Monday, December 17, 2007

Dilemma

Here's my problem. Due to a scheduling conflict, we, the men of MNFBBQ have moved the football season ending meeting from two weeks from tonight to this evening. (See Adam? There is no such thing as the end of barbecuing season.) Like all MNFBBQ members on the day of a meeting, I would try to minimize my caloric intake today so as best to enjoy tonight's menu, much like Jews have the commandment to eat little the day before Passover in order to maximize one's appetite for the Seder.

You may be asking yourself what's the problem. Since you may have asked, I will tell you my problem. This evening there will be a small family get-together for my nephew's birthday party. While it will not prevent me from making MNFBBQ at Stale Buns' house, the menu presents a problem. In the past, I have attended other festive events right before an MNFBBQ and eaten just enough so as not to appear rude to the hosts. Tonight's birthday dinner is different. My nephew, who, at nine years old is obviously wise beyond his years, has chosen barbecue for tonight's menu and selected Romanian meats as the specific fare.

Now do you see my problem? This is much like the Talmudic dispute regarding a shopper who, during the week, sees an especially fine cut of meat in the market. Does he buy it and set it aside for the Sabbath, since there is a commandment to have the finest food on the day's holiest week, or does he not wait to eat it and have faith that God will present him with an even better piece before week's end? Also, what if, God forbid, tragedy would prevent me from getting to Stale Buns' house? Won't I regret not seizing the moment?

It's early in the morning and I may not be thinking straight, but my plan as of now is to have one hot dog at the birthday dinner while still leaving plenty of room in my stomach for the evening's main event. I have my doubts whether that is the correct path to take though. I can only pray that God grant me the wisdom and strength to reach a just conclusion to my difficult dilemma.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Just Another Lions Loss

Yesterday, Mrs. Zwicker and I attended her Uncle Mel's funeral in Louisville. When we returned to the in-laws' house to get the Zwickerette and take her to the shiva house, we found the babysitter had the Lions-Cowboys game on the television. I saw that the Lions were winning 27-21 with two minutes left. I confidently declared, "Final score, Cowboys 28, Lions 27, on a last second touchdown." My father-in-law and the babysitter looked at me quizzically, wondering how I could root against my home team. As the Cowboys drove down the field, I explained that any longtime Lions fan hopes for the best but knows that these things will happen.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

An Open Letter To Liberals, Friends and Strangers Alike

It's not going to work. You're not going to convince me to change my party affiliation. I'm not saying it could never happen. I'm just saying that it won't happen if you don't change the tone of discussion.

It won't happen so long as you assume that I don't apply rational thought and good faith to my political views. I hate to break it to you but I actually read about and listen to a broad array of facts and opinions before reaching a conclusion on how to cast my votes and which causes to support. While the media that I prefer tend more towards the right, I read plenty of left-leaning publications and/or websites. In addition to various newspapers, like the Detroit Free Press and New York Times, I also regularly peruse the Daily Kos and New Republic, among others. Before reaching a conclusion about an important court ruling, I will often read the applicable statutes and do my best to understand the underlying facts.

It won't happen so long as your debate consists of labeling all conservatives as yahoos, haters and hypocrites. Neither the liberal camp nor the conservative camp has a monopoly on intelligence or virtue. Neither camp can totally wash itself clean of the undesirables, whether they be politicians, pundits or just people posting on a blog's message board. Both sides have leaders and spokespersons who want what is best for this country. Some are right and some are wrong and debating which is which is all fine and good. If you don't like something the current administration does or says, explain why it's wrong. I can name a number of issues on which I have disagreed with President Bush. But dismissing everything he does as the act of a moron or evil genius, depending on the day, will never persuade me. If you don't like what Rush Limbaugh has to say, explain rationally why you disagree with him instead of saying he is wrong simply because he's an evil, overweight pill popper.

It won't happen so long as you criticize my plan to vote for President Bush and Vice President Cheney's reelection. What's that you say? They're not running again? Well, in that case, stop whining about what you dislike about them and instead tell me, in rational terms, how your candidate will improve things.

If you want to mock or hate those with whom you disagree, be my guest. Just don't expect me to listen anymore.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Kyle Lagrasso

Whether or not you are a sports fan or a parent, this video is amazing. It's twelve minutes but well worth every second.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

What A Country

In the 1970's and 1980's, many Jews left Russia for the United States, Israel and other countries where they could enjoy freedom, religious and otherwise. Many such people left their homes with few possessions. Two such people, a young married couple, came to the Detroit area in 1979 because the husband had an uncle here. The young couple left Russia with just a few suitcases. They arrived here with even less than what they had taken.

The couple's first stop upon landing at Metro Airport was the headquarters for Jewish Family Services, which was then on Greenfield Road in Southfield. Through hard work and assistance from family and the community, the family realized the American dream. The husband became a successful engineer and with his wife bought a house in which they raised two daughters.

The older daughter graduated from law school this past May. Last Thursday, she received notice that she passed the Michigan Bar Exam on her first try. She got the good news from her father while she was at her new office, having started her first job as an attorney that very morning. Her office is on Greenfield Road in Southfield-in the very same building that was her parents' first stop in America.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Our Next Rabbis

With our synagogue's rabbi's recent announcement that he and his family will be leaving us next summer to live in Israel, it is not too early for us to consider who will fill the role next. Some want our congregation to hire someone part time while others want us to wait a year. The last time we faced this conundrum, I floated amongst a small circle of other progressive thinkers my approach. I was obviously ahead of my time but am now confident that, with the magic of Al Gore's Internet, my idea will not only take hold within our community but become a model for congregations of all faiths worldwide.

What is this earth shattering approach, you may ask? Well, you may. Now that you have, I can sum it up in three words-perpetual interviewing process, also known as PIP. The PIP is very simple. Rather than hire one rabbi full time, we continuously interview supposed candidates.

The PIP carries some obvious benefits. First and foremost, the financial savings will be tremendous. Assuming that most candidates will come from the New York area with their spouses, at an average ticket cost of $250 per person for fifty weeks a year (our "search committee" will need some vacation time), our annual cost for airfare for the year should be approximately $25,000 per year. With no benefits like health insurance to pay, $25,000 should be our total cost.

The logical question is what we would do with all the money that we will save by not paying a full time rabbi. While other congregations may have other needs, ours has a major need-a men's clubroom. We can use the savings to build a lounge with recliners, large televisions, beer kegs, etc. Since the room will undoubtedly attract new members, the room will certainly pay for itself in no time.

Another immediate benefit will be the quality of sermons we will hear. Since the "candidates" will be under the impression that they are applying for a real job, they will bring their "A" games each and every time. Also, because they will not want to offend our congregation, we won't have to sit through some hectoring guilt trip. With the promise of top-notch, guilt-free sermons every week, people will flock to and join our congregation, providing revenue in addition to the salary savings.

This idea is so simple and yet, dare I say, ingenious that I cannot believe no other congregation has tried it. As soon as ours does though, it will become the next best thing. Who's with me?

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Liberals Are Anti-Semites

I know, I know, the title of this post really caught your attention. You must be thinking that you are about to read some baseless, heated rhetoric. Hear me out though and you will soon agree with my conclusion, which is utterly logical and empirical. This morning's Detroit Free Press had a little blurb about the upcoming Ann Arbor Folk Festival. In addition to the great and underrated Ben Folds, the lineup has some other noteworthy performers, like Toad the Wet Sprocket, Emmylou Harris and Jill Jack, all of whom Mrs. Zwicker and I would love to see perform.

Alas, being Jewish Sabbath observers, we cannot attend most of the festival because it will be on a Friday and Saturday night. In other words, we are suffering because we are Jews. Who is causing this suffering? Think about it. Ann Arbor, which, in case you couldn't guess on your own from the festival's title, is hosting the musical event. Ann Arbor is also a major hotbed of liberalism. It is therefore quite reasonable to conclude that liberals scheduled the festival. Liberals are therefore causing Jews suffering. Ergo, liberals are anti-Semites. Case closed.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Album Covers

Today being a slow day at work, I found myself surfing Al Gore's Internet*. I came across Rolling Stone's list of 25 favorite album covers. I think that I share many music fans' opinion that an album cover can be a work of art. I also know that there is no right or wrong when it comes to favorite works of art. At the same time, whoever comprised seemingly chose album covers based not on the artwork but on the music on the album itself. After all, is there really anything great about the covers of Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run" or Blondie's "Paralell Lines"? They're just pictures of the musical artists. While some of the entries are true classics, like Nirvana's "Nevermind" and the Beatles' "Abbey Road", I would certainly have included, among others, these:

Derek and the Dominoes- "Layla And Other Assorted Love Songs"

The Who- "The Who Sell Out

Cream- "Disraeli Gears"

If anyone is still reading this blog, feel free to nominate other choices.

*NoahDaddy-It's a joke.

UPDATE: For a music list that is much more relevant and well selected, click here.

Monday, October 01, 2007

I'm An Idiot

Over the years, I have done some pretty stupid things. I volunteered to be gabbai. I wasted time and money to see more than one Police Academy movie. I've even voted for a Democrat on at least one occasion. Last week though, I took the cake.

The Zwickerettes and I drove down to Louisville to spend the first few days of Sukkot with the in-laws. Right before getting on the Southfield Freeway, we were sitting at the CVS drive-through when I commented to Mrs. Zwicker that I felt that I felt that I forgot to pack something in the car, which was my responsibility. Sure enough, six hours later, just fifteen minutes from the in-laws' house, I realized that I forgot to pack all our hanging stuff, including my suits, shirts and ties and Mrs. Zwicker's dresses. I also forgot to pack Mrs. Zwicker's hats.

When I brought my oversight to her attention, Lesley's first reaction was to laugh her butt off. At first, I didn't understand why she wasn't angry. I quickly realized the fallacy of my rookie-like thinking. My boneheadedness meant Mrs. Zwicker's guilt-free shopping for new clothes. We made a detour to the mail, where, hundreds of dollars later, we had new duds for the holiday.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

He's Back

In the summer of 2006, I told you here and here about a con man who, while violating parole, ingratiated himself into our community and defrauded people, businesses and religious institutions of thousands of dollars. After police arrested him outside a local kosher pizzeria, Clifford Schwartz a/k/a Christopher Parker a/k/a Joseph Cohen pled guilty to six counts of what is commonly known as passing bad checks. Despite his parole status and criminal history, Clifford served only one year before his release. He is apparently back in our local community, now under the name of Eliyahu Cohen.

I am not sure what is more appalling, that Clifford got parole already or that he takes us for such fools as to not move his con game to another city or state. For that affront to our collective intelligence alone he should suffer incarceration.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Our Newest Ambassador

As many of you know, Madonna spent this past Rosh Hashanah in Israel with the people from the Kabbalah Center. The Catholic girl from here in Oakland County proclaimed herself as an "Ambassador for Judaism." When I mentioned the story to my rabbi the other morning, he made an excellent point. Notwithstanding the Kabbalah Center's slide from a legitimate home of Judaism (Disclosure: the Kabbalah Center played a large part in my father-in-law's becoming religious before it became the cult it is now), there are much greater concerns that we Jews have from within. For example, the rabbi asked me, which is worse, the Kabbalah Center or Humanistic Judaism,? The rabbi agreed with my immediate reaction, that Humanistic Judaism (which, for those who don't know, is atheistic Judaism) is far more threatening. After all, Humanistic Judaism aims to indoctrinate Jews into a quasi-religion.

Notwithstanding that Madonna is more a joke and/or nuisance than anything else, I must give props to Ben Shapiro, whose article entitled "Madonna's Fake Judaism" is worth reading. Here is one great part:

Hollywood's fascination with Kabbalah springs from a lust for spiritual reward without spiritual work. The glitterati love any religion that allows them to sleep at night without restricting whom they sleep with.

Read the whole thing here.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Gedaliah Owes Me Big Time

With the All Candy Expo starting in Chicago tomorrow morning, Mrs. Zwicker had to go to the Windy City today. Since her father will help man the booth, Mrs. Zwicker's mother came to watch the little Zwickerette during the day. Because Mrs. Zwicker was nervous about driving with no assistance if the little one were to go into meltdown mode, I, being the caring and sensitive husband that I am, offered to drive to Chicago and then take a Southwest flight home.

On any other day, I would have made a detour before going to Midway Airport before flying home. Alas, because of some guy named Gedaliah, Ken's was not to be. To quote Tom Petty, "God, it's so painful, something that's so close yet still so far out of reach. Oh yeah, alright, take it easy baby, make it last all night."

Along I-94 I saw a bumper sticker that made me wonder. It read: "I'm a historic preservationist and I vote." Are there politicians who, before casting an important vote or making some important policy pronouncement, asks his or her advisors, "Wait, what do the historic preservationists think about this?"

Before boarding my flight back to Detroit, I visited the restroom. Don't worry, I made sure to maintain a narrow stance and keep my toes firmly on the floor. Being Southwest, I also made sure that I was not showing too much leg or cleavage before boarding my flight.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Merry New Year

It's been quite a while since I last posted and even longer since I posted regularly. As you probably guessed, other priorities have gotten in the way. With a nanny who doesn't have to leave by 4:00, thereby necessitating my working on a very tight schedule, and with the Zwickerettes away next week, I should be back to regular posting real soon. Whether anyone is still checking this blog to know the difference is another story.

In any case, this has been, thank God, a great year. First and foremost, God blessed me and Mrs. Zwicker with the greatest gift we could imagine. Many of our friends have received the same blessing or will soon. My work has gotten even more interesting, challenging and enjoyable.

In short, I could not ask God for anything more. I try to my best to keep that thought in mind when I say the Modim ("thanks") blessing I say in the prayers three times a day. May this year be one of blessings, good health and happiness for us all, as well as the recoginition and appreciation of the God who grants it all to us.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

An Inconvenient Image

Air, Stale Buns and No Waitress just reached Climax together. Come back for more updates as soon as you have erased that awful visual snapshot from your mind.

Full Circle

Five years ago, two guys, whom I'll call Air and No Waitress, wanted to dine at the famous Ken's Diner in Chicago. Knowing that their wives would not appreciate their taking a day off work but not spending it with the family, the guys devised a clever scheme. They solicted some sponsors who would receive Ken's burgers and Roumanian meat, with the proceeds going to charity, under the guise of being a drive-a-thon. Air and No Waitress correctly surmised that their wives could not object to spending the day raising money for those in need, even if it was a thinly veiled subterfuge. So, the two packed themselves into a car and headed to Chicago.

To the surprise of many, including yours truly, Air and No Waitress raised a decent amount of money for charity. Realizing they were really onto something, they raised the bar each of the following three years by renting an RV and, amid great fanfare, taking a whole crew, including a filmmaker whose documentary of the day dissapointingly failed to get a deal at Cannes or Sundance. Every year, the drive-a-thon became more successful than in the past.

Today, the drive-a-thon is back on the road. Due to Air's aliyah last year, the great event is taking place in August, while he is visiting town, and without quite the publicity as in the past. Nevertheless, Burger One, with Air, No Waitress and Stale Buns aboard, embarked at approximately 6:55 this morning. Ground Control received word just minutes ago that Burger One, which this year is No Waitress' Grand Cherokee rather than an RV, just passed Jackson. Updates, including pictures, will hopefully appear here throughout the day. Meanwhile, let us all wish those aboard Burger One good luck and Godspeed.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

It Was Gatlinburg In Late July


Some notes from our recent trip to Louisville and Gatlinburg:

-The giant Jesus at exit 29 on I-75 in Ohio was inspiring as usual. It even had me singing this song.

-That sign for Big Bone Lick State Park will always make me laugh.

-The Simpsons and new Harry Potter movie are both definitely worth seeing.

-We went on Sunday to the aquarium in Newport, Kentucky, right across the river from Cincinnati. The aquarium is great on its own but is also part of an amazing complex overlooking the water and the Cincy skyline. It has a top of the line movie theater and a number of good stores, all surrounding a large courtyard with limestone and cobblestone pavement. They have street performers and apparently a number of concerts throughout the summer. It really brings life to the waterfront, an area where many people like to spend time. In other words, it's yet one more thing that Detroit should have done years ago.

-We've discovered that Emma is a Johnny Cash and Diana Ross (separately, as I don't think they ever sang together) fan. They are the only musical performers thus far that can calm her when she's in meltdown mode.

-We had our first night away from Emma since she came home from the hospital when we left her with the in-laws while we spent the night in Gatlinburg. I jolted from sleep at 5:45 in the morning when I had not heard Emma, only to realize where we were.

-The lady playing miniature golf in front of us the other night in Pigeon Forge had the gall to be talking on her cell phone during her game. Talking on a cell phone during a funeral or in a library is one thing, but during a miniature golf game is another. How dare she?

-On a more serious note, I'm about a quarter of the way through Ronald Reagan's recently released diaries. Whether you loved him or hated him, I highly recommend the book. Rather than a whitewashed, after-the-fact autobiography or biography by someone with a bias for or against the subject, a contemporaneous, private diary by one of last century's most consequential men gives great insight into the thoughts of a historic person. It is also interesting to see how much some things have changed, like the collegiality in the Beltway. While they often publicly butted heads, Reagan often wrote fondly of Democratic Speaker of the House Tip O'Neill. They considered each other as friends worthy of admiration and respect, even when they disagreed on some very important issues. This is far different from the vitriol and hatred that has come from both sides of the aisle the past fifteen years or so.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Less Artsy More Fartsy

Some notes from last night's trip to Ann Arbor for the art fairs:

-Even though she sleeps most of the time she's in her stroller, Emma is really a babe magnet. Next year I'll have to leave Mrs. Zwicker at home.

-In a state with an economy as bad as Michigan and competition for the almighty dollar consequently being so tough, nudist colonies should really get better looking spokespeople.

-By placing the booths for the Michigan Atheists and the National Organization for Circumcision Information Resources Center (they're against it) next to each other, the fair organizer did a big favor to the mohel who likes a theological debate but is pressed for time.

-When you run into a casual acquaintance in Ann Arbor of all places and tell him that you and the wife bought his and hers dog collars, it's best to specify that they are for your canines.

-At last year's fair, Mrs. Zwicker and I parked next to a car with a bumper sticker that read: "I'm Wiccan And I Vote." Since then I have wondered if there are any politicians who, before making any decision, says to his or her staff, "Hold on, what's the Wiccan voting bloc's position on this?"


Thursday, July 12, 2007

Perspective

I just sent a contract to a prospective client. After weighing and sealing it, I found the correspondence weighed .8 ounce. I then realized that I forgot to include a return envelope in which the recipient could send a signed contract. After inserting the return envelope and sealing the outer envelope, I weighed it again to make sure that I would affix sufficient postage. I found that the return envelope increased the overall weight by one-fifth of an ounce.

This made me recognize once again what a miracle Emma's being with us is. Each day of Emma's first 28 days in this world, Mrs. Zwicker and I would eagerly anticipate the latest weight report. While a gain of half an ounce was a good sign and a full ounce could really make our day, a gain as little as one-fifth of an ounce was a positive.

In case you are wondering, according to the in-laws' kitchen scale, Emma weighed approximately seven pounds on July 4th. I am still considering O's Fan's suggestion of adding an Emma Weight Counter to the Zlog sidebar and see how old she is before she or Mrs. Zwicker make me remove it. For now, here's a picture of Emma with not-so-little Sammy a few weeks ago.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

7/11

There are those voters who have that one issue that trumps all when deciding who gets their votes for president of this great country. For some, it's abortion. For others, it's gun rights. Some put the environment first while others' primary concern is their own financial well being. With the next presidential election almost sixteen months away, I have decided that, for the very first time, I too will be a single issue voter. What is my most paramount, burning issue that I hold dearest above all, you may ask. You may.

As of today, July 11, 2007, Slurpee Day, whichever candidate first pronounces his or her sincere appreciation for the importance of the most wonderful, effervescent beverage in the world gets my vote. I want, no I demand, a president who will give the Slurpee the honor it so richly deserves. Today, 7/11, should be a national holiday. Access to a Slurpee at any time should be a constitutional right, not just a privilege. It is also a great example of the great melting pot that is this country. For example, if you want to meet an Indian in Delaware, you merely have to go to the nearest 7-11. Just ask Joe Biden.

Monday, July 02, 2007

It's All In The Pursuit

Mrs. Zwicker and I, along with some friends, watched "The Pursuit of Happyness" the other night. It's based on the true story of Chris Gardner, a down-on-his-luck single father who struggles to make a living to support himself and his son. Gardner, whom Will Smith played quite well, doesn't give up no matter how bad things get, even when he and his son lose their apartment and sleep in a public bathroom those nights Gardner and his son are not fast enough to get to the homeless shelter. Through it all, Gardner maintains not only a positive attitude for himself but for his son as well. The ending is predictable-Gardner gets a job as a stock broker and goes on to make a very nice living for himself.

The movie is meant to be uplifting, showing an otherwise average guy who overcomes the odds to earn a good job so that he can take care of his son. While I usually enjoy those types of movies, assuming they are well done, this one left us all flat. The movie was just so depressing and exhausting until the last scene, which lasted all of two minutes. We would have like a little more showing of the reward for all of Gardner's efforts and perseverance.

As I thought about the movie over the next few days though, I came to appreciate a message that Gardner mentions at one point but remains otherwise unspoken. Gardner refuses to complain about his lot in life and instead maintains a positive attitude. Not only that, but he also acknowledges that society doesn't owe him anything. He correctly says that the Constitution does not guarantee life, liberty and happiness. It instead guarantees life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness (the spelling in the title is from the grafitti outside the son's daycare center). As Smith showed, it's up to each person to make the most of his pursuit. With July 4th coming, Chris Gardner reminds us all of what makes America so great.

Friday, June 22, 2007

C'est La Vie Say The Old Folks

Mrs. Zwicker and I have found ourselves in that wedding invitation no-man's land. You know what I'm talking about. Most of our friends are married, so we rarely attend weddings or Sheva Brachot for friends. When we get an invitation, it is often because we are on the parents' list rather than that or the bride or groom.

The other night, we went to such a Sheva Brachot. I would guess that the bride and groom are only a few years younger than us. The groom's parents, with whom we are friendly from shul, had invited us. We got there a little late to find most of the tables full and very few of our contemporaries there. We saw two empty seats next to our friends, Gil and Rebecca. We made a beeline to them since the few other tables at which our friends were sitting were full and the only other table was in the far corner with four people, three women and a man, all looking to be in their sixties, and not seeming to know anyone else. Alas, the seats next to Gil and Rebecca were already taken, so we headed to the corner thinking that we wouldn't be there very long.

Being friendly, we got to talking to our table-mates. The three women were the groom's mother's co-workers. The man was one of the women's husband. Frankly, he looked like the stereotypical high school shop teacher. After a few minutes of small talk, we learned that he was a career Navy Seal, now retired. During part of his employment, he was on President Richard Nixon's security detail.

We could have sat there all night talking with him, listening to his (non-classified) stories, like his first trip to Israel. He was serving in Vietnam in June of 1967 when he got an assignment to protect a Saudi oil sheik in East Jerusalem just as the Six Day War was about to start. His best line of the evening was regarding being caught in an Arab assault and having to defend himself. "We weren't invited to the party, but once we were there, we were going to dance." Of course, the line loses something when not hearing him say it in his Louisiana drawl. The man is now indeed a high school teacher, of ROTC. His stories about that were not nearly as dramatic but were equally uplifting and intriguing. It goes to show you never can tell.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Ernestine Bradley

On Monday night, I had the honor of meeting and hearing a speech by Ernestine Bradley. Mrs. Bradley is a non-Jew who was a child in Germany during the Holocaust. As she has done around the world, Mrs. Bradley spoke of her experience in confronting the atrocities that occurred in her homeland. Her speech was very compelling. I hope to read her autobiography soon.

Before the speech, a few of us on the committee that brought Mrs. Bradley to town had dinner with her. Among the many topics were her family. One person asked Mrs. Bradley how she met her husband, NBA Hall of Famer and former United States Senator Bill Bradley. Mrs. Bradley explained that she was working on an educational documentary in which various celebrities were speaking about some topic. One of the interviewees was Bill Bradley. Not being a sports fan at all, the future Mrs. Bradley didn't know much about him. They started talking and, as they say, the rest is history. Someone else asked Mrs. Bradley how her future husband performed in the video. She said that he did well, to which I added that I would have expected as much since he was the star of one my favorite commercials of all time. She had no idea what I was talking about, even after I described the commercial to her. I wonder if she went home and asked him about it or found it herself. Of course, if she is Googling herself and comes across this blog, she can find it right here:

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

My New Favorite Website

I know that NoahDaddy is going to love this.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

40 Years Later

Courtesy of Macabee.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Sunday Morning Coming Down

The front page story this morning across the country is of the foiled plot of destruction at New York's JFK airport. Actually, not every paper has it on the front page. The New York Times, the Paper of Record, which in case you couldn't determine from its name, is a New York newpaper, relegated the news to page 37. Anyway, as I finished the article in this morning's Detroit Free Press, I was left wondering one thing that the Free Press didn't address-to which religion, if any, do these aspiring terrorists belong? Hmm, I wonder.

Mrs. Zwicker and I finally watched the season finale of 24 last night. It was a microcosm of the season as a whole. It started strong but then devolved to a mixture of some good scenes and some unnecessary personal stories that were more appropriate for a soap opera. The last twenty minutes were rather fluffy with all the tying up of loose ends although the last few minutes were great. While the show has previously addressed Jack's tortured soul, the last image of the season being a close-up of his face as he contemplated what his life had become was powerful. The silent clock was very appropos.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Mama I'm Coming Home

Great news! Emma's weight jumped 2.3 ounces to a whopping total of 3 pounds, 15.4 ounces. The doctor said that she can come home today. It looks like our counting down every night of the Omer worked in the end. Thank you to God for letting us bring home our beautiful baby, safe and sound. Thank you to all our friends and family who have been so supportive and helpful. Last but certainly not least, thank you to Mrs. Zwicker, for spending countless hours at the hospital, giving Emma just a small dose of the love and attention awaiting her at home. I love you both.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Emma Update

Sorry, especially to Dr. O's Fan, for the lack of postings the last week or so. With my whirlwind tour of Midwest hotspots like Lansing and Toledo, not to mention twice-daily visits to the hospital, I have not had much time to post. Yesterday, Mrs. Zwicker and I again walked the four-plus miles to the hospital to spend Shabbat afternoon with Emma. Don't worry, the nap streak is still alive. Just as important, Emma's weight as of this morning is 3 lbs., 11.2 oz., just 4.8 ounces short of coming home. At the rate at which she has been gaining weight, she should be home by the end of this week. As Cousin AJ pointed out the other day, we might want to slow Emma's weight gain. If she keeps going at this pace, she'll be 182 pounds by the time she's five years old.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Notes From The NICU

You probably cannot tell it from the pictures but Emma is growing less littler every day, thank God. As of last night she was at 3 lbs., 6.4 oz. She's been guzzling her milk like her daddy drank in law school, albeit a beverage of a different sort. The doctors hope to have her out of the isolette and taking all her feedings via bottle rather than a nose tube within a day or so.


Friday, May 11, 2007

The Cure

For the past two weeks, while visiting Emma in the hospital two or three times a day, it has bothered me that there are so many sick people in the world. I just wished that I could do something to help even one sick person. Early this morning, while driving to see Emma, I realized the answer when I heard Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear The Reaper." The cure had been right before my eyes all this time. More cowbell! Now i just have to find one that I can take to the hospital and play its soothing melodies as I walk through the halls. Soon enough, Sinai Grace Hospital will have no more patients. I can then go from hospital to hospital, not just in southeast Michigan but around the world, healing all who can hear the glorious cowbell.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Every Ounce Counts

Little Emma is getting slightly less little each day. As of this morning she weighed 3lbs., 2.6 oz., approximately three ounces above her birth weight. She lost a few ounces her first few days but has gained at least .4 ounce every day but one over the past eight or so days. We hope to have her home in two weeks or so, which was when she was supposed to be born. In case you're wondering, the tube you see going into Emma's nose is just for feeding. She has been drinking more and more from her bottle and less and less from the tube. The other wires are just monitors for her heartbeat and stuff like that.

Last night I changed her diaper for the first time. It wasn't the first time I had changed a diaper, just the first time since I babysat in high school. To give some perspective on how long ago that was, I specifically remembering changing the baby's diaper while watching Mike Scott pitch a no-hitter to clinch the Houston Astros a spot in the 1986 National League playoffs.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Emma Pictures

I was never a fan of people e-mailing dozens of unsolicited pictures of their children. On the other hand, some of you have asked to see more pictures of Emma. These are for you.

For those keeping score at home, Emma was 3 lbs., 1.4 oz. as of this morning. She's on her way, bli ayin hara.



Monday, April 30, 2007

Introducing Emma

This past Wednesday, also known as the day after NoahDaddy's birthday, started with a plan, an uneventful plan but a plan nonetheless. Before leaving the house that morning, I spent a few minutes starting a mix of some songs to play in Mrs. Zwicker's delivery room. After minyan, the rabbi and I scheduled a time for the following week at which we could discuss the halachot of going to the hospital vis a vis Shabbat and Yom Tov. After minyan, I went to the office so I could work for an hour or so before going with Mrs. Zwicker to the weekly doctor's visit. I assumed that I would be back in the office by 11:00 and then head to Ann Arbor to do some work at the courthouse there. Well, you know what they say about man planning and God laughing.

Because we had raised the question the previous week of how big the baby was, our doctor ordered an ultrasound for this week's visit. The doctor saw that the baby was undersized, only about three pounds, and was not getting the proper nutrients. Since we were already at 36 weeks, the doctor said it was best to just deliver the baby that day. I freely admit that I went into a panic, imagining all the worst case scenarios. Even more important than our doctor and the neonatal pediatrician assuring us that our baby would be fine in the long run, it was Mrs. Zwicker's calm that brought me back from the ledge. She's the greatest.

Before I knew it, Mrs. Zwicker went into pre-op while I went into another room to don my best surgical gear for the impending c-section. Once in the operating room, I sat with Mrs. Zwicker, holding her hand and telling her how wonderful she was. Soon enough, the doctor told me to stand and look over the curtain to see our baby enter this world. I know that billions of others have had the pleasure of witnessing such a sight, but I cannot imagine anything more amazing than seeing one's own child literally emerge from its mother. Seeing our baby's head, then shoulders, then torso and finally legs and feet, is something that I will never forget. With all the blood and the way it was facing, not to mention the tears of joy in my eyes, I could not tell until our doctor declared its gender that we had a daughter. Mrs. Zwicker said through the past nine months that our baby was a girl. Sure enough, she was correct once again, and she wasted no time in telling me right there, "I told you so."

After the staff took her to the side and cleaned her and did whatever else they do when a baby is first born, I then got to hold my daughter, right next to Mrs. Zwicker's head. As the doctor told us earlier that day, it was a very good sign that we got to stay with our daughter for a good ten minutes or so. At least I think that's how long it was. I'm usually pretty good at keeping track of time without a clock but I was totally lost in the glory of the moment. By the way, I learned later that the time of birth was 2:25.

While Mrs. Zwicker was recuperating, I went upstairs to the neo-natal intensive care unit (pronounced "nik-you" by those in the know) to see our baby girl. She was long and lean, sixteen inches and a tad under three pounds to be exact, but otherwise healthy. She also had a full head of blonde hair. Okay, I will now pause so you can make your "she already has more hair than you do" cracks.

Mrs. Zwicker and I originally planned, if we were to have a girl, on naming her at a siyyum that NoahDaddy and I would make on our impending conclusion of Tractate Moed Katan. Well, with our daughter being a few weeks from going home so she could gain weight first, not to mention NoahDaddy's chronic absences from learning, we decided to just name her the next morning. We still plan on having the siyyum, at which point I will expound on whether one can console someone during the month after the loss of a wife if the widower has already remarried.

The next morning at shul, I gave our little girl her Hebrew name, Chava Emunah. Chava was Mrs. Zwicker's grandmother while Emunah is a name we just liked because it embodied the faith we did our best to maintain while trying to have a child. That same morning we announced the English name, Emma Faye. Both names come from Mrs. Zwicker's grandmothers.

The last few days have been an emotional roller coaster. There is nothing as amazing as seeing and holding our beautiful little Emma. On Friday night, Mrs. Zwicker and I each placed our hands on Emma's head and, with tears in our eyes, blessed her, asking that she follow in our Jewish foremothers' footsteps. On Shabbat afternoon, notwithstanding my less than stellar voice, I soothed Emma by singing to her and then learning the weekly Torah portion next to her incubator. I made sure she heard the part about honoring one's mother and father. Despite all of those and other moments, it has been to tough to leave her in the NICU. We cannot wait until Emma comes home with us for good.

Here is a picture of Emma at one day old in my arms. I'll try to post more pictures soon.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Imus-Kennedy or Condit?

This past weekend, the only story on the news was the Don Imus imbroglio. Among the various discussions on op-ed pages and the Sunday morning talk shows, including on ESPN, was what does the future hold for the unemployed Imus. Is his career really done or does he just get a time-out for a year or two before getting a new gig on satellite radio, like Opie & Anthony? All of a sudden, with the tragedy at Virginia Tech yesterday, the Imus story is officially yesterday's news. The question, though, remains. History is not necessarily an indication, as the stories of Ted Kennedy and Gary Condit reveal, but it will be interesting to see whether, as cynical as it sounds, Don Imus can now get some breathing room.

On July 18, 1969, Ted Kennedy was in his first full term as a United States Senator. He was driving home from a party with Mary Jo Kopechne, a campaign worker, on Martha's Vineyard. For reasons known only to him, Kennedy's car drove into a pond. Kennedy was able to escape but Kopechne was not so fortunate. She drowned. Legitimate questions regarding Kennedy's culpability in Kopechne's death arose immediately. Just a few days later though, Neil Armstrong took his giant leap for mankind and Kennedy's connection to Kopechne became much less important. While the questions regarding Kopechne's death still abound today and likely have prevented Kennedy from ever mounting a serious presidential bid, there is no doubt that he has risen to great heights in American politics. Historians and commentators have long speculated whether Kennedy's career could have survived without the overshadowing the Kopechne incident received from the moon landing.

On April 30, 2001, United States Congressman Gary Condit was in his sixth term when congressional intern Chandra Levy disappeared. During the investigation into her absence, word that Levy and Condit were having an affair surfaced. He immediately became a suspect, if not in the eyes of the police, then at least in the media. While he never faced any charges, Condit's career was effectively done. The media feeding frenzy may have lasted longer than four months had the 9/11 attacks not occurred. On that fateful morning, Condit immediately became nothing more than a footnote in the history books.

This is not to suggest in any way that Don Imus was happy to see the Virginia Tech massacre occur. I am also in no way equating Kopechne or Levy's death with Imus' statements. I am also in no way equating the moon landing and/or 9/11 with the Virginia Tech massacre. It just raises the question of what effect, if any, it will have on Imus' career. Time will tell.

Monday, April 16, 2007

A Jew Walks Into A Bar

I am proud to announce that I passed the Florida bar examination. Getting the news wasn't as memorable as when I learned of passing Michigan over twelve years ago, when I found the important letter in the mailbox and literally opened and read it standing by the curb in the rain. The news also didn't come with as much anxiety since I would still have a job regardless of the results. Even so, it's great news.

The only drawback is that there is no other attorney in Florida who shares my first and last name, thereby preventing me from blaming my indiscretions on someone else.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Pot Meet Kettle, Part Two

If Al Sharpton is good at one thing, besides for his being a shameless huckster in the race business, it's creating sympathy for someone who doesn't otherwise deserve it. When Don Imus' "nappy headed hos" flap first erupted, I didn't really give it much thought. After all, I was never a fan of his. While living in New York, I was partial to Howard Stern. Since returning to Detroit, my morning talk show favorite has been Drew & Mike. Imus just never interested me. He always struck me as angry and mocking. The controversy that he created therefore didn't really concern me too much.

That was before Sharpton once again assumed the position of father confessor for all Americans of color. As I have previously written on the Zlog here, Sharpton repeatedly gets a pass on his own virulent racism. In fact, Sharpton's racist past is much more injurious to others than Imus' recent comment. Sharpton's actions have led to deaths and the irreversible trashing of good people's reputations. On the other hand, I doubt that there were many people who now think any worse of black women in general and Rutgers basketball players in particular than they did before Imus opened his big mouth.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Post-Passover Ramblings

-On the second night of Passover, Mrs. Zwicker and I started counting not just the Omer but also the countdown to the scheduled arrival of Baby Zwicker. While at the in-laws' place this past weekend, we started discussing the custom of expectant fathers opening the Aron Hakodesh in the last month of pregnancy. When Mother-in-law asked for the reason behind the custom and I explained that it's supposed to be an omen for a easy opening through which the baby can exit, her look and reaction-"that's quite the visual"-made us laugh. We quickly moved to a new topic.

(Spoiler alert for the next paragraph)

-While "24" dragged a little after a strong start to the season, the show has definitely gotten its mojo back. On the other hand, I will not be happy if the rest of the season revolves around saving Audrey. I think I speak for most "24" fans when I say that we all knew she was alive but wish otherwise. My theory is that the United States gave Audrey to the Chinese as security and bait for Jack's return once his mission was complete. Now that Jack has secured the remaining missiles, he has to risk returning to a Chinese prison if he wants to rescue Audrey.

-Mrs. Zwicker and I caught "Reign Over Me" over the recent holiday. We gave it all four thumbs up. As I have previously written, Adam Sandler can do drama, although his uncanny resemblance to mid-80's Bob Dylan was a little distracting. I wonder if it was intentional. Anyway, Sandler was great, as was Don Cheadle, which is no surprise.

-It is utterly ridiculous that the Toronto Blue Jays pulled the below ad starring Frank Thomas. Apparently, people thought it promoted child abuse. The ad is simply hilarious. Someone who beats a kid because of this commercial is like, according to Dennis Miller, the teenagers who supposedly committed suicide in the 1980's after listening to heavy metal music. If someone takes his life because of anything Ozzy Osbourne has to say, that person is probably so far over the edge already anyway.

Friday, March 30, 2007

The Awesome Power of MNFBBQ

While NoahDaddy did a pretty good job in summarizing another joyous MNFBBQ meeting, he missed a key component. During our most recent soiree, Gil mentioned that he had a meeting at YIOP that evening at 10:30. You may be asking yourself why any meeting would start so late. Well, there is only answer and it is "MNFBBQ."

A few years ago, when NoahDaddy and I were both on the YIOP executive board, the president told us that he had scheduled a meeting for us for the following Monday night at 9:00. NoahDaddy and I immediately both said that we would not attend because it conflicted with the MNFBBQ and we had our priorities. The president fully understood and never scheduled another Monday night meeting. We knew then just how revered the MNFBBQ was.

No Waitress, however, taught us the other night the level of respect that others understandably have for the MNFBBQ. Here he was, part of a group that was meeting to discuss our rabbi's contract and time was of the essence. Nothing, however, was more essential to No Waitress than attending the MNFBBQ. (My attendance has been far from perfect lately and I therefore give No Waitress extra props for taking his stand.) No Waitress' fellow committee members fully understood and thus agreed to not schedule the meeting until 10:30 at night. As it was, No Waitress was still at Stale Bun's house at 10:40 when his cell phone rang, as always. The caller wanted to know when they could expect No Waitress to attend the meeting.

After we all appreciated yet one more sign of the MNFBBQ's awesomeness, we engaged in a discussion of just how great is the respect we have rightfully earned. We had questions. If an MNFBBQ meeting were to occur on Yom Kippur, would the entire holiday be rescheduled or would there just be an allowance for us to eat that night? Should we now reconsider our longstanding policy of not meeting on Passover since the buns are an essential part of MNFBBQ, except when Blackjack gets to them? Feel free to offer your own questions and comments. While the MNFBBQ's membership is exclusive, we are always open to receiving fan mail.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Amazing Finish

For all the buzz about the NCAA Division I tournament, people forget that there are other college tournaments. Courtesy of DeadSpin comes this finish, from the Division II tournament championship is one of the best ending to any sporting event ever. Enjoy.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

High Art

I was shocked and dismayed this morning to read in this story that the Cincinnati Symphony & Pops Orchestra was cancelling an appearance that the Dukes of Hazzard themed program that the television show's stars, John Schneider and Tom Wopat, were to make. The cancellation was because "some in the community found the show racist and offensive." This story strikes a chord with me, not because I have any great affinity towards the show, but because a well-respected artistic institution was going to have a Dukes of Hazzard themed program in the first place. What's next, The Metropolitan Opera doing a Gomer Pyle set?

Friday, March 16, 2007

Stay Classy Zlog Readers

To my legion of fans, I must apologize for my paucity of postings as of late. Before the bar exam, I was just too busy with work and studying to post. I am still quite busy at work (O's fan-ixnay on the ournamenttay) but, more importantly, I just haven't had much to say or share. I hope to rejoin the world of active blogging soon. Meanwhile, enjoy this 1970's commercial for a Cleveland news show. Besides its own entertainment value, it makes me appreciate just how well "Anchorman-The Legend of Ron Burgundy" nailed it.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

A Purim Thought

On this day of Purim, when we celebrate the Jewish people's salvation from an enemy that sought to destroy us, an incident that occurred last week has really stuck with me. One of the commandments surrounding this holiday is the requirement to eradicate Amalek. This involves not just physically fighting mortal men who want to end the Jewish people but also battling the evil within us.

Last week, while waiting before one of the sections of the Florida bar examination, I was talking to the young Jewish woman sitting behind me. We were discussing children, her thirteen month old boy and the Baby Zwicker that will arrive shortly and healthy, God willing. The woman, Julie, said that her son has, in her words, the coolest Hebrew name, Zev. Upon my asking, she said that she didn't know his Hebrew middle name. I found her ignorance to be very sad. Julie is not totally assimilated. She is active in her reform temple and is even a Sunday school teacher there. Also, her son is only thirteen months old, barely a year removed from his naming.

In this day and age in the United States, there is not much reason to fear the Jewish people's physical safety. Of the individuals seeking the major party nominations for president next year, there is none whose views on domestic Judaism concern me one way or the other. (Israel, of course, is another story and a post for another day.) What does concern me, and I hardly think I'm alone, about the future of Judaism in this country is the assimilation and ignorance that threaten so many Jews. During yesterday's reading of the commandment to destroy Amalek, I thought of Julie. If she doesn't even know her son's Jewish middle name, what kind of future as a Jew does it promise him? What kind of future awaits so many others?

The war to regain our own people is like many other great conflicts, whether physical or spiritual. While there may be one decisive tipping point in any war, most wars are won and lost through many battles. Some battles are large but most are small and quick. The key is to fight every one of them. In the war against assimilation and ignorance, we must be ever vigilant to show those not as fortunate in Jewish education just how beautiful our religion is. Whether it is inviting someone to a religious event that he or she would not otherwise attend or discussing even a few words of Torah, the opportunities for us to fight this war are endless. It is up to us to seize the opportunities.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Begging For Relevance

One has to wonder what Jesse Jackson thinks of Barack Obama. On the one hand, assuming he really believes in the advancement of black people, Jackson must be ecstatic that Obama has a real chance at a major party's presidential nomination. On the other hand, Jackson must hate that it's Obama and not the good reverend himself in that position. Even more, Obama has gotten where he is without repeatedely playing the race card, much unlike Jackson and Al Sharpton.

Today's Variety online edition (I cannot believe that I am citing the entertainment trade journal for the second day in a row) is reporting that Jackson is planning a conference in April to discuss the supposed dearth of blacks in the movie industry. Jackson's announcement, coming just days before this Sunday's Oscar awards ceremony, is pretty pathetic. For example, Jackson doesn't think it's enough that five of the twenty, or 25%, of actors nominated this year are black and that three of the four winners could very well be black despite the 2000 United States census showing that 12.3% of Americans are black. Jackson also thinks that whites, who constituted 75.1% of the 2000 United States population, are overrepresented in the 69% of roles that he alleges are reserved for white actors. As an aside, I have no idea where Jackson gets that 69% figure or whether there is any such quota for any race in Hollywood.

My question for Jackson is how much will be enough? I am in no way suggesting that any one group should have a maximum quota, or a minimum quota for that matter, whether it's for jobs, education or whatnot. At the same time, this is just one more example of Jackson playing the race card because that's the all he has in his arsenal.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The Threat Of Israel

While I don't take what Variety reports as the gospel on politics, this statement by John Edwards, which he reportedly made at a recent Hollywood gathering, is pretty alarming:

"Perhaps the greatest short-term threat to world peace, Edwards remarked, was the possibility that Israel would bomb Iran's nuclear facilities."

As Jim Geraghty writes over at the Hillary Spot, "Really? Israel is the biggest threat? Not Ahmedinijad? Not al-Qaeda? Not a coup attempt in Pakistan? Not a complete breakdown in Iraq drawing in the Saudis, Turks, and Iranians?"

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Yet One More Reason MNFBBQ Is For Men Only

Sorry for the light posting lately but I have the Florida bar exam in two weeks. Studying, along with trying to keep the business running smoothly, really eats into the important things in life. Anyway, I had to post this article that shows that barbecuing is a man's game.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

24 Reflecting Reality

I once heard someone joke that not all Jews are dentists but all dentists are Jews. That joke always comes to my mind when I hear Muslim groups complain about their religion's depiction as violent and terroristic. It is therefore refreshing to see this morning's Wall Street Journal carry an opinion piece by Emilio Karim Dabul on the great television show "24."

For those not sadly not familiar, each season of "24" takes place, in 24 one hour episodes, in real time over the course of a single day. The focus of the show is Jack Bauer and the government agency for which he works, the Counter Terrorism Unit. As his agency's name indicates, Bauer fights terrorism. Rather than skirt around the hard reality of who is committing nearly all of the world's terrorist actions, the show's villains have often been Muslim.

Dabul's article takes a stand against Muslims who complain about these depictions:

I am an Arab-American as well as a fan of "24." The two things are not mutually exclusive, despite what the Council on American Islamic Relations (CAIR) and other such groups have to say about this season's opening episodes possibly increasing anti-Muslim and anti-Arab prejudice in American society.
Most of the terrorists represented in "24" through the years have been Arab Muslims. Why? Well, probably because most terrorists today are, in fact, Arab Muslims. As a descendant of Syrian Muslims, I am very well aware that the majority of Muslims world-wide are peaceful, hard working, and law abiding. That still does not change the fact that the greatest terrorist threat to the U.S. today comes not from the ETA, the IRA, etc., but from one group: Islamic terrorists.


And this is what makes "24" a compelling drama every week. Instead of pretending Islamic terrorists don't exist, the show presents frighteningly real worst-case scenarios perpetrated by Osama bin Laden's followers. So CAIR thinks it's over the top for the terrorists in "24" to blow up Los Angeles with a nuke? Please, if bin Laden and his crew had nukes, most of us would be way too dead to argue over such points.

Read the whole thing here.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Kos Readers Down On Hillary

The Daily Kos, one of the most popular liberal blogs, is running a poll asking its readers who is their favorite to be the Democratic Party's 2008 candidate. Here are the current results:

Kucinich
662 votes - 4 %
Obama
3842 votes - 25 %
Gravel
73 votes - 0 %
Richardson
985 votes - 6 %
Clinton
599 votes - 3 %
Clark
2239 votes - 14 %
Biden
89 votes - 0 %
Dodd
72 votes - 0 %
Vilsack
201 votes - 1 %
Edwards
4070 votes - 26 %
Other
1300 votes - 8 %
No Freakin' Clue
1011 votes - 6 %


These results are obviously static, as of this writing. The link to the ever-changing results is here.

It is not so surprising that John Edwards and Barack Obama lead the field. Neither is it surprising that Wesley Clark, he of the recent "New York money people" comment, is running third. The amazing thing here is that Hillary Clinton is in sixth place, trailing Bill Richardson and even Dennis Kucinich.

Having Edwards, Obama, Clark and Richardson lead her in such a poll is one thing. All four are viable, at least in the short term. No matter how unscientific this poll is, this poll's participants choice of Kucinich, the latter of whom has not made any major strides since being a marginal candidate for the 2004 nomination, over Hillary raises a question. Do Hillary's constituents dislike her that much or is the poll just an exercise in wishful thinking?

Spiders On Drugs

Educational to the very end.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Classic Ad

With last night's Super Bowl bereft of any really memorable commercials, let's revisit this classic.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Redemption

It's been a scary few weeks. Following the debacle that was the last meeting of MNFBBQ, the pressure was on me to bring the boys back from the brink. I've been wondering what I could do to return our storied organization back to glory. After many sleepless nights (don't listen to Mrs. Zwicker with that garbage about me being out like a light), an epiphany came to me in the form of a question-what would Brian Boitano do?

Brian Boitano would break out the big Roumanian hot dogs and grill despite the freezing temperatures and falling snow. Brian Boitano would make chili. Brian Boitano would serve pigs in blankets and curly fries. Brian Boitano would lock the dogs away in the guest bedroom, so they wouldn't steal the hot dog buns or bother the guests. Most paramount, Brian Boitano would not show anything resembling "Brokeback Mountain." Brian Boitano would instead show a film featuring roughly drawn cartoon characters and song and dance and dirty words and the first Oscar-nominated performance in MNFBBQ history. Oh, wait a minute, "Brokeback Mountain" got some nods. Forget that Oscar thing, not important. I wouldn't say that it was the greatest MNFBBQ ever. At the same time, our long national nightmare is over. In short, I feel super, thanks for asking. Of course, Gabi hosts next.

I should add that Gabi came to Casa Zwicker after everyone else had left and I had put away the food. He had valiantly tried to make it for at least part of the meeting by charging off the plane and racing, O.J.-like, without the killing of his ex-wife and a Jewish guy, through the airport to get here. Alas, it was not to be. Fortunately, Gabi accepted with grace the fact that his appearing at a host's house after the guests had left and the table was cleared would not count as attendance. Air, I hope you're taking notes.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Shameful

Scott W. Johnson (who writes for the excellent Power Line blog) has an article at the Weekly Standard's website on how Yasser Arafat literally got away with murder, of an American ambassador, with the State Department's knowledge. Through seven different presidential administrations, Republican and Democratic alike, the State Department had abundant evidence of the following:

Twenty years before he joined Bill Clinton and Yitzhak Rabin in Washington for that famous handshake--and proceeded to become Clinton's most frequent foreign guest at the White House--Yasser Arafat planned and directed the murder of an American ambassador and his deputy chief of mission. From the first moment of the deadly operation, which took place in Khartoum on March 1, 1973, the State Department possessed direct evidence of Arafat's responsibility, yet neither the State Department nor any other government agency made public its knowledge. Indeed, as recently as the summer of 2002, the State Department denied that such evidence existed. Across seven administrations, the State Department hewed to silence and denial.

After some exhaustive reporting, Johnson finishes, very aptly, with this:

Speaking in a 2003 interview from the perspective of an average citizen who was also a firsthand witness to a most significant piece of this tortured history, former NSA analyst Welsh may appropriately be given the last word, at least for the moment: "There are limits to which foreign policy issues should require a man to lower himself. Shaking the hand of a murderer of a U.S. ambassador is such a case. Any peace based upon that hand is a delusion."

Click here for the whole story.

Really Wrong Number

When I practiced criminal defense law, there were clients for whom I felt sympathy because their arrests stemmed not from good detective work but from bad luck or karma or whatever you want to call it. I certainly wasn't rooting for people to violate laws with impunity but it just sometimes seemed unfair when a good criminal was caught despite a certain level of professionalism, for lack of a better word.

One such criminal, albeit not a client of mine, who gets some sympathy from me this morning is Marvin Lamar McKiver. According to this story, McKiver, who lives in Bladen County, North Carolina, called someone to arrange a drug deal. Unbeknownst to McKiven, he dialed a wrong number. The person on the other end of the line was the local chief of police. Needless to say, McKiven is now in jail.

Via FARK.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

How To Create Blog Traffic

Ken Levine, a baseball announcer who has also worked on various popular television shows over the years as a writer, director and producer, experimented with a unique way to bring traffic to his blog. Check it out here. As his Sitemeter page indicates, his experiment worked. Pretty cool.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Man Of The Year

After facing well deserved ridicule for naming You as Person of the Year, the Time Magazine editorial board can breathe easy for the next eleven months. The identity of the most important person in 2006 has become obvious. No man means more to society than David Rafner.

You may not know his name but you certainly know his accomplishment and how much it means to us all. Rafner, while working for Honeywell in 1985, developed the idea for the DVR, better known as TiVo. As a cousin of mine said two years ago, "There are two people in this world-those who have TiVo and those who should have TiVo."

Never has Rafner's technological brainchild been more valuable than today. After a riveting and literally explosive four-hour debut last week, "24" is back for more, tonight at 9:00. That happens to be the same time that the excellent "Heroes" returns from hiatus. Not being one given to hyperbole, I can honestly say that I cannot remember there ever being two such good shows opposing each other.

Tonight, unless he cancels on me once again, I will be learning with Noah Daddy at 8:00, which means I won't get home until a few minutes after 9:00. In the days of yore, pre-2005, that would mean that Mrs. Zwicker and I would have had to run two different video recorders in order to tape both shows. We would then have to wait until the shows ended to start watching them. Thanks to the great David Rafner though, that won't be necessary. We can start watching one and, by skipping commercials, finish one on time and then watch the other. The only question now is which to watch first.