Blogging From Lod

Our flight home isn't due to leave for another two hours or so, Lesley is shopping and we got a wireless signal. I figured I would use the time to share some thoughts, memories and observations from a great vacation that is sadly coming to an end.

Our trip started in an exhausted state. Our niece's bat mitzvah party was the night before we left. By the time we left the synagogue where the party, which, by the way, was great, and did some last minute shopping at Meijer (funny enough, I wasn't the only customer there at 2:30 in the morning in a suit and tie) and got home, we had two hours to pack before leaving for the airport. Needless to say, we didn't get any sleep that night. The travel itself was uneventful, although it effectively meant a second consecutive night of no or little sleep.

In Tzfat we managed to get kicked out of a store. It was one of those places that sells random Judaica stuff. I tried on a kippah. Just after Lesley told me it looked "too Tzfat-ish" and I returned the kippah to its stack, the proprietor brusquely handed me my bag of stuff I had bought elsewhere and said, "Now go" in that stereotypical rude sounding Israeli way. In our defense, the Artist Formerly Known As Robbie told us later that the owner in question is not very stable. Also in our defense, this was the first time either of us had ever been ejected from a store.

Later in the trip marked my second career ejection from a cab. As we crammed into the back seat with a lot of merchandise from Machaneh Yehudah, I asked the driver if he could move up the passenger seat, behind which I was sitting. He said it was broken. I then asked him to start the meter since Israeli cab drivers are infamous for not using the meter and then demanding an outrageous fee. The driver told me the meter was broken. When I responded by asking if everything in the cab was broken, he stopped the car in the middle of traffic and yelled at us to get out. At least we saved ourselves the fee for the twenty feet we had traveled. By the way, my first career cab ejection was totally not my fault.

Last night, Lesley and I went to dinner on Ben Yehuda after Megillah reading (we were in Jerusalem so we observed Shushan Purim). I went to use the bathroom and, after waiting five minutes while a waitress yapped away on her cell phone, I gained access and discovered there was no toilet paper. I inconspicuously asked our waitress if there was any toilet paper. She said that someone would get some. Ten minutes later, a waitress walked into the restaurant through the front door with a 24-pack of toilet paper. Only in Israel.

One of the first nights, I jaywalked and a police officer stopped me. Using some quick thinking on my feet, I turned to the officer and said, "Ani iparon." That's a true story and I dare anyone to challenge it.

Actually, I noticed something about jaywalking in the Holy Land. Israelis have a well deserved reputation for not caring much for rules. That's not to say that they break the law any more than citizens of other civilized countries. It's just that they don't seem to have much regard for rules that they think aren't all that necessary. But when it comes to jaywalking, the neon green walking man icon is God.

Okay, the computer battery is losing juice. Until we can recharge, I will say Shalom for now. I will post some more, slightly serious items when I get a chance.