Redemption

It's been a scary few weeks. Following the debacle that was the last meeting of MNFBBQ, the pressure was on me to bring the boys back from the brink. I've been wondering what I could do to return our storied organization back to glory. After many sleepless nights (don't listen to Mrs. Zwicker with that garbage about me being out like a light), an epiphany came to me in the form of a question-what would Brian Boitano do?

Brian Boitano would break out the big Roumanian hot dogs and grill despite the freezing temperatures and falling snow. Brian Boitano would make chili. Brian Boitano would serve pigs in blankets and curly fries. Brian Boitano would lock the dogs away in the guest bedroom, so they wouldn't steal the hot dog buns or bother the guests. Most paramount, Brian Boitano would not show anything resembling "Brokeback Mountain." Brian Boitano would instead show a film featuring roughly drawn cartoon characters and song and dance and dirty words and the first Oscar-nominated performance in MNFBBQ history. Oh, wait a minute, "Brokeback Mountain" got some nods. Forget that Oscar thing, not important. I wouldn't say that it was the greatest MNFBBQ ever. At the same time, our long national nightmare is over. In short, I feel super, thanks for asking. Of course, Gabi hosts next.

I should add that Gabi came to Casa Zwicker after everyone else had left and I had put away the food. He had valiantly tried to make it for at least part of the meeting by charging off the plane and racing, O.J.-like, without the killing of his ex-wife and a Jewish guy, through the airport to get here. Alas, it was not to be. Fortunately, Gabi accepted with grace the fact that his appearing at a host's house after the guests had left and the table was cleared would not count as attendance. Air, I hope you're taking notes.