doubts about. It is a place were Chloe is free to wheel around and touch everything, where her loud laughter is always acceptable. There are rooms filled with sensory toys and games perfect for Sabian. It is a place filled with volunteers fighting to spend time with my daughter and son.

This is the Friendship Circle building. I have told many of you about the special activities they offer children like mine. There are Jewish themed programs for our kids. There are Sunday Circle programs were Chloe and Sabian can play with other children.

Friendship Circle is having a Walkathon on September 10th. We ask all of you, our friends and family, to please sponsor Team Chloe/Sabian. We have set our fundraising goal at $5,000. This tzedakah will insure that Friendship Circle can continue to offer Chloe and Sabian and many other special needs children the opportunity for recreation and growth in a secure environment.

If you have any questions please dont hesitate to contact me,Milaine, at
Jazzidyna@aol.com.

Please pass this on to everyone on your buddy list.

Thank you so much!

Sincerely,
Gabi, Milaine, Jazzi, Dyna, Chloe and Sabian ( Team Chloe/sabian)

Embassy Crashers

One of the lead headlines on CNN's homepage reads, "Israeli Police Storm UK Embassy." That sounds pretty bad. After all, as any fan of "24" knows, embassies are sovereign territory. Sending forces into an embassy has the same legal effect as sending forces across a border into another nation. The article then explains that the commandos entered the embassy to capture an armed Palestinian who scaled a fence to enter the grounds so that he could forcibly demand asylum. The same story on Fox News also paints the same picture, although the headline on the homepage does indicate that the man the commandos nabbed was armed.

A crime occurring inside an embassy does not provide a legal basis for the police to enter the premises. The CNN article, and certainly the headline, give the impression that Israel committed a major violation of international law. What CNN and Fox omitted from the story is one very significant fact that the Jerusalem Post fortunately reports-the British government provided Israel with the consent to enter the premises and to handle the situation, which it did, by the way, with no injuries or fatalities, thank God. In other words, Israel did nothing wrong. Unfortunately, some people will assume the contrary because that's the narrative they receive.

Short People Got No Reason To Live

According to this recent news story, a study shows that taller people are smarter than average. It makes perfect sense to me. Of course, I'm 6'3", so most things make sense to me.

A Day Like No Other

Today is the fourth day of the Jewish month of Elul. For me, the day comes with a doubly poignant feeling to it. On this date in 1972, my grandfather, Rabbi David Zwick a"h, left this world. Because I was only 21 months old when he passed, I never had the luxury of really knowing my grandfather. From what I know from others, I missed a lot. The picture of my grandfather that hung in my parents' homes throughout my life showed a man with a pleasant and gentle smile. Other than that and knowing that my grandfather was a rabbi who taught Hebrew at various Jewish schools in the metro Detroit area, I never knew much about him.

Since moving back to Michigan eleven years ago, I have come feel great pride at being the grandson of a man I don't even remember. It seems like every Jew in the Detroit area between ages fifty and seventy had my grandfather as a teacher. As I meet people in both my communal and professional lives and they hear my last name, they ask if I was related to Rabbi Zwick.

The most memorable example was when, soon after law school and returning to Michigan, I was working for a law firm that represented creditors and trustees in bankruptcies. I was dealing with a file in which I sent a demand letter to innocent beneficiary of fraud demanding that he return the money, around $1,000. A few days letter, the recipient called me and started yelling that he did nothing wrong and wasn't going to return the money. After I argued with him and saw that we weren't going to get the money without a legal battle, I told him off the record that it wasn't worth our while to pursue the matter. Upon hearing that, the man immediately became friendly and asked if I was Rabbi Zwick's grandson. I said that I was. As I would hear many more times over the years, the man recounted what a nice man and good teacher my grandfather was. Needless to say, hearing that over and over again has given me great pride.

Exactly 21 years after my grandfather's passing, the fourth day of Elul was no longer just about my lineage. It became the day of my own greatest achievement, when Lesley and I married. A few months earlier, while driving on the Florida Turnpike between Orlando, where I attended a conference for work, and Boca Raton, where I would be spending Shabbat with some friends, I had time to think and realized after months of dating that I needed Lesley in my life and that I wanted to spend our futures together. While I pretty much knew where our relationship was heading, marriage wasn't something we had really discussed.

The next week, while on vacation in Las Vegas, Lesley and I were browsing in a book store. We were perusing one book that was meant to spark conversations by posing life questions. It sure worked. The first page to which we opened asked where the reader sees himself in five years. I said that I saw myself married to Lesley. She agreed. That was that. As soon as we returned from the trip, I went to the jeweler to order the ring and proposed the following week. After all, as Billy Crystal said in "When Harry Met Sally...", "when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

The rest of my life so far has been the best part of my life. There have been many laughs and a few tears, but every second has been the best because they have been with the woman I love, my best friend, the woman with whom I will, God willing, have and raise children and share this wonderful thing we call life. I don't know where it will take us. I just know who I want with me along the way.

Worst Liar Ever

According to this story, Madin Azad Amin was traveling from Chicago to Turkey with his mother when airport security asked him about a suspicious object in his baggage. Not wanting his mother to know that the object was a penis pump, Amin told the security staff that it was merely...a grenade. Yes, a grenade. Security arrested Amin, who, after telling the truth, is facing a felony count of disorderly conduct.

Let's take stock of this situation. All over the news are stories of men with Muslim names and/or appearances facing arrest or at least harassment and delay due to suspicion that they are attempting to explode airplanes. So what does this guy do when facing the embarrassment of his mother knowing that he needs some, er, help? He instead tells the authorities, with his mother listening, that he is carrying an explosive device.

This tells us two things about Mr. Amin. First, he apparently comes from a culture where it's more shameful within one's own family to need assistance in the bedroom then to be carrying live ordnance on an airplane. Second, he is really stupid to have not thought of a better lie. Of course, if his mother is as dumb as he is, she probably cannot read the news story that reported her son's problem to the entire world.

UPDATE: Mrs. Zwicker raised a good question-Why was it so necessary for Amin to carry the pump on the plane as opposed to checking it with his luggage?

Snakes In A Theatre

The movie "Snakes On A Plane" doesn't really interest me too greatly, but I have to acknowledge some great marketing. For example, by visiting the movie's website, you can have Samuel L. Jackson make a customized telephone call to your friends and family (hat tip to Noah Daddy). However, I think some people are getting a little too excited about the movie. During a recent screening of the movie in a Phoenix, Arizona, area theatre, someone released venomous diamondback rattlesnakes. If the culprits were into the whole audience participation thing, ala "Rocky Horror Picture Show," I'm just glad I didn't go to see "King Kong" with them.

Let's Say Thanks

Whatever you think of the war in Iraq, the men and women representing this nation over there (and anywhere else for that matter) deserve our utmost thanks and gratitude. I therefore recommend visiting Let's Say Thanks. You can select from one of a number of postcards that American children designed. The Xerox corporation will then print the postcard you select, with your name, city and message (don't worry, if you're not feeling particularly poignant, the site has a number of "personalized" messages from which you can select) and send it to a soldier for you.

Hat tip to Brent the Gentile.

World Trade Center

When I first heard a number of months ago that Oliver Stone, of all directors, would be making one of the first major motion pictures about 9/11, I thought that I would probably never see it. It's not that the subject matter is too touchy for my sensitivities. It was more a matter of assuming that Stone's filmography left me assuming that he would use arguably the saddest day in this nation's history as a platform for his politics.

After reading very positive reviews about it, Lesley and I made plans to see Stone's "World Trade Center" last night. It was quite ironic that we saw it last night, hours after news that England's MI-5 captured terrorists planning to hijack and explode airliners heading for America.

The reviews were right. The movie is amazing as a story and art as well as necessary to see. Let me preface that I will not write any spoilers in this post and ask any commenters, if any, to not spoil it for others, although I will add that tissues are a must.

The movie is about both the heroes of the Port Authority Police Department who entered the WTC to save others as well as the cruel uncertainties that their families endured awaiting word of their trapped men. The movie starts by showing the protagonists starting that fateful day in their normal manner, as we all did that morning. The film never shows the planes actually hitting the buildings. It just shows the shadow and loud noise of the first plane as it approached the WTC.

Watching the first part of the movie, when various players heard of the first and then second strikes and the uncertainty they faced while trying to determine what happened and what to do, brought back to me vivid memories of that day. I was sitting in my office in suburban Detroit, getting ready for a 9:30 deposition, when I heard on the radio that an airplane hit one of the towers. Like many others, I assumed it was just an errant small plane that couldn't have caused too much damage in such a massive building. When the second plane hit, we all knew it was much worse and sinister than that.

The deposition witness fortunately did not appear that morning, for reasons totally unrelated to what was unfolding in New York. I was for once not annoyed at someone wasting my time. There was no way I could concentrate on business that day. In addition to knowing that our nation was under attack on our own soil, it was happening in a city in which I lived for seven years and still visited often. It was specifically happening in buildings into which I had entered countless times. I thought immediately of two of my best friends who worked in the immediate vicinity of the WTC. I of course could not reach them by telephone. A very good friend died the prior year. That was the saddest time of my life. Contemplating not only the loss of two more good friends but also having no way of knowing their fates made me a nervous wreck. Thank God, I learned that night that both had escaped any harm. Millions of others went through the same panic that day. Some were not so fortunate.

The rest of the movie dealt with the trapped officers, their families and the rescue efforts. Stone managed to direct and produce the movie in a manner that was tasteful and neither exploitive or political. He merely portrayed some of the things that make this nation so great-the strength of love and family, sacrifice and courage. Nearly 3,000 people died that day. Were it not for our heroes, the total would have been much greater. The movie serves as a stark reminder that those who serve and protect this nation deserve our utmost gratitude. Members of the military and police as well as firefighters make sure that we can enjoy not only our safety but our freedoms. After the movie, I saw an older gentleman in the hall wearing a baseball hat that read, "Once A Marine, Always A Marine-Semper Fi". As I have done for the past few years whenever I have the opportunity, I approached him and thanked him for his service. He thanked me back and offered his hand for a not surprisingly very firm handshake. I looked him in the eye and said, "No, really, thank you." I meant it.

Penniless Lane

Yesterday I stopped at the Farmer Jack at Ten Mile and Coolidge . I don't normally like to shop at that store due to its repeated failure to have enough registers open relative to the number of shoppers, no matter the time of day. I only go there because of its location.

In yesterday's shopping trip, I was only purchasing two or three items, so I used the self-checkout lane. Since the total cost was $5.49, below my usual $10 threshold for credit card use, I paid cash. I inserted into the machine a $20 bill and received $14.50 back. For those of you who may be mathematically challenged, the machine shorted me a penny. Apparently, the machine automatically imposes half of the "give a penny, take a penny" protocol.

A penny is obviously not going to make or break me, but it irks me for two reasons. First, my change at the end of each day goes into one tzedakah fund or another. So please don't think that stinginess is prompting my outrage. Second, while "give a penny, take a penny" is a good idea, it should be the consumer's choice.

A few years ago, Air was rightly upset about Farmer Jack's refusal to stop shoppers with more than the maximum number of items from using the express lane, a violation of which also occurred yesterday in the lane I used. He protested by refusing to put his carts into the corrals in the parking lot. I'm struggling with devising a way of letting Farmer Jack know how upset I am in a manner as effective as Air's.

Michael Levine A"H

With the Nine Days' mourning period officially done and Shabbat Nachamu just hours away, we would all like to proceed to happier times. At the same time, we cannot forget the destructive force that we Jews, especially those in Israel, are facing.

Yesterday, while driving to shul, I heard on ABC radio a brief clip about Michael Levine, a young American who was killed in southern Lebanon the other day and whose funeral was, fittingly enough, yesterday on Tisha B'Av. Listening to wails of his mourners would have been sad enough on any day but reverberated in my mind even more so because of all that we commemorated yesterday. The news became even sadder when I received the following e-mail from our friend Ruthie Rott:

Dear friends,
I've been blessed to hear from so many of you lately with concerns about how I'm doing in Israel. Up until now, I've been able to say that I'm doing fine considering the situation. Unfortunately, the war hit a bit closer to home this week when a dear friend of mine, Michael Levine, was killed in battle in South Lebanon.
Michael, or "Mikey" as we called him was one of the most special people you'd have ever met. He was warm, caring, loving, kind, and always (I mean
ALWAYS) had a huge smile on his face. Over the last two years, he'd become like a 'little brother' to me... he used to call me his "soul sister".
Every now and again, he would drop by for tea and cookies... just to talk about 'stuff'. Those are very special memories that I will forever cherish.
For those of you that have read about Mikey in the Jerusalem Post, you'll know that he was born in Philadelphia and came over to Israel at the age of
17 when he joined the IDF as a lone soldier. He became an Israeli citizen and joined the elite paratrooper division. Despite his slight physical stature (118 lbs, and 5'5" tall) he was a strong and true soldier... through and through... but it never made him hard... he always remained one of the warmest people I'd ever met... with a smile that could light up a room.
When the war broke out, Mikey was on vacation in America. He was not called back to Israel, but he voluntarily chose to return to his unit. Initially, they were going to place him in a homeland division, but he insisted on going ahead with his unit into Lebanon. He even told a mutual friend that he felt like his life wouldn't be worth much anyway, if he didn't come home and fight side by side with his unit - which were his brothers and his family - and to fight for the country he loved. This strength, courage, and clarity coming from a 21 year old is beyond my ability to understand, but will forever inspire me...
He loved Israel. He loved people. And everyone that knew him, loved him as well. The world is a much dimmer place, without him here.
Over the last few days, as I've been processing this loss, I debated whether or not to send out this email. Especially because Mikey wouldn't want people to make too much of a fuss over him anyway - he was a tremendously humble human being. But I thought it was important to put a face (see pic
attached) on the reality of the losses we're feeling here in Israel as well
- it seems to be the story least told in this situation.
For those that are interested, I also wrote something about Mikey and the Jewish holiday of Tisha B'Av (a national day of Jewish mourning) on my blog
at: amomentofinspiration.blogspot.com Mikey was buried on Tisha B'Av... he was a true Tzaddik.
Now, as I close this email, I am going to make a bold request. While expressions of condolence and support are appreciated - and I know how much all of you care - I would prefer something else right now. It would mean much much more to me if instead of emailing me back, you would PLEASE DO SOMETHING in his memory instead. Let his death not be in vain. In his memory, in the name of Michael Levine - give charity, take on a mitzvah, speak kinder to people, don't gossip, say a prayer, judge others favorably, defend Israel (here, or in the media, or in the world), do anything, do SOMETHING, just any small little thing to fill this world with more light.
Because there's a much bigger void than there was just a few days ago...
Please help honor his sacrifice - because if we all do something small - even if it's really really really small - all of us combined will equal something really really big. Please help his memory live through our good deeds...
Love and Blessings Always,
Rachel Tova (Ruthie)

I'll Call Your Gibson And Raise You A Dingell

It's been a week now since Mel Gibson's drunken, viciously anti-semitic tirade. With the Nine Days' ban on listening to music over in a few hours, I have listened to, and read, many opinions on the topic from both ends of various spectra, religious, political and social. The most reasonable summation of the whole sordid affair, in my humble opinion, comes from Dennis Prager.

In essence, Prager argues that Gibson clearly harbored anti-Semitic thoughts, the voicing of which require condemnation. At the same time, Prager continued, Gibson has never, as far as we know, acted on his feelings. To those who say that "The Passion Of The Christ" proves to the contrary, Prager responds that while Jews understandably found the movie disturbing since it displays their religion's ancestors as the wrongdoers, you have to look at the movie from the perspective of Gibson and the movie's gentile audience. They saw the movie not as the Jews committing wrong but as Jesus suffering and dying for their sins. The identity of Jesus' killers was secondary. The proof, according to Prager, is in the pudding-there has been no anti-Semitic act of hatred, violent or otherwise, that resulted from the movie.

I myself have not seen the movie, but those whom I know who have seen the movie did not walk away from it with fear of persecution or even disgust that would come with experiencing an anti-Semitic work. At the end of the day, as disgusting as I find Gibson's statements to be, they don't scare me. They were wrong and Gibson has unequivocally apologized for them. Given his track record, which has been devoid of any anti-Semitic actions, I accept his apologies, albeit with an eye on the future to see whether he has put his hateful views behind. Most importantly, Gibson is an entertainer who doesn't seem to have any power to put his views into action.

On the flip side, sadly lost in the Gibson kerfuffle have been Congressman John Dingell's statements and actions regarding the Israel-Hizbollah conflict. On July 18, the United States Congress passed a resolution condeming Hizbollah for initiating the conflict. Only eight members of Congress opposed the measure. Dingell, along with fellow Michigan representatives John Conyers and Carolyn Kilpatrick (Kwame's mother) ,was among the eight dissenters. This past week, a local reporter asked Dingell if he was taking sides between Israel and Hizbollah. Dingell responded that he was not.

While Dingell does not appear to be an anti-Semite, his statements and actions, which you could label as either moral cowardice or mere pandering to his Muslim constituents in Dearborn, are startling. After all, Dingell is a senior member of this nation's legislative branch. Hizbollah is an organization that the government, under administration of both parties, has officially named a terrorist entity. It is an organization that killed 241 members of our military, a terrorist action for which it has never made amends. According to this morning's Detroit Free Press, "Hizbollah has two fundamental goals: the destruction of the Jewish nation of Israel and the creation of an Islamic nation in Lebanon modeled on Iran." Besides supporting the only democracy and true ally his country has in the Middle East, Hizbollah's stated desire to be another Iran should be alarming enough for Dingell.

Call Gibson a hater, but that's where it ends for him. His opinions may be despicable, but he is at the end of the day just a guy who makes movies. Dingell is someone who can make laws and set policy. You tell me which one is worse.

Bad Statement, Worse Timing

Israel's Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert, has declared that the war in Lebanon is creating momentum for further withdrawals from Judea and Samaria. If Olmert should have learned one thing, it's that giving land for peace only results in giving land while leaving terrorists with the impression that violence doesn't result in defeat but in gaining land. Omert's statement would be terrible at any time but is particularly unfortunate in its timing. The one message that he should be sending now, while his country is fighting Islamofacsists on two fronts, is that Israel will not give an inch to terrorism.

Letter From Avraham

The following is a letter from Avraham a/k/a the Artist Formerly Known as Robbie. Avraham's brother was one of my good friends growing up and our families are still close. Avraham is now an artist in Tzfat, where he lives with his wife and daughter. When Lesley and I were in Israel this past March, we spent a wonderful night at their house in Tzfat. We should all pray for the peace and safety of Avraham and every one of our fellow Jews, both in Israel and in the Diaspora.

b"hshalom,thank you to everyone for writing and for all the heartfelt words of support. i cannot answer all the e-mails personally right now as i have now only a few moments on-line. we (my wife rebecca, daughter ashira, and myself) left tzfat 14 days ago, under fire from ketusha rockets. the bombs started to hit tzfat on the fast of the 17th of tamuz. a few places in tzfat were hit in the afternoon. late afternoon between mincha and arvit (the afternoon and evening prayers), another round of rockets hit tzfat. i was in the abuhav synagogue when we heard the explosions. i rushed home, and on the way saw that a rocket had hit a few streets above our house. i have heard since that a young man was killed in that explosion. a ketusha also hit 6 doors down from our house, injuring a woman and her 5 children, with 2 of her young daughters being seriously injured. (please pray for their recovery: ravital, and bat-tzion bat ravital, and michal bat ravital).

we quickly grabbed some belongings, filled our car with rebecca's brother (who had a ketusha fall 30 meters from him in his house), packed the car with friends and drove from tzfat in the dark as the power in the town went out and more ketushas could be heard exploding. mount meron was on fire as we were leaving.the next week we traveled as refugees from place to place for a week until we rented an apartment for the next couple of weeks in the old city of yerushalayim, where we are now staying. ketushas have been raining down in tzfat and northern israel every day since we left. i believe that well over a thousand bombs have hit northern israel. from what i have heard 80% of tzfat has evacuated and those that remain are living in shelters or more secure rooms.

the old city of yerushalayim is filled with our friends from tzfat. although our experience has been somewhat traumatic, we feel a very high elevation in our spirituality. it is hard to describe the feeling of suddenly not knowing if anything you own exists, being happy and thankful to be alive, and being instantly connected in such a real way to a collective consciousness outside of owns own personal life. it becomes so clear that there is only to try to be with g-d. how the world changes so radically for so many people in just one moment. it feels so messianic to suddenly be removed from our daily routine and to find ourselves with so many of our special community and friends here in the old city of yerushalayim and at the western wall for so many days now, praying for peace and the revelation of oneness in the world. there are so many miracles happening in front of our very eyes. it is so clear to everyone here that we are really experiencing the process of mashiach. not in some distant future, but that we are part of the revelation of geulah in these very moments.

there was a large prayer at the kotel yesterday where many thousands of people prayed together. it was so intensely beautiful to hear thousands of people say shema together, and to call out the 13 attributes of hashem's mercy with the shofar sounds of large silver trumpets like those used in the beit hamikdash.we are personally doing well and are now fortunate to be able to be experiencing this time in this most holy place. our spirits are very high as are those of most of our friends. people are coming together to help one another in every way. some people, especially those who were in the bombing for a few more days before leaving are experiencing various degrees of shock.

we are ok financially, but there are so many people we know from tzfat who are having a very difficult time. there has been no shortage of families opening their homes to host the refugees from the north. it has already been 2 weeks, however, and it is very hard to be in other people's personal space for so long, especially for people we with large families. many people who were just getting by financially before the bombings began, are now without jobs, without homes, and without money. if anyone knows anybody who can donate money to help families from tzfat in these most difficult times, we know many families in great need who we can give the money to.

for those who e-mailed orders for artwork or information from the gallery- we hope and pray that we will be back in tzfat before too long. i have saved the e-mails and when we are, g-d willing, able to be back home again, we will be in contact. for the meantime i am only able to check e-mails very periodically and i have no access to the gallery.we are praying together for shalom, and the revelation of mashiach to help us get there. for the safety of all peoples and our brothers and sisters of the nation of israel. for the safety of our solders and the refuah shelema (complete recovery) of all who have been wounded.

it is impossible to express in words the incredible spiritual awakening we are feeling here in these intense times, the countless miracles we are seeing, and the countless acts of loving kindness as the nation of israel is coming together to help one another. it says in the kabbalah that every suffering in the world is really a hidden blessing. that sufferings work to help us to come together and to remember what is really important. may we be blessed to truly come together and to really know what is important so that we do not need to go through what the world is suffering through today. may we be blessed with abundant faith and the realization that there really is nothing but g-d. may we be blessed to realize that everything in the universe is pushing us all forward towards our spiritual awakening as we are being made ready for the most awesome divine light that is, g-d willing, in the process of becoming revealed very very soon in all the world!

shalom from yerushalayim,avraham

Grease Monkey In The Middle

Our row at shul has an occupational diversity that not many other congregations can match. I and fellow attorney Noah Daddy anchor the row. With marketing maven Air now living in Israel, next in line is our favorite auto repair shop owner. After that is Firefighter Jerry a/k/a the Great American Hero.

I therefore found this Harris Interactive poll interesting. The respondents ranked how prestigious 22 different occupations were. While we attorneys ranked thirteenth, right behind athletes and directly ahead of entertainers, firefighters rank number one. Of course, I wonder if the answers would have been different if the respondents were told that a particular firefighter serves stale buns and showed "Date Movie".

Movin' On Up To The East Side

It's finally happening. This coming Monday, God willing, Lesley and I will be moving to our sort of new house in Huntington Woods. I write "sort of " because, as many of you know, we actually bought the house last year. We have not moved yet for two reasons. First, we wound up doing a lot more work on the new house than we first expected. Second, we had not sold the old house. Fortunately, other than the carpeting in the master bedroom, the work on the new house should be done by the end of tomorrow. Meanwhile, during the move this coming Monday, we will have to break away for an hour or two for the closing on our old house. Comcast will also be at the new house that day to install our Internet access. Needless to say, Monday will be a hectic day

Not that it's been so calm the past few weeks. My office staff must know our new address by heart from all the times they've heard me provide it for various orders, like switching our Internet, Direct TV, newspaper delivery, etc. While we had already moved a lot of our stuff to the new house when we first listed the old house for sale some ten months ago, we still have a lot of stuff left. Among the items we've encountered the past few weeks are Macabee's daughter's Bat Mitzvah gift (yes, she celebrated the occasion on Purim of last year, but at least we'll beat the Feldmans to the punch) and pop bottles and nacho chip bags with "use by" dates from 2004.

As excited as we are about the move, there is a certain sadness in moving from our first home. I have some great memories of the house. It was where Lesley and I first professed our love for each other. It's where we have had wonderful Shabbat meals, some of which were just the two of us and others, lasting as late as 4:00 a.m., with the expanded table filled with great food (credit to Lesley), lots of alcohol (can't forget the bourbon slush) and most important, our families and friends. It's the site of Hanukkahpaloozas I-V. It's where our two behemoths of dogs (actually behemoth and a half) grew from tiny, eight pound puppies.

On the other hand, the new house will be the first home into which we will move together. We hope to have many years of great memories there. Those memories will, as always, include our families and good friends. So feel free to stop by and say hi. For the amount of time and money we put into it, I'll be damned if I'm not going to have people see it. The first few weeks will be a little hectic and you might have to climb over some boxes, but the more the merrier. After all, we could use some extra hands in unpacking.

Tell 'Em Dan!

From coverage of yesterday's rally in New York comes this great quote from Israel's U.N. ambassador, Dan Gillerman: "To those countries in there who claim that we're using disproportionate force, I have only this to say: You're damn right we are. Because if your cities were shelled the way ours were, if your citizens were terrorized the way ours are, you would use much more force than we are using."

Props to senators Hillary Clinton and Frank Lautenberg for attending the rally and speaking in Israel's defense. By the way, it's quite noteworthy that the rally's participants called for peace and resolution. At the same time, Muslims rallying in Berlin chanted things like "death to Israel."

Business Not As Usual

If It's Thursday, It Must Be The Motor City

In the past week and a half, I have gone to Nashville and back twice. The first leg of my odyssey was driving to Music City, via Louisville, with Lesley. She was (and still is as I type) a vendor at the Family, Career and Community Leaders of America (formerly known as the Future Homemakers of America) conference. We went a few days early for a little vacation.

We were both pleasantly surprised at how nice a city it is. Of course, part of our appreciation comes from our being big country music fans. As apparently every Nashville visitor must do, we toured the Country Music Hall of Fame, which was especially cool with its special exhibit on Ray Charles. Being the fan that I am, there was little about the Genius that I didn't already know, but it was still pretty neat to see some of the photos, artifacts, videos, and especially his tuxedos. For anybody who questions whether Ray Charles was actually blind, they only need look at some of the clothing he wore to cast aside any doubts.

In the evenings, we went downtown and just walked. Most of the bars had their doors open so you could hear the live bands playing inside. The bars into which we stopped had some really great music. The country karaoke bar was, however, a mixed bag. After hearing some typical karaoke (in other words, bad), I was about to volunteer my singing services (I was leaning towards "Friends In Low Places", which I assume is a very cliched selection in that part of the country, but what the heck), but hearing some singers who were actually good nixed that notion. The drunk redneck girl who seethed with Morrissette-like angst while singing "Jolene" was another story. We also went white water rafting on the Ocoee River, which served as the course for the 1996 Olympics kayak races. It was a lot of fun, even if I did take an unintentional dive into the water.

After a nice Shabbat and getting Lesley settled in at the Opryland Resort & Convention Center (it's really nice but, if you ever go there, take rations and some bread crumbs to leave a trail-you will get lost), I flew back home. Having a ton of frequent flyer miles and some slow time at work, I decided to fly back on Tuesday evening and so I could spend more time with Lesley and help her sell chocholate at the convention. I flew back again this morning.

Two other things. First, we went to nearby mall yesterday and saw "Superman Returns". It was very good, with Kevin Spacey's Lex Luthor being the best comic book bad guy I've seen since Jack played the Joker. Of course, I'm sure that Noah Daddy can give a much more detailed analysis of the subject.

Second, this sign, which we once again passed on our way to Louisville, will always make me laugh.

Happy Slurpee Day

Since I will likely be on the road most of tomorrow's work day (court in Flint and then a possibly lengthy stop in Pontiac) and then am flying back to Nashville (when I get a chance, I will report on the highlights of a city that pleasantly surprised us), I want to wish all of you in advance a happy 7/11 tomorrow. For those wishing to participate in this festive day, which should really be a national holiday, remember that you can get a free cup of what I like to call the nectar of the gods at your local 7-11 establishment tomorrow. For those of you having doubts about our country's future, it's comforting to know that these youths are fighting the good fight for us all. You can also read a little about the Slurpee, including its kosher status, over at Wikipedia.

Nothing Says Independence Day Like A Paternity Action

Today, like just about any other work day, I have been listening to Yahoo Radio for background music. I usually listen to my own station, which plays songs based on the ratings I have given to thousands of songs, artists and albums. In fact, if you ever want to listen to it, it's called Zwickeroo.

I sometimes opt for one of the dozens of stations that Yahoo has. You can choose a particular genre, mood or era. Today being the day before Independence Day, I chose the special July 4 station. I heard the expected fare, starting with John Cougar Mellencamp's "ROCK In The USA". Throughout the next few hours, the station played some good John Phillip Sousa marches, Ray Charles' classic version of "America the Beautiful" and songs from artists like the Beach Boys and Chuck Berry that are as American as they come.

Then came "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson. I know that most of these songs get into a particular playlist by a computer picking them based on similarities to other songs or artists. I still found this selection hilarious. As just about anyone knows, the song is about a man, ostensibly portrayed by the King of all Freaks, facing a paternity action by a woman with whom he danced. There are many themes and topics that reflect American values. Other than Maury Povich, I cannot think of too many people in this country who find value in a woman accusing a man of being the father of her child. In retrospect, knowing what we know now about Wacko, the song is funny on any day of the year. On July 4, the song is even more absurd.