I know, I know, the title of this post really caught your attention. You must be thinking that you are about to read some baseless, heated rhetoric. Hear me out though and you will soon agree with my conclusion, which is utterly logical and empirical. This morning's Detroit Free Press had a little blurb about the upcoming Ann Arbor Folk Festival. In addition to the great and underrated Ben Folds, the lineup has some other noteworthy performers, like Toad the Wet Sprocket, Emmylou Harris and Jill Jack, all of whom Mrs. Zwicker and I would love to see perform.
Alas, being Jewish Sabbath observers, we cannot attend most of the festival because it will be on a Friday and Saturday night. In other words, we are suffering because we are Jews. Who is causing this suffering? Think about it. Ann Arbor, which, in case you couldn't guess on your own from the festival's title, is hosting the musical event. Ann Arbor is also a major hotbed of liberalism. It is therefore quite reasonable to conclude that liberals scheduled the festival. Liberals are therefore causing Jews suffering. Ergo, liberals are anti-Semites. Case closed.