If It's Thursday, It Must Be The Motor City

In the past week and a half, I have gone to Nashville and back twice. The first leg of my odyssey was driving to Music City, via Louisville, with Lesley. She was (and still is as I type) a vendor at the Family, Career and Community Leaders of America (formerly known as the Future Homemakers of America) conference. We went a few days early for a little vacation.

We were both pleasantly surprised at how nice a city it is. Of course, part of our appreciation comes from our being big country music fans. As apparently every Nashville visitor must do, we toured the Country Music Hall of Fame, which was especially cool with its special exhibit on Ray Charles. Being the fan that I am, there was little about the Genius that I didn't already know, but it was still pretty neat to see some of the photos, artifacts, videos, and especially his tuxedos. For anybody who questions whether Ray Charles was actually blind, they only need look at some of the clothing he wore to cast aside any doubts.

In the evenings, we went downtown and just walked. Most of the bars had their doors open so you could hear the live bands playing inside. The bars into which we stopped had some really great music. The country karaoke bar was, however, a mixed bag. After hearing some typical karaoke (in other words, bad), I was about to volunteer my singing services (I was leaning towards "Friends In Low Places", which I assume is a very cliched selection in that part of the country, but what the heck), but hearing some singers who were actually good nixed that notion. The drunk redneck girl who seethed with Morrissette-like angst while singing "Jolene" was another story. We also went white water rafting on the Ocoee River, which served as the course for the 1996 Olympics kayak races. It was a lot of fun, even if I did take an unintentional dive into the water.

After a nice Shabbat and getting Lesley settled in at the Opryland Resort & Convention Center (it's really nice but, if you ever go there, take rations and some bread crumbs to leave a trail-you will get lost), I flew back home. Having a ton of frequent flyer miles and some slow time at work, I decided to fly back on Tuesday evening and so I could spend more time with Lesley and help her sell chocholate at the convention. I flew back again this morning.

Two other things. First, we went to nearby mall yesterday and saw "Superman Returns". It was very good, with Kevin Spacey's Lex Luthor being the best comic book bad guy I've seen since Jack played the Joker. Of course, I'm sure that Noah Daddy can give a much more detailed analysis of the subject.

Second, this sign, which we once again passed on our way to Louisville, will always make me laugh.

Happy Slurpee Day

Since I will likely be on the road most of tomorrow's work day (court in Flint and then a possibly lengthy stop in Pontiac) and then am flying back to Nashville (when I get a chance, I will report on the highlights of a city that pleasantly surprised us), I want to wish all of you in advance a happy 7/11 tomorrow. For those wishing to participate in this festive day, which should really be a national holiday, remember that you can get a free cup of what I like to call the nectar of the gods at your local 7-11 establishment tomorrow. For those of you having doubts about our country's future, it's comforting to know that these youths are fighting the good fight for us all. You can also read a little about the Slurpee, including its kosher status, over at Wikipedia.

Nothing Says Independence Day Like A Paternity Action

Today, like just about any other work day, I have been listening to Yahoo Radio for background music. I usually listen to my own station, which plays songs based on the ratings I have given to thousands of songs, artists and albums. In fact, if you ever want to listen to it, it's called Zwickeroo.

I sometimes opt for one of the dozens of stations that Yahoo has. You can choose a particular genre, mood or era. Today being the day before Independence Day, I chose the special July 4 station. I heard the expected fare, starting with John Cougar Mellencamp's "ROCK In The USA". Throughout the next few hours, the station played some good John Phillip Sousa marches, Ray Charles' classic version of "America the Beautiful" and songs from artists like the Beach Boys and Chuck Berry that are as American as they come.

Then came "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson. I know that most of these songs get into a particular playlist by a computer picking them based on similarities to other songs or artists. I still found this selection hilarious. As just about anyone knows, the song is about a man, ostensibly portrayed by the King of all Freaks, facing a paternity action by a woman with whom he danced. There are many themes and topics that reflect American values. Other than Maury Povich, I cannot think of too many people in this country who find value in a woman accusing a man of being the father of her child. In retrospect, knowing what we know now about Wacko, the song is funny on any day of the year. On July 4, the song is even more absurd.

Draft Thoughts

My favorite sight at every NBA draft is the photo op of a seven footer and diminutive commissioner David Stern. It's too bad Manute Bol was only a fifth round pick, although we at least had the good fortune to see him be teammates with Muggsy Bogues on the Washington Bullets, which should be O's Fan's favorite team.
Someone should explain something to the people at ESPN who wrote and approved the draft factoids that scrolled across the screen over and over and over last night. When Adam Morrison of Gonzaga became the number three pick last night, he wasn't the highest pick from that school since John Stockton went to O's Fan's favorite team with the 16th pick in 1984. Morrison was just plain the highest draft pick in school history.

It was good to see the other day that New York Knicks owner James Dolan publicly gave Isiah Thomas an ultimatum of one year to make significant improvements in the team that Zeke ruined. If last night is any indication, the smiling assasin either doesn't take Dolan seriously or just doesn't know what the heck he's doing. After all, when the best props you get for a first round draft pick is Spike Lee calling it a sleeper pick while holding back the laughter, it's not too soon to be updating that resume. Then again, Thomas might want to consider totally omitting his Knicks' tenure from his CV.

The Final Inspection

The Marine stood and faced God,

Which must always come to pass.

He hoped his shoes were shining,

Just as brightly as his brass.


"Step forward now, Marine,

How shall I deal with you?

Have you always turned the other cheek?

To My Church have you been true?"


The soldier squared his shoulders and said,

"No, Lord, I guess I ain't.

Because those of us who carry guns,

Can't always be a saint.


I've had to work most Sundays,

And at times my talk was tough.

And sometimes I've been violent,

Because the world is awfully rough.


But, I never took a penny,

That wasn't mine to keep...

Though I worked a lot of overtime,

When the bills got just too steep.


And I never passed a cry for help,

Though at times I shook with fear.

And sometimes, God, forgive me,

I've wept unmanly tears.


I know I don't deserve a place,

Among the people here.

They never wanted me around,

Except to calm their fears.


If you've a place for me here, Lord,

It needn't be so grand.

I never expected or had too much,

But if you don't, I'll understand.


There was a silence all around the throne,

Where the saints had often trod.

As the Marine waited quietly,

For the judgment of his God.


"Step forward now, you Marine,

You've borne your burdens well.

Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,

You've done your time in Hell."

~Author Unknown~

It's the Soldier, not the reporter
Who has given us the freedom of the press.

It's the Soldier, not the poet,
Who has given us the freedom of speech.

It's the Soldier, not the politicians
That ensures our right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

It's the Soldier who salutes the flag,
Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag.

I Am The Flash

Which Superhero are you?

Garbage, Garbage, Garbage, Garbage, Garbage Chameleon

Boy George ordered to Sanitation Dept.
Some stories are just so perfect that I cannot think of anything to write to make it any more humorous or interesting than it already it is.

Follow up: My partner asked why I find this story so amusing. After all, people with talent levels much greater than that of Boy George get in trouble all the time. I guess what makes this story so darn funny is the mental image I have of Boy George, in all his 80's drag regalia, picking up trash on the Great Lawn in Central Park.

Report: Headline Writer Can't Read

This morning I read online of the attack by terrorists who snuck underneath a Gaza border crossing and killed two Israeli soldiers and kidnapped another. The article very openly stated that Hamas took credit for the attack.

I just went on my computer again to see if anything, besides another great Tigers victory, happened today. I saw the following headline on Yahoo News: "Israel Blames Hamas for deadly attack". I immediately and naturally feared that another attack occurred since this morning. Once I read the article, I realized that it was the same attack. The article, from the Associated Press, of course accurately reports that Hamas took credit. This begs the question-Why the misleading headline? Writing that someone blames another implies that the accused's guilt is in question. There is no question here.

Parent, Sue Thine Own Self

According to this article, a fourteen year old girl and her mother are suing MySpace.com. They allege that the website is responsible for the girl's sexual assault at the hands of nineteen year old man she met online. The plaintiffs' attorney is demanding that the company pay his clients one percent of its worth. Even if the company is only worth one dollar, that payment would be too much.

End Of An Aira

Last night we had another meeting of the MNFBBQ. While each and every MNFBBQ gathering is special, even when the movie is "White Chicks" , last night's event carried special significance. It was Air's last get together with the MNFBBQ, the great organization that he co-founded, before his and Veev's imminent aliyah. With my going to Louisville this coming weekend and him leaving town next week, it was also probably the last time we will see each other before either we go to Israel or he comes back to visit and, of course, welcomes me to our shul.

Air and I exchanged a very brief man-hug afterwards. That's the extent of the sentimentality I will express, but I do want to say how much I admire the decision he and his family are making. As Macabee said the other night at the bon voyage barbecue, making aliyah is not an easy decision to make and an even harder one to execute. Aliyah is obviously an ideal of many of ours, yet most of us find a way to justify delaying it. At the same time though, it means leaving what you call home and all your friends and family for a new life, filled with all its uncertainties, six thousand miles away. For many, it means changing lifestyles both culturally and economically.

It's much easier said than done. Air and Veev aren't just saying they want to make aliyah. They're doing it. It will mean learning to read and speak Hebrew fluently, beyond "ani iparon," but they're doing it. It will mean finding new jobs, but they're doing it. It will mean creating a new social network, but they're doing it. Most important, it will mean that Air will have to wake up at 3:30 every fourth Tuesday morning to barbecue, but they're doing it. We all talk about it but they're doing it. We wish them only the best.

As an aside, shame, shame, shame on Jerry for making Air's last MNFBBQ meeting a viewing of "Date Movie." Before meeting Lesley, I had gone on a handful of dates. Some were great and some were painful, but none matched the mind numbing and at times unbearable idiocy of "Date Movie". It wasn't quite "White Chicks", but it was way too close for comfort. The only saving grace for the evening, besides the Romanian hot dogs and burgers, was that the movie was thankfully short and we were able to watch the end of yet another Tigers' victory and the Carolina Hurricanes' Stanley Cup clincher.

This Land Is My Land, This Land's Not Your Land

It would seem to be common sense that if you own land and someone used that land without paying rent, you would have the right to evict that person with no questions asked. While you and I may think so, Hollywood has-beens like Danny Glover and Darryl Hannah disagree. According to this story in CNN, Los Angeles property owner Ralph Horowitz is not acting morally in asserting his property rights.

Horowitz has allowed some people to grow a garden on fourteen acres of his land in Los Angeles for the past ten years or so. He has not charged any rent. He has instead been covering all the mortgage costs and taxes. Now Horowitz wants to make economic use of his property and build a warehouse. That, of course, requires removing the gardens. Horowitz went through the proper channels and obtained a court order of eviction, which is where Hannah and her crew enter the picture.

Hannah and others climbed into a tree on the property while others chained themselves to concrete filled barrels to protest Horowitz's evil. Hannah said that her stand was "principled" and "morally right." I don't know where Hannah learned her principles and morals, but they sure don't square with those of this country. In the United States of America, subject to certain rules, land owners have the right to decide who can use their property.

If Hannah and the rest of her celebrity do-gooders had so much compassion for the displaced gardeners, they would have anted up the money to buy Horowitz's property for the market rate or some other land for the new gardens. Even better, I'm sure that Hannah has some space on her front lawn that people can use.

Drive-A-Thon 4

In case any of you have forgotten, and shame on you if you have, tomorrow is the fourth annual MNFBBQ Drive-A-Thon. While our valiant road warriors will be leaving at 5:30 a.m. for Chicago and returning later in the day with Burger Buddies and Romanian mean, I will resume my role as man on the ground at Burger Central. I, and hopefully Noah Daddy, will be blogging throughout the day at the official Drive-A-Thon website.

By the way, while it is too late to order meat, you can still make a donation to Hazon Yeshaya, Israel's largest food bank. Just get one of us a check made payable to the "Young Israel of Oak Park Charity Fund." Remember, this is Air's last Drive-A-Thon before making aliyah. Let's send him off in style.

Enjoy Your 72 Raisins

This morning, with Lesley away on business, I was able to turn on the television while getting dressed. I flipped to the news to hear cheering. When I looked at the television, I saw a press conference in Iraq. The cheering was from the press corps itself for the news that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was killed yesterday. The American media, retaining its supposed objectivity, sat in silence when President Bush briefed them a few hours later.

Regardless of whether you think going to war in Iraq was the right thing or how you assess the progress, or lack thereof, since it started, Zarqawi's death is a tremendous development. He was the number two man in al Qaeda, whose laundry list of terrorist activities is infamous. Those who oppose the war, whether from principle or simply due to hatred of everything Bush and/or Republican, are already pooh-poohing this Zarqawi's death as inconsequential. After all, they argue, there are still plenty of terrorists looking to kill us. That is true, but it overlooks a few major factors.

First, the members of any entity, whether a terrorist cell, private company or democracy, all suffer a certain amount of discouragement and lack of morale when the leader they admire and follow is killed. Second, it is already well known that his death was the result of good intelligence. In other words, someone with inside information assisted in the killing. You have to imagine that al Qaeda members will be constantly looking over their shoulders with a great deal of distraction. Third, imagine Israel taking the same approach to killing terrorist leaders that the naysayers are professing this morning.

In a somewhat related event, the USS Cole is redeploying to the Middle East today. For those who don't remember, certain wrongdoers attacked the Cole in 2000 while it was sitting in the Yemen port of Aden and killed seventeen American sailors. Every one of the top ten stories on Google News on the Cole label the perpetrators as generic "terrorists." Not one of the stories mentions that the terrorists were members of al Qaeda. People seem to forget that al Qaeda's attacks on American interests , including the Cole, and two American embassies, predated 9/11. This is an institutional failing of a basic tenet of journalism, to report the "five W's" of a story. One such W is Who, as in who the terrorists were. They are al Qaeda, whose membership roster is thankfully shorter by at least one very evil name this morning.

Just A Kid Trying To Get A Ball

Many teams' fans demonize someone they feel, correctly or not, ruined their team's chances for a championship and/or doomed the team to years of futility. Those fans would scream bloody murder if their team even contemplated having the villain play for them. While the Detroit Red Wings rebounded the next year to win the first of two consecutive Stanley Cups, the idea of Claude Lemiuex wearing the winged wheel became unimaginable forever once he laid that cheap shot on Kris Draper in the 1996 Western Conference Finals.

I therefore find the story of Jeffrey Maier so ironic. You see, Maier was a twelve years old New York Yankees fan whose father took him, also in 1996, to the House that Ruth Built to see the first game of the American League Championship Series between the home team and the Orioles.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, the Yankees were losing 4-3 when Derek Jeter, with a man on base, hit a deep fly ball to right field. Just as Orioles outfielder Tony Tarasco was about to catch the ball, young Mr. Maier reached over the fence to snag it himself and instead knocked it into the stands.

It was a clear case of fan interference, which meant that, since Tarasco most likely would have caught the ball but not for Maier's actions, umpire Rich Garcia should have ruled the play an out. Garcia instead called the play a home run, thereby making it a tie game.

The Yankees won the game on a Bernie Williams home run in the eleventh inning. The Orioles never recovered. The Yankees won the series four games to one and then the first of four World Series titles in five years. The Orioles, on the other hand, returned to the playoffs the following year before commencing a string of eight consecutive losing seasons. I know that you Tigers fans are probably thinking, "Eight seasons? Big whoop. Try thirteen." But that's not the point. Orioles fans never forgave Maier and even blamed him not only for the Orioles losing what he caused to be a tie game, but the rest of the series and the next decade.

Anyway, fast forward to 2006. Maier, now 22, just graduated from Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut, where he set the school record for career hits and finished with a .375 average. While he is not a sure thing to make the major leagues, one of the teams considering Maier is, you guessed it, the Baltimore Orioles. I'm sure that the team's followers, including Zwicker Blog reader O's Fan, have a few choice words on the subject, which I hope he will share with us.

Busted

The saga of Elijah/Norman appears to be over, at least as it touches on this community. Yesterday evening, undercover Southfield police arrested him when he was picking up dinner at one of the local kosher pizza shops.


Lesley and I, along with our neighbors and respective rabbis, had been deliberating whether to alert the authorities. By the way, while I have not finished reading it yet myself, you can read a great analysis of the halacha of reporting a Jew to secular authorities here. A few factors led us to the conclusion that we had to stop this guy. First, his fiancee, Bonnie, had left a threatening message on Anne's voicemail. Bonnie was rather upset that Anne and Anne's friend had been slandering Elijah/Norman's good name. Also, I pulled Elijah/Norman's arrest report from the Plymouth Township police department. His home invasion charge stemmed from breaking into an acquaintance's house with which he was familiar, specifically about where valuables were located. None of us wanted to risk coming home one day to find this guy in our house not knowing how violently he might react. The only thing deterring us was that, based on that voicemail and things Elijah/Norman said to other people, we thought he knew we were on to him and that he would just slink away. On the other hand, if we reported him, we had no idea how Bonnie, who has a severe case of bipolar disorder and probably had no idea what scum he was, would react.


Meanwhile, as we and our neighbors deliberated about reporting Elijah/Norman to his parole officer, merchants within the local Jewish community had been talking about this guy who was writing bad checks all over the place. The police told a neighbor who was at the arrest that they suspect him of defrauding, using bad checks and credit cards he ordered in Bonnie's name, stores all over the metropolitan Detroit area to the tune of $14,000. The one local establishment that Elijah/Norman had not cheated was the pizza store, but the owner, who remembered him, became aware yesterday morning of his spree. Yesterday afternoon, he called to place an order. The owner called the police, who sent undercover officers to arrest him. While another companion went into the store and the owner stalled her, police pulled Elijah/Norman from his car and arrested him. Bonnie apparently had a total meltdown. There is no indication whether Bonnie and the companion got their dinner.

Glad He's On Someone Else's Payroll

Air, friend, fellow blogger and, most importantly, co-MNFBBQ member, has been conspicuously absent from blogging duties lately. Some of us have worried that he might actually be working while at work. It was with great relief that I received an e-mail from Air today with a link to a most exciting website. That's right, the MNFBBQ now has its own website. While I have already posted it as one of my favorites on the right side of this site, you can get to it here.

Our Own Richard Kimble

This is a true story. Only the names have been changed, to protect the innocent and the guilty.

A few weeks ago, while walking to shul for mincha on Shabbat afternoon, I encountered our next door neighbor, Aaron, walking with Steven, his oldest son, age fourteen, and a guy who looked to be about my age, maybe a few years younger. Aaron introduced me to the stranger, Elijah, who said that he was living in downtown Detroit while attending University of Michigan law school. Elijah seemed kind of strange but I didn't think much about it afterwards.

Aaron told me the next day how he and his wife, Anne, came to host Elijah. Around Passover, a family with whom our neighbors are friends met Elijah in a local kosher grocery store. The wife and Elijah got to talking and she invited him to spend Shabbat with her family. A few weeks later, that family made a bar mitzvah, which was why Elijah and his fiancee stayed next door to us.

Last Wednesday, while I was still at work, Lesley answered a knock at the front door. She opened it to find Elijah and his fiancee, whom she had not met yet, asking to see our house, which we are selling. She asked who he was and he said that he had met me and was friends with our neighbors. She said the place was not totally clean but he said that it was not a big deal since he and his fiancee were both slobs. I arrived home just as Lesley finished giving them the tour. We sat and talked for a few minutes, during which Elijah said that they really wanted our house, either to rent, buy or a combination of both. I told him that I would seriously consider any offer.

I saw him again on Shabbat afternoon as he exited our neighbors' house, where he was again staying. He told me how he wanted to get together to make an offer. When he asked what I would be doing that night, I told him that I would be watching the Pistons game. When he tried to invite himself to watch it, I said I wasn't sure where I would be watching. I actually knew that I would watch it at home but had no desire to spend time with him socially, just to sell him my house. He seemed like a nice guy but very strange.

Yesterday, Lesley and I were watching television (we're watching the first season of "Lost", which is great) when Anne called. She told me that Elijah told her and Aaron during Shabbat that he served five years in prison for a drug conviction. The problem was that his name did not appear on the Michigan or federal department of corrections inmate search. There was someone, though, with the same last name but a different first name who looked awfully like Elijah. His first name was Norman. Instead of a drug conviction, Norman had done a few years for home invasion. Also, he is currently violating his parole. The violation went into the corrections system on April 18, 2006, right around the time the Norman/Elijah first met our neighbors' friend and started spending nearly every Shabbat and Sunday afternoon in the community.

We found a few other things. I ran both first names with the last name on a site my company uses to find people. There was no record of either name ever residing in Michigan. I also ran Norman/Elijah's last name on the University of Michigan student/faculty directory. Neither first name appears. When Anne told me that Norman/Elijah said that he attended Brown University for undergraduate, I called a friend who went there. My friend also found no record of either Norman or Elijah. Lastly, at least two local retail establishments have told Anne that Norman has bounced checks in the past week or two.

Needless to say, this raises serious questions and concerns in our minds. First and foremost, this guy has been throughout our entire house. He knows the layout as well as the fact that our dogs, for as intimidating as some might think, are very friendly and would not hurt a fly, even if one of them has been guilty of stealing and eating hot dog buns. We have obviously started locking our door at all times, even when we are home during the day and would normally otherwise leave it unlocked.

It also raises the question of whether, according to halacha, it would be appropriate for us to report this guy to the authorities. Last night I posed this question to our rabbi, who said that reporting would only be permissible if the guy is a threat to people. Not having seen his court file yet, I don't know whether he is a threat, but I intend to look into that tomorrow while downtown.

Of course, the real home invader might have been a one armed man whom Norman is trying to bring to justice.

Rest In Peace Skull Cracker

A character actor is one who makes a career of playing supporting roles. The audience usually knows a character actor as "Hey, it's that guy from...." Few character actors could hold a candle to Paul Gleason, who passed away this weekend.

You probably remember Gleason as Clarence Beeks in "Trading Places" or Richard Vernon in "The Breakfast Club" or Dwayne Robinson in "Die Hard". The bottom line is that you remember him. For a deserving retrospective on Gleason's career, click here.

Gay, Blind, What's The Difference?

Apparently there is little difference according to this newscaster.

Pot Meet Kettle

Al Sharpton has found a new cause in the upcoming Alabama Democratic party's gubernatorial primary race. One candidate denies the Holocaust while another advocates killing illegal immigrants to prevent them from entering and settling in the state. Sharpton wants the party to bar the two candidates from running. Sharpton's demand, while sounding all nice and good on its face, is preposterous.

Unless the candidates violate a particular rule or are ineligible for office, it would violate their constitutional rights to free speech, no matter how repugnant they are. Like it or not, it's a fact that even avowed racists can run for elected office. The most a political party can do is distance itself from and renounce the candidate, much like the Republican and Democratic parties did with Klansmen David Duke and Tom Metzger respectively. The party cannot, however, decide who can and cannot run.

Sharpton's demands ring especially hollow given his own history. With incidents like the Tawana Brawley hoax and Freddie's Fashion Mart riot and public references to Jews as "bloodsuckers" and "white interlopers" in his past and nary an apology, he lacks the moral authority to have any say on who else gets to run for office.

What About Hurricane Zwicker?

The World Meteorological Organization just released the following names for this year's hurricane:

Alberto
Beryl
Chris
Debby
Ernesto
Florence
Gordon
Helene
Isaac
Joyce
Kirk
Leslie
Michael
Nadine
Oscar
Patty
Rafael
Sandy
Tony
Valerie
William

Despite the misspelling, Lesley and I couldn't be prouder.

Talking Baseball

Some random thoughts on our national past time:


Last night, after coming home from our shul dinner and talking to Lesley, who is in Louisville for a funeral, my plan was to get to bed early. I couldn't get myself to go to sleep though because I wanted to watch the end of the White Sox-Twins game. I know the season is not even a quarter done and that the Tigers are a young team that has great long term potential but not necessarily staying power for this season. Nevertheless, I cannot help but follow on a daily basis not only our beloved Tigers but their pursuit of the pennant.

As I've previously written about Barry Bonds, I have no love for Mr. Big Head and his potential passing of Henry Aaron as the all time home run leader. Bonds' next swing could vault him past Babe Ruth for number two on the alltime list. Baseball analyst extraordinaire Peter Gammons has thankfully provided some perspective on the matter in an interview on ESPN Radio. I can't find the quote online but Gammons basically said that, in a few years, this will hopefully not be much of an issue. After all, Alex Rodriguez is speeding up the left lane of the record books and Albert Pujols look like he could easily lap them all.

Last week, former pitcher and current baseball announcer Rick Sutcliffe was in Petco Park with comedian Bill Murray to catch the Padres-Cardinals game. The producer for the local broadcast invited the obviously drunk Sutcliffe into the studio. I don't know what the producer was thinking, but he owes someone an apology. Sutcliffe was not there in an official capacity. In fact, it's pretty clear from watching and/or listening to the feed that Sutcliffe lacked most of his capacities. I must admit that when Joe Namath went live on the air that I found it somewhat amusing. For some reason, I just found it painful to listen to Sutcliffe. He is a good announcer and seemingly good man. He clearly didn't know what he was doing and just embarrassed himself and his family. Why nobody stopped him or, even worse, actively invited him to make a fool of himself, is beyond me.

Is it just me or is Kerry Wood always coming off the disabled list, entering the disabled list or spending time on the disabled list?

Are You Experienced?

This is an actual quote from the Detroit Lions regarding why the team doesn't have cheerleaders: We believe the game-day experience at Ford Field is one of the best in the NFL.

Missed Opportunity

Last night I went to see "Protocols of Zion" at the Detroit Jewish Film Festival. The movie is a documentary by Marc Levin. The idea for the file arose when Levin was riding in a New York City taxicab soon after September 11, 2001. His driver told him that no Jews died on that tragic day because a cabal of Jews were behind the plot and therefore told all other Jews to avoid the World Trade Center. The driver further told Levin that his source was the infamous "Protocols of the Elders of Zion," a notorious forgery of the Jewish blueprint to control the world. The conversation prompted Levin to make this film about he origins book's origins and how it still has a life here in America one hundred years after it originated.

I really looked forward to seeing the movie. I had heard great things about it and how it addressed a pressing topic. I wasn't looking for anyone to convince me that anti-Semitism is still alive. I was at the same time still hoping for something that would evoke some emotion. I unfortunately walked away with nothing but disappointment.

The main aspect that caused the movie to come up short was its choice of interview subjects. With a few exceptions, most of the people who believed in the forgery or some other form of widespread Jewish conspiracy were unsophisticated and not very articulate. A common one-word description in my mind was "thugs."

Levin obviously wanted to show how ignorant people can be in their anti-Semitism. Even so, the scenes where Levin interviewed a skinhead who runs a mail-order Nazi paraphenalia or a white separatist who hosts a radio talk show host and an anti-Semitic website, both of whom were very articulate albeit misguided, came across as much more chilling and alarming. If Levin wanted to really inspire his audience to action, which was clearly his goal since he doesn't even feign objectivity or detachment from the debate, someone like David Duke would have been much more effective than some twenty year olds standing on a street corner in Patterson, New Jersey. Levin instead took the easy route.

Levin also coasted on getting the Jewish angle. For example, in the beginning of the movie, Levin approached a seemingly very religious man on a Boro Park street an asked him whether he knew what the "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" was. Levin expressed his shock that this fellow Jew had never heard of it. Of course, Levin took the easy route by asking this question of a person who lives in a sheltered community.

At the end of the movie, Levin did some more "Jew on the street" interviews with attendees of New York City's Israel Day parade. Of all the people there, Levin featured a kippah-wearing man, with a Meir Kahane poster directly behind him, yelling that all Arabs are evil.

Meanwhile, Levin failed to feature Rabbi Marvin Hier, the founder and director of the acclaimed Simon Wiesenthal Center and one of the most effective and respected opponents of anti-Semitism. It's not as if Levin didn't have the opportunity to interview Rabbi Hier. After all, Levin interviewed Pastor Ted Haggard of the National Association of Evangelical Christians at the Wiesenthal Center. Throughout the interview, Rabbi Hier was standing just a few feet away in the background.

Besides the intellectual shortcuts, my other issue with the movie was the prominent role that Levin's father played in accompanying his son throughout the film. Levin starts his journey by going to his father's house. Prominently displayed on his father's wall is a poster of Che Guevera, Fidel Castro's strongman and a socialist and communist icon in his own right. Later in the movie, Levin's father tells how he became an atheist at a young age. His father is still an atheist. While I respect the paternal bond, Levin's message about confronting anti-Semitism rings somewhat hollow when his mentor and partner in this very movie holds view that are quite corrosive to the Jewish people's survival, both physically and spiritually.

Levin had a great premise from which to start. He sadly had no shortage of material to use. It's just too bad he chose poorly.

I'd Love To Change The World

This week's issue of Time has a list of the "100 men and women whose power, talent or moral example is transforming the world." The list contains some of the usual suspects, like President Bush, Pope Benedict, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Bill and Melinda Gates. (By the way, have you ever heard anyone refer to Melinda Gates as her own person and not just as part of the monolithic "Billandmelindagates"?) Love them or hate them, a number of the people on the list make a difference in the world.


Some of the people on the list though left me wondering. Take super model Tyra Banks, for example. There is no doubt that the woman is beautiful. She may also be both very nice and extremely professional, as fellow super model Heidi Klum writes in the essay that each of the list members gets. But does Tyra Banks really change the world in any way? If she were to die tomorrow, would the world outside her immediate circle of friends and associates really be that different?


The same goes for Reese Witherspoon, who is also on the list. Even before she won her recent Academy Award for "Walk The Line", the biography of the great Johnny Cash, I usually enjoyed her movies. However, I don't really see how she changes the world. If Reese Witherspoon were to have never existed, I just don't see how different the world would be.

Please don't accuse me of sexism just because the two examples I chose are female. I feel this way about actors and singers in general. There certainly are exceptions. I may not like all of George Clooney's politics, but he provokes discussion. I don't always agree with Bono's ideas about solving the world's woes, but he at least investigates the issues first hand and thoughtfully analyzes the relevant data and information. On the flip side, Charlie Sheen should be publicly analyzing and opining on nothing other than what inspired his masterful portrayal of Ricky Vaughn.

Revenge Of The Unoriginal

I'm a big fan of "Revenge of the Nerds", at least the original and not the little I have seen of the countless sequels on cable television. The original is even currently on the short list of movies I'm considering showing when I host MNFBBQ in a few weeks. That being said, it's ridiculous that a remake is reportedly coming soon.

Hollywood is almost totally devoid of originality. With a few exceptions, like Charlie Kaufman ("Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and "Being John Malkovich"), David Fincher ("Se7en" and "Panic Room") and M. Night Shyamalan ("The Sixth Sense" and "Unbreakable"), the movie industry seems full of writers and directors who are incapable of a new idea. Remaking "Revenge of the Nerds" is just one more example of copying a successful idea rather than having a new one.

Here is a list of the top ten grossing movies of 2005, with their "sources":

"Star Wars: Episode III"-sequel/prequel
"The Chronicles of Narnia"-book
"Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire"-book/sequel
"War of the Worlds"-remake
"King Kong"-remake (for the second time)
"The Wedding Crashers"-original
"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"-book/remake
"Batman Begins"-comic book/prequel
"Madagascar"-original
"Mr. & Mrs. Smith"-original

The movie industry questions why people aren't going to the theatre as often as in the past. Other entertainment options, like the Internet and higher quality home theater accessories, are certainly factors. So is the price. Lack of originality just may have something to do with it too.

Mix Of My Life

I'm a huge music fan. While I started with just classic rock, my tastes have expanded over the years to also cover soul, jazz, country, rap, blues, reggae and a few other genres. For example, while in Florida this most recent Passover, I went to a flea market. It's not as trashy as you would think. It's all indoors and very clean and the "stands" are permanent mini-stores. Anyway, I bought CD's by Aerosmith, James Brown, Eminem and George Strait.

The other day, a blogger whose site I frequent put together the set list for the mix of his life. He chose one top 40 song from each year of his life. As with any good mix, he didn't repeat any artists. Mrs. AP has mentioned to me that I should start a music oriented meme and I thought that this was a good one. Lest you think of me as some music savant, know that I spent some time last week perusing lists of top 40 songs from each year. The following are not necessarily my 35 favorite songs from my lifetime. In most years, I selected my favorite song. In some, I selected a song that just jumped out at me. If I were to do this list again tomorrow, there may very well be some changes. In any case, feel free to comment or make your own list.

1970- "Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours" by Stevie Wonder
1971- "Layla" by Derek and the Dominoes
1972- "Tumbling Dice" by the Rolling Stones
1973- "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
1974- "The Entertainer" by Billy Joel
1975- "Born To Run" by Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band
1976- "Night Moves" by Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band
1977- "Brick House" by the Commodores
1978- "Who Are You" by the Who
1979- "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers
1980- "Brass In Pocket" by the Pretenders
1981- "Starting Over" by John Lennon
1982- "Centerfold" by the J. Geils Band
1983- "Little Red Corvette" by Prince
1984- "Missing You" by John Waite
1985- "Easy Lover" by Phil Collins and Philip Bailey
1986- "Something About You" by Level 42
1987- "Keep Your Hands to Yourself" by the Georgia Satellites
1988- "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns 'N' Roses
1989- "Love Shack" by the B-52's
1990- "Nothing Compares To You" by Sinead O'Connor
1991- "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak
1992- "Mysterious Ways" by U2
1993- "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M.
1994- "Mr. Jones" by Counting Crows
1995- "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette
1996- "Santa Monica" by Everclear
1997- "Everyday Is A Winding Road" by Sheryl Crow
1998- "Jump Jive An' Wail" by the Brian Setzer Orchestra
1999- "All Star" by Smashmouth
2000- "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down
2001- "Drops of Jupiter" by Train
2002- "Lose Yourself" by Eminem
2003- "It's Five O'Clock Somewhere" by Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffett
2004- "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet
2005- "Beverly Hills" by Weezer

Damn You White Chicks

For nearly seven years, I have had the privilege of belonging to an august, exclusive organization, the MNFBBQ. It originally started as a group of like-minded men getting together every fourth Monday night to enjoy athletic competition, flame grilled delicacies and good company. After a few months, we decided during months in which the athletic competitions were not being fared to enjoy cinematic classics instead. While there have been a few bumps in the road along the way , like a certain lovable dog eating hot dog buns just minutes before start time, a DVD that skipped, a missing waitress, absenteeism made worse by whining, stale buns and that dark period to which we refer as the Noam Era. Over all though, things have gone pretty smoothly. We even started giving back to the community.

This morning, the sky is gray, both literally and in the world of MNFBBQ. One of our members showed "White Chicks" last night. I wouldn't go so far as to say it was the worst movie ever, but it was by far the worst we have seen in the MNFBBQ's great history. It was worse than "Zoolander", which I still maintain is a classic. It was even worse than "Rat Race". For a way-too detailed analysis about why "White Chicks" was so bad, check out Noah Daddy.

The only bright spot is that I host next time and the bar has been set so low for whatever I movie I choose to show. Does anyone have a copy of "Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain" that I can borrow in a month or so?

The Great Chocolate Chip Mystery

On the Tuesday afternoon before this past Passover, I was getting ready to leave for Florida that night. It was pretty hectic since I had a few hours to get the dogs to their respective temporary homes, clean the house as immaculately as possible in case any prospective buyers came to see the house while we were away and pack before catching my flight. Lesley was in Las Vegas for a trade show and would meet me in Florida the next morning, so the dog moving and cleaning fell to me. During the afternoon, a Federal Express delivery man delivered a box to the house. The box was around the size of two shoe boxes and was addressed to Lesley's chocolate printing business but at our house rather than her office. I thought the delivery was suspicious since there was no sender information and Lesley moved her business from the house last summer. I was too busy to think about it though, so I just put the box in a corner.

This past Friday, as Lesley and I were unloading groceries and unpacking from our trip, I saw the box in the corner and mentioned it to her. She opened it to find nothing but chocolate chips. There was no paperwork or anything else in the box. We were very puzzled. I went on the FedEx website and entered the tracking number. The only information I got was that the box started it's journey to us at a FedEx station somewhere in New Jersey. Lesley then called FedEx, which told her that the sender was "FedEx Ground." They had no further information for her.

So, we have sitting in our house a few pounds of chocolate chips from an origin unknown and with no indication of being kosher. Unless we can unlock this mystery, the box and its contents will be at our curb with the garbage this coming Wednesday morning.

Who Is She?

This morning, the Durham County District Attorney unsealed rape and kidnapping indictments against two Duke University lacrosse players, who promptly surrendered themselves. As with every single other high profile rape case, the general public has already come to know the defendants' names and faces while having no idea who the accuser is, pursuant to a policy that every media outlet follows, sometimes due to various state laws.

I find this rule to be very disturbing. The media has a constitutional right to cover and report on court proceedings and we should all be glad they exercise that right. If there is at least a finding of probable cause that a defendant committed the crime in question, whether by a judge or grand jury, the media should report the story if it is newsworthy. They should at the same time report the name of the accuser.

I don't write this with the chauvinistic attitude that men have the right to rape a woman with impunity. If a man rapes a woman, he should face severe punishment. As a former criminal defense attorney, I will freely admit that well over ninety percent of criminal defendants are guilty as charged. At the same time, each and every defendant has the right to presumption of innocence until a jury makes a finding of guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. In other words, the two Duke students, while certainly not choirboys, have the legal status of innocents, at least as far as this case goes. From what I have seen from news reports and from my experience, I would bet on them both walking with acquittals. That, of course, is subject to hearing more of the evidence.

When this case is over, even if the defendants walk, the stigma of a rape charge will follow them forever. It is much like Richard Jewell, who was the original suspect in the 1996 Olympics bombing when he was actually helping the victims. To this day, Jewell is still known as the guy who was accused of the bombing. The fact that the police never charged him is only an afterthought to most people.

Meanwhile, the accuser has the benefit of public anonymity. If the trial results in an acquittal, nobody will be the wiser as to who she was. She can proceed with the rest of her life.

Some might say that being a rape accuser is no fun and she has nothing to gain by going through such an ordeal. People said the same thing about Tawana Brawley, who accused New York assistant district attorney Steven Pagones and some police officers of rape in 1987. Al Sharpton immediately got on his soapbox and started a crusade againt Pagones. After a grand jury refused to indict Pagones because it found that Brawley was lying, Pagones obtained a $345,000 judgment against Sharpton for defamation, in 1998. That judgment remains unpaid. The last I saw or heard of Sharpton was...yesterday. He was standing on a podium and nodding along with Jesse Jackson, who was pledging to pay the Duke accuser's college tuition.

All Hail Dougie

We've been in Miami Beach for Passover since last week. It's been a good time so far, enjoying the sun and spending time with friends and family. That even includes my great aunt who, for as long as I can remember, likes to mention whenever she sees me every two or three years, that she gave me a bath when I was a year old while on a family vacation in Israel. As of now, she has mentioned it at least four times. It makes me wonder what happened that made it so memorable.

Much more important though is the meal we had tonight. As you can guess from the logo at the beginning of this post, it was at Dougie's on 41st Street, from which I already had wings for lunch last Wednesday. Suffice to say that it was one awesome meal- blooming onion, sweet potato fries and the hot open roast beef platter, which came with fries. My favorite from Dougie's is usually the monster burger, but I shied away from it since there would be no bun to actually make it a burger. In the end, I was quite full and thinking that I should exercise some restraint and not finish the last few fries. That plan fell apart when Dougie himself stopped at our table and told me to finish my fries. I had no choice but to comply.

Have You Heard About The Lonesome Loser?

As I just caught the end of the Pistons blowing out the Pacers and now watch the Tigers tied in the fourth inning in their sixth game of the season, having won the previous five, I have to wonder what Lions president Matt Millen must be thinking right now.

The Pistons are about to close the regular season with the best record in the NBA. The starting lineup carries itself, both on the court and in the locker room, as if there is no doubt they will not stop until they reclaim the championship. Recently, bench players Antonio McDyess, Tony Delk, Dale Davis and Lindsey Hunter have been providing valuable minutes, thereby alleving fears that the starters would lose a step or two by the time June comes. There is also no fear that this is the last hurrah. The starters are all 31 years old or younger and none seems to have any inclination to leave. Veteran ex-Pistons like Jerry Stackhouse have openly talked about how nice it would be to return here as a reserve just so they can be part of winning a championship.

The Red Wings didn't miss a beat in adjusting to the new NHL collective bargaining agreement, which brought with it new rules and personnel shuffling. They are close to winning the Presidents Cup for the league's best record and have already clinched their fifteenth consecutive winning season. They have done so rather quietly, probably because anything less than second in the conference would be seen as a major disappointment. While certain key players, like Steve Yzerman, Brendan Shanahan and Nicklas Lidstrom, are nearing the ends of their careers, they are still bringing their A games while mentoring future leaders like Pavel Datsyuk, Henrik Zetterberg and Jason Williams.

Now the Tigers are finally recapturing at least some hope from the faithful. I don't think there is a Tigers fan, including yours truly, who expects the team to be more than a playoff longshot. The season, after all, is only five and a half games old, with 156 left after today. Even so, the hope for this team extends beyond this season. They have four pitchers, Jeremy Bonderman, Jordan Tata, Justin Verlander and Joel Zumaya, who all have great long term potential. All four have been showing great stuff and are 24 years old or younger. The team also has some great talent, most of it young, on offense. I'm not seeing shades of 1984 just yet, more like 1981. In any case, bless you boys.

That brings us to Millen. The Lions have picked in the top ten in the draft each of the last four years. They'll pick at number nine later this month. With all that access to talent and a checkbook to acquire veteran free agents, Millen has the team no closer to a winning record than they were when he arrived in town in 2001. He may be a nice guy and may honestly believe that he is doing what is best for the team. But he cannot have his head that high in the clouds that he doesn't feel pretty lonesome in the Detroit sports world.

Not Too Soon

There seems to be some controversy as to whether it's too soon for "United 93", a movie about Flight 93. For those not familiar or who don't remember, that was the fourth flight on 9/11, the one where brave passengers overtook their hijackers and brought their flight down in a Pennsylvania field rather than its intended target, which was likely the White House.

Having just seen the trailer, I have to say that it's time for this film. September 11, 2001, was arguably the worst day in this nation's history. We need to remember what happened on that day. The first bright spot that came from that terrible day was Todd Beamer and his fellow passengers fighting back on behalf of civilization. We need to remember the day's heroes as well as its villains.

If I had a family member who played a part in taking down Flight 93, I would be as proud as anything and would want someone to memorialize them in a tasteful manner. In fact, each and every family of the Flight 93 approved of "United 93", which does not have any stars or over the top special effects.

I understand that there are those people who will not be able to stomach the film, much the same way people cannot watch "Schindler's List" because of their sensitivities. I, though, have every intention of seeing it.

Class Acts

Members of our military demand our utmost respect. They voluntarily enlist to defend with their very lives our country and its freedoms. Many in the military could earn more money at much less risk to themselves but serve our country because they believe that our nation requires protection. At no time do they do deserve more respect than after they have made the greatest sacrifice, with their very lives.

It is with this in mind that I find the Westboro Baptist Church to have the most vile collection of people in recent memory. The church has decided that it needs to protest against the evils of homosexuality in this country. The venues the church has chosen for its protests are military funerals. To give you an idea of their ideology and the noxious way in which they communicate their protests, here are some pictures from their recent protests as well as one of their publications:







Whatever you think about the war in Iraq, there is no excuse for what these people are doing. The one bright spot in all of this is how it has rallied a group called the Patriot Guard. They are a group of motorcycle riders who counter-protest when the Westboro scum come to a military funeral. The Patriots attend not to add any more noise to the funeral. They instead act as barriers so the grieving families don't need to see the protesters. Here is their mission statement:

The Patriot Guard Riders is a diverse amalgamation of riders from across the nation. We have one thing in common besides motorcycles. We have an unwavering respect for those who risk their very lives for AmericaÂ’s freedom and security. If you share this respect, please join us.

We donÂ’t care what you ride, what your political views are, or whether youÂ’re a "hawk" or a "dove". It is not a requirement that you be a veteran. It doesn't matter where youÂ’re from or what your income is. You donÂ’t even have to ride. The only prerequisite is Respect.

Our main mission is to attend the funeral services of fallen American heroes as invited guests of the family. Each mission we undertake has two basic objectives.

1. Show our sincere respect for our fallen heroes, their families, and their communities.

2. Shield the mourning family and friends from interruptions created by any protestor or group of protestors.

We accomplish the latter through strictly legal and non-violent means.

Due to the great media coverage they have been receiving, their website is moving at a slow crawl. As soon as I can, I plan to thank these great Americans. I hope you will do the same.

Do You Believe In Unlikelihoods?!

Since I was a kid, I have watched the NCAA tournament, thinking it to be one of, if not the, greatest sports tournament around. It allows 64 teams to enter the Dance with the dream of becoming champions. Every team brings with it a following that pro sports match just cannot match. "Lose and go home" brings an added edge to each and every game.

There have been so many great moments. For me, it all started with 1979, Michigan State versus Indiana State, Magic versus Bird. That was the first basketball I could remember watching. I remember that there was something historic about it but didn't appreciate the importance at the tender age of eight. Since then, I have seen so many other great NCAA tournament moments and personalities, like, Jimmy V, Keith Smart, Danny Manning, Bryce Drew and Serge Zwikker. Okay, Zwikker never had any great tournament moments, but I just love his name, for obvious reasons.

Today George Mason University gave us another great tournament memory by beating the vaunted University of Connecticut Huskies in overtime to reach the Final Four. The Patriots didn't win by default. They beat two of last year's Final Four teams and a number one seed. They won by outplaying and outhustling their opponents. In becoming the first non-major to make the Final Four since the tournament expanded to 64 teams, they provided inspiration to all the underdogs, the teams that aren't supposed to win and the athletes who don't always get the spotlight.

The underdog is part of what makes sports so fascinating. Granted, I would not complain if the Pistons or Red Wings won a few championships in a row. I would be even more ecstatic if the Tigers or Lions would win a few regular season games in a row. While the Red Wings and Pistons' dominance might make us Detroiters happy, it wouldn't be good for the sport. Fans want to see someone new win every so often. It's why some of the most popular sports movies of all time, like "Hoosiers" and "Rudy", are about the little guy who breaks into the big time.

I'm rooting for George Mason University for two other reasons. First, the school has the name of the "24" character who valiantly died taking down a plane carrying a nuclear bomb in the desert so nobody else would die.

Second, the United States Supreme Court just decided that it was constitutional for the federal government to withhold aid to schools that forbid military recruiters from campus. Professors from various law schools filed a brief arguing against the law. Only one school, George Mason University, home of the aptly named Patriots, filed a brief supporting the federal government.

My Own 'Roid Rage

I just have to imagine that Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig begins and ends every day with a prayer that whichever deity to which he prays somehow intervenes in Barry Bonds's path to breaking Hank Aaron's career home run record. Baseball has always prided itself as the game of tradition and fundamentals and hard work and everything that makes this country great. Bonds is not the man to hold one of the sport's most sacred records.

From a PR perspective, there couldn't be anyone worse than Bonds to break this record. Hank Aaron earned the record with dignity in the face of violent and hateful racism. He has since maintained his stature as one of the game's elder statesmen. The best that you can say about Bonds is that he is a selfish jerk.

If the recently released book "Game of Shadows" (an excerpt of which appeared in a recent Sports Illustrated and which has been further discussed and dissected publicly) is to be believed (it seems to be pretty well sourced by its authors, respected journalists), Bonds has cheated his way from being a good player to a dominant one. Some might argue that baseball had no rules in place against steroids use, so who Bonds is not at fault for exploiting the situation. That's nonsense. While MLB may not have banned the steroids that Bonds allegedly used, the law has. If the steroids were illegal to knowingly use, which they were, then they should not be the vehicle by which Bonds puts his name in the record books.

Yad Vashem

On Monday, Lesley and I toured Yad Vashem, the Holocaust museum in Jerusalem. We had both been there a few times in the past, but we had heard awesome (I use that word in its original, literal meaning and not the common surfer sense) things about it. Also, it was the day of the Fast of Esther, on which we were remembering how madman Haman tried to destroy the Jewish people.

The only suggestion that I have for touring Yad Vashem is to do so with a guide. There is so much, both informational and emotional, to digest that you need someone to point out and explain the highlights, for lack of a better word.

Yad Vashem is undoubtedly a place that I would encourage every person of every religion to visit, not just once in a lifetime but with some frequency. In addition to educating its visitors on everything that we should all know about history's worst crime against humanity, it shows the faces of both the victims and the killers. As I looked into the photographed faces of some of the murdered or viewed their belongings, all I could think was that these were people, just like you and me.

At the same time, I also found it necessary to look in the eyes of the Hitler and his Nazis to see how they were people too. No, I am not some bleeding heart who believes that it is necessary to "understand why they hate us" or cut a sadist, whether he killed one person or millions, any slack because he was the victim of physical or sexual abuse as a child or what not. I am saying that, like their victims, the Nazis were also people who, had I lived in another time and place, may have been my neighbors and friends.

Did I Miss Anything?

As a news junky, the only negative of our recent Israel trip was lack of news. The only English language channel in the two hotels in which we stayed was CNN International or Europe or whatever. I didn't see one newspaper and spent no more than fifteen minutes on the computer the whole time, mostly just to check e-mail. As far as I know, the only thing that happened while we were away was that Slobodan Milosevic, Kirby Puckett and Dana Reeve died.

Blogging From Lod

Our flight home isn't due to leave for another two hours or so, Lesley is shopping and we got a wireless signal. I figured I would use the time to share some thoughts, memories and observations from a great vacation that is sadly coming to an end.

Our trip started in an exhausted state. Our niece's bat mitzvah party was the night before we left. By the time we left the synagogue where the party, which, by the way, was great, and did some last minute shopping at Meijer (funny enough, I wasn't the only customer there at 2:30 in the morning in a suit and tie) and got home, we had two hours to pack before leaving for the airport. Needless to say, we didn't get any sleep that night. The travel itself was uneventful, although it effectively meant a second consecutive night of no or little sleep.

In Tzfat we managed to get kicked out of a store. It was one of those places that sells random Judaica stuff. I tried on a kippah. Just after Lesley told me it looked "too Tzfat-ish" and I returned the kippah to its stack, the proprietor brusquely handed me my bag of stuff I had bought elsewhere and said, "Now go" in that stereotypical rude sounding Israeli way. In our defense, the Artist Formerly Known As Robbie told us later that the owner in question is not very stable. Also in our defense, this was the first time either of us had ever been ejected from a store.

Later in the trip marked my second career ejection from a cab. As we crammed into the back seat with a lot of merchandise from Machaneh Yehudah, I asked the driver if he could move up the passenger seat, behind which I was sitting. He said it was broken. I then asked him to start the meter since Israeli cab drivers are infamous for not using the meter and then demanding an outrageous fee. The driver told me the meter was broken. When I responded by asking if everything in the cab was broken, he stopped the car in the middle of traffic and yelled at us to get out. At least we saved ourselves the fee for the twenty feet we had traveled. By the way, my first career cab ejection was totally not my fault.

Last night, Lesley and I went to dinner on Ben Yehuda after Megillah reading (we were in Jerusalem so we observed Shushan Purim). I went to use the bathroom and, after waiting five minutes while a waitress yapped away on her cell phone, I gained access and discovered there was no toilet paper. I inconspicuously asked our waitress if there was any toilet paper. She said that someone would get some. Ten minutes later, a waitress walked into the restaurant through the front door with a 24-pack of toilet paper. Only in Israel.

One of the first nights, I jaywalked and a police officer stopped me. Using some quick thinking on my feet, I turned to the officer and said, "Ani iparon." That's a true story and I dare anyone to challenge it.

Actually, I noticed something about jaywalking in the Holy Land. Israelis have a well deserved reputation for not caring much for rules. That's not to say that they break the law any more than citizens of other civilized countries. It's just that they don't seem to have much regard for rules that they think aren't all that necessary. But when it comes to jaywalking, the neon green walking man icon is God.

Okay, the computer battery is losing juice. Until we can recharge, I will say Shalom for now. I will post some more, slightly serious items when I get a chance.

Shepping From 6,000 Miles Away

As I sit in Ben Gurion Airport waiting to go home after a great time in Israel (some details to follow in later posts), I discovered that Air Time posted on his blog our most recent Young Israel Nightly News. For those not familiar, a few years ago, Air created, with some of our help, a program for the woefully misnamed Young Israel of Oak Park Talent Show. It got rave reviews and we ran a few more renditions but haven't done one in a few years.

With this past Tuesday being Air's last Detroit Purim before making aliyah this summer, he got back together for one more round the whole gang, including one cast member who has moved twice, to Florida and then New York. Air pulled out all the stops, including some amazing technical work. Without further ado, here is the latest and greatest edition of the Young Israel Nightly News.

Don't You Forget About Me

For those who didn't know, Lesley and I are leaving for Israel on Sunday. We will spend the first three days in Tel Aviv at a big Federation conference. We will then travel to Tzfat, where we will spend the night with the Artist Formerly Known as Robbie. The rest of the time, including Purim, we will spend in Jerusalem. Lesley is taking her laptop but how much time I will have to post on here is uncertain.

Before we leave, we have our niece's bat mitzvah. She is the oldest of our siblings' children, so this is the first such celebration in either my and Lesley's immediate family since Lesley's bat mitzvah some seventeen years ago. I was not invited to that one, although I should add that we didn't know each other then and I was eighteen years old and would have been arrested for eyeing the bat mitzvah girl, even in Kentucky. Air, before you ask, I have no idea what was on the menu. Anyway, this is a very exciting event for us. Relatives and family friends are already here from other cities and ready to enjoy the festivities. The only damper on the event is that AJ won't be there. Is that enough of a shout out for you?

Being that we have to take family pictures and also do some pre-trip errands before Shabbos, I must run now. Have a good two weeks.

Great Story, Great Commentary

Since Friday I have been meaning to post about the inspiring story of Jason McElwain, the autistic 17 year old who scored twenty points for his high school basketball team in what the coach intended to just be a nice gesture. I was about to write about it tonight until I read Noah Daddy's posting at his blog, Billable Hours Down The Drain. I have nothing to add. Read it.

Mommas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Interns

Regardless of your political bent, you have to laugh at this job posting, especially the part about it being a hands-on experience.