By The Way, Two People Died

I'm a little behind in my Sports Illustrated reading, so pardon the tardiness of this post. In the issue before the current one, there is an item in the Scorecard section, which contains one-paragraph entries about various activities in the sports world that don't rate a whole article. For example, some of the items in the particular issue's Scorecard are mentions that Peyton Manning missed his first practice in nine years and that Mark Downs Jr., the jerk who paid an eight-year old to bean an autistic kid in a little league game (a story that SI covered more in depth when it happened), got a one to six year sentence. What really caught my attention was the first story:

"Issued By the FAA, an order that small, fixed-wing planes not fly through the East River corridor between the New York City boroughs of Manhattan and Queens, after Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle was killed when his single-engine plane crashed into a high-rise apartment on Oct. 11. Lidle, 34, and his flight instructor, Tyler Stanger, 26, were flying over the river and banking toward Manhattan when the aircraft struck the 30th floor of the building. (Stanger was also killed.)"

I'll be the first to say that, while tragic, this story became as big as it was only because it happened in post-9/11 New York. At the same time, it seems just a tad insensitive to have the story lead be about the FAA ruling and then secondarily about Lidle's death and then, to make matters worse, give Stanger's death only a paranthetical mention.

Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down

Mrs. Zwicker and I saw two movies this weekend, both of which met the expectations we had for them. On Saturday night, we saw The Departed, Martin Scorsese's latest film about mobsters and police officers from the mean streets (no pun intended) of South Boston. If any director knows how to make a movie about cops and criminals, especially criminals, it's Scorsese. With "The Departed," Scorsese does not disappoint.

The movie was promising, given not only its director but also its star-studded cast, including Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Alec Baldwin, Mark Wahlberg and Martin Sheen. Of course, other movies have had casts with major star power but fell far short of the mark. One glaring example is The Score, which was very average despite starring Marlon Brando, Robert DeNiro and Edward Norton, each arguably the best actor of his respective generation. Maybe it's because Scorsese was directing or just because they had a great script, but the cast delivered. While the big three leads deserve their accolades, special props to Baldwin and Wahlberg. The former is an arrogant jerk in real life and is equally convincing and entertaining in that role, even though it's pretty much the only one he ever plays these days.

Last night, we did a cinematic 180 and watched Click. Mrs. Zwicker and I didn't expect much and we again were not surprised or disappointed. We expected a stupid and silly Adam Sandler and that is what we somewhat got. Stupid and silly are not necessarily bad things in a movie and Sandler delivers those better than most.

For those unfamiliar, the movie is about a guy who gets a remote control that is indeed universal. He can control everything around him. The annoying thing about the movie was that Sandler decided to take a light movie and tried to make it deep around two-thirds of the way into it. The movie looked at the effects of Sandler's character abusing the remote control's power to skip past important life events.

Sandler has already shown in "Spanglish" and "Punch Drunk Love" that he can do the dramatic thing. If that's what he wanted to do here, he could have done it and created a movie that actually makes you think. You might laugh at the idea of an Adam Sandler movie making you contemplate serious issues but it would actually not be so novel. After all, movies like Defending Your Life and Groundhog Day are just two examples of movies that are the subject of theology and philosophy courses in universities and religious institutions, despite their starring Albert Brooks and Bill Murray respectively. If Sandler wanted to make that type of movie, he should have gone for it. I for one think that he has the chops to make that leap. Instead, he provided a movie that was neither silly and amusing enough nor serious and thought provoking enough. In the end, the only things we wanted to see on the DVD's extras were how Sandler got to look hilariously obese in one scene or how the famliy dog humped a large stuffed animal in many scenes. Of course, a dog humping a stuffed animal is always entertaining.

Next On Action News, I'm Wanted For Rape

An Abortion Question

With the elections less than two weeks away, the Detroit Free Press has been running a series of profiles on various candidates for statewide office. The profiles include a brief Q & A on major issues. Today's candidate is United States Senator Debbie Stabenow, who is running for reelection against Oakland County Sheriff Michael Bouchard, whose profile will run tomorrow.

On a whole, Stabenow's profile was fairly neutral and the Q & A addressed some of the points that are most important to Michigan voters, like affirmative action, universal health care and illegal immigration. There were no questions on national security or the state economy, but I'll chalk that up to lack of print space. What I cannot excuse though is one question that the Free Press did ask: "Should the U.S. Supreme Court overturn the Roe v. Wade decision and return abortion regulation to each state, effectively making abortion illegal in Michigan?" I don't take issue with a question about the candidate's view on abortion. It's a serious and important issue. Stabenow's answer, that she would oppose such a move, doesn't surprise me. After all, I cannot think of a Democrat with any legislative role that opposes the Roe decision.

I should digress for a second and briefly explain my stance on abortion. As a conservative who believes in smaller government, I certainly have problems with the state interfering with people's activities. I draw the line, however, where those activities harm other people, including the unborn. I also believe strongly in a thing called personal responsibility. I obviously therefore believe that abortion should be available to victims of incest or rape, either the in classic sense or where the perpetrator takes advantage of someone's diminished mental capacity or maturity, as well as in cases where the pregnancy threatens the mother's health.

Anyway, the problem with the Free Press question is its second half. The question doesn't just imply but outright asserts as fact something that may or may not be true. It assumes that Michigan's voters, either directly or through its elected officials, will outlaw abortion if it had a choice. There may be polls of Michigan voters on what they would do in a hypothetical scenario where they have a say in the matter but I would question their reliability. After all, polls on issues, rather than "will you vote for Candidate A or Candidate B?", are inherently subject to the bias of the people writing the question. For example, depending on my bias, I could write the question as "Do you agree that a woman should be free from government intrusion on issues regarding her body, including abortion?" or "Do you believe that a woman should have the unfettered right to kill her unborn baby?" The polls would also be unreliable since they ask about an imaginary event that might or might not happen in an unspecified time period. Lastly, as recent polls on various races across the country as well as the 2004 presidential exit polls illustrate, polls are far from perfect indicators.

Obviously, Michigan's state legislators could vote to outlaw abortion and keep the issue from the voter's hands. That ploy would only work for so long though. After all, each and every legislator would then be on record regarding abortion and have to face his or her constituents, who could then vote to retain that official or give the job to someone else who would vote differently on the issue. Therefore, whether the matter comes to a vote before the voters directly or the state legislature, the voters would have the ultimate say on the issue. Isn't that what democracy is all about?

That, at its heart, is what was and remains disturbing about the Roe decision 33 years after the Supreme Court rendered it. In 1973, abortion was not illegal across the board in every state. Some states were allowing abortion and some were not. Abortion was already an issue of much debate across the country. Every state had their own debates and were deciding among themselves to what degree, if any, abortion should be legal within its borders. Rather than allowing each state to render its own decision via the democratic process though, the Supreme Court mandated a sweeping rule via reasoning that even many liberals find dubious. It is for that reason, more than any other, that I support overturning Roe. Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

Come To My Window

The other day while I was getting home for lunch, a representative of a respected, local window company approached me on my front walk. He said that he was in the neighborhood doing work for a neighbor and wanted to know if we needed any new windows. I knew he was full of it since there was no vehicle with his company's markings anywhere nearby. I don't normally buy into those "as luck has it your neighbor trusts us and just hired us" shtick, but I know of this company and it has a good reputation. As luck actually has it, we do need to replace a window or two in the house, so we arranged for a salesperson to come this morning. He said that he would have someone call me this morning to confirm the time.

Someone from the company called me this morning and we agreed on meeting at noon. I must have mentioned to the guy on the street that I was married because the caller asked if my wife would be there. I said that she is away all week but that she trusts me to handle these decisions, which is true. The caller said that they could not meet without the wife present and that we should reschedule.

The only reason I could surmise for the requirement is the stereotype that women always want to spend more money than men and that the wife's presence would therefore boost their sale. All I can tell you is that the plan backfired for me. We have no plans now of using the company.

Inspiring?

In case you haven't been watching much sports on television lately, something for which there would be no excuse, you have probably seen the new commercial for the Chevrolet Silverado pickup truck. With John Mellencamp's "Our Country" playing, the ad shows various iconic pictures and videos from the past half century or so in American history.

Assuming that the advertisement's intent was to inspire the viewer's patriotism and, by extension, the purchase of an "American" product, some of the images definitely work. (The merits of labeling a vehicle "American" or "foreign" are somewhat dubious these days, but that's another matter.) For example, Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr. definitely hit the mark. On the other hand, seeing the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina hardly evokes fond memories of days past. On Sunday night, when the commercial ran one of many times during game two, we at Casa Zwicker questioned the effectiveness.

Apparently, we were not the only ones, as this Washington Post article illustrates. Relatives of 9/11 victims as well as callers to the NAACP, among others have voiced their displeasure. Chevrolet's spokeswoman explains that the ad's message was that our country has seen rough times but has bounced back. That might be the intent, but that's not what I saw, and I still don't get it. I merely see a slapdash collection of enduring American images without much thought for offending sensibilities or morale. It will be interesting to see if Chevrolet keeps running the commercial, either in its current state or with different images.

Mr. Clean

While many people have been focusing on what may have been on Kenny Rogers's hand during the first of inning of this past Sunday night's game, nobody bothered to investigate what else the Gambler may have been hiding on his person. Through some heavy duty investigation, which even necessitated purchasing fake teeth that I charged to the Underhill account, I discovered that Rogers had the following other foreign objects on him:

-Unsent love notes from Tim McCarver and Joe Buck to Tony LaRussa

-A baby for Madonna

-A Lions victory

-All those gobs of money that Noah Daddy has helped those big, bad insurance companies unjustly deny paying to the honest working man

-Cardinals' fans' outrage over Mark McGwire's use of other mysterious substances

Play Ball

It sure took long enough but the Tigers finally have an opponent for the World Series. When Magglio hit his historic home run on Saturday night and sent the Tigers to their first World Series, I and many other fans didn't really care who would win the NLCS. The Tigers months ago surpassed expectations and qualified this season as a success. Also, there is a strong feeling, not just among Tigers fans but across the baseball world, that the Tigers are not only better than anything the National League could offer but a team of destiny.

My only preference for drawing the Mets rather than the Cardinals was the inevitable and very annoying comparisons to the 1968 World Series. The idea that the Cardinals are looking to avenge that loss is absurd. Not one member of the current St. Louis roster was even alive in 1968. Only two Tigers (and Macabee) were alive for that series. I hardly think that Todd Jones or Kenny Rogers lies awake worrying about defending the 1968 title any more than they anticipate atoning for losing the 1934 World Series to the Gashouse Gang.

Uncertain

I'm looking for input. I am frankly unsure as to how to vote on the pending Michigan Civil Rights Initiative. This uncertainty is somewhat new to me. I consider myself pretty well informed on politics. Some, certainly not Noah Daddy and Macabee, may disagree with me on one or more issues, but I don't think it's for lack of my ignorance of the underlying facts and issues.

The Michigan Civil Rights Initiative is different. You can find the language here. To me, despite the accusations of impropriety in obtaining signatures, it would seem like for me a no-brainer to vote for the proposal. After all, I have long felt that a government entity providing preferences in hiring or accepting for matriculation to someone based on their race, national origin or gender is both wrong and unconstitutional. The fact that opposing groups have resorted to hyperbole, conclusory statements and litigation rather than debating specific problems they have with the initiative only bolsters my thinking. On the other hand, conservatives whose opinions I respect have publicly spoken against the initiative. I can certainly think for myself but I also listen to others and make informed decisions.

My problem is that I frankly don't understand why, as a conservative, I should vote against this initiative other than to just follow some people whose opinions I respect, something that I cannot just bear. I hear, more so from those on the left who have much more of a tendency to favor affirmative action, that the initiative is evil and will lead to unintended consequences. Those are merely conclusory statements. I'm looking for verifiable, specific facts that support or downgrade the initiative's face value. Feel free to chime in and maturely discuss the issue.

It Really Is A Small World After All

This past week, while on our Vegas vacation, I was playing blackjack at Paris. The man sitting next to me was wearing a University of Louisville polo shirt. I asked him if he was from there. He said that he was and I told him that I was just there for the weekend visiting the in-laws. He asked if I was related to Mrs. Zwicker's uncle. I said that I was actually Mrs. Zwicker's father's son-in-law. He then offered his hand to shake and told me that we were cousins. His wife and my father-in-law are first cousins and they were even at our dairy wedding. It's not as cool as Noah Daddy's Bob Evans story, but it was pretty funny nonetheless.

Jewish-Italian Dating

Great prank call here.

Curious Goy

Yesterday, after posting about my recent purchase, I e-mailed Trino asking how he came to own the book. Here is his response:

Thanks. Did you receive it already? Well, I am a goy, but interested in the Jewish religion, which I admire a lot, and I can read a little Hebrew etc. Part of the reason I sold this is I think Ramban is maybe a little deep for a non-Jew, maybe Rashi is OK. Plus my wife doesn't like me buying so many books. I hope you enjoy though, and that it's not a problem my having owned it previously. I'm not sure what the law is on items like that.

Only In America 2006

I recently started learning Shabbat mornings with Gil F., not to be confused with Gil S. O's Fan is not very optimistic the venture will last much beyond the High Holidays, but that's his problem.

Anyway, Gil F. and I are learning from Art Scroll's new version of the Ramban's commentary on the Torah. If the introduction is any indication, it's pretty heavy yet compelling stuff. It will be a while until we finish the first volume but I figured that I will want the rest of the set for our library, so I searched on e-bay for the second volume.

Sure enough, I won an auction for it and paid a total of $20, including shipping, for an item that goes for around $30 in either websites or brick and mortar stores I have visited. The book came in this morning's mail. In addition to being glad to receive my bargain purchase, I was also quite amused that the seller was Trino Carrera of Ogden, Utah. Based on the other items he is selling and the box and shipping label, it was clear that he wasn't some major distributor. It's kind of funny if you ask me.

Funny But Sadly True

Joke, courtesy of Brent the Gentile:

In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who
had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a
long, long time.

So she went to check it out.

She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was!

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to
leave, she approached him for an interview.

"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall
and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for
all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up
in safety and friendship."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a fuckin' wall."

You Like Me, You Really Like Me

The response to my bail request went great. At last count, friends and family donated over $1,300 to bail me out yesterday. Okay, you really don't care much about or for me. You just wanted to help Jerry's Kids. It doesn't really matter much to me so long as the money went to a good cause, which it did. Thanks to all who contributed.

Reporter or Stripper-You Decide

Notwithstanding the title, this video is clean. Just watch until the end.

Call Me Cynical

I just did a double take when I saw this headline: T.O. tried to kill himself. Excuse me for thinking this, especially during the Ten Days of Repentance, but I cannot avoid thinking that this was just one more T.O. publicity stunt. He is a man who constantly craves attention and the money it brings him. Also, Dallas Cowboys consultant Calvin Hill, Grant's father, said that he works with troubles players and never saw any indication that T.O. had any problems.

No Schadenfreude Here

As a born and bred Michigander, even one who didn't attend U of M, it's second nature to root for only bad things to befall just about anyone associated with the Ohio State University football program, Chris Spielman excluded. I am not alone. I cannot think of one person living in this state who isn't still laughing at Maurice Clarett. I must draw the line though at Troy Smith.

You may be wondering what is so wrong in the life of Smith, the Buckeye's starting quarterback, that I will include him in my prayers this coming Monday, the Day of Atonement. Smith is the early consensus pick to win this year's Heisman Trophy. Whichever team has the first pick in the 2007 NFL draft, especially if it needs a quarterback, will take Smith. Millions of dollars in salary and endorsement deals will shower upon this young man. If the team plays in a metropolitan area with a suburb named Troy, that's all the better for marketing possibilities. The only problem in this whole equation is that the team charging its way into this likely scenario is our own Detroit Lions.

Yesterday morning I awoke thinking that the Lions would have a chance against the Green Bay Packers. Even at 0-2 entering the game, the Lions were seven point favorites. I knew however after perusing the Sunday sports section that the Lions had no chance. After all, in a takeoff of a regular Sports Illustrated feature, the Detroit Free Press asked four Lions some questions about their tastes in modern entertainment. Two of the four said that the worst television show was "Seinfeld." That question alone showed that this team is too stupid to win. Yes, the Guarantor was one of the idiots.

What does all of this mean for Smith? If the Lions' recent history of top picks is any indication, Smith will, through no fault of his own, develop terrible work habits, a selfish attitude and an utter apathy for responsibility. Even worse, if the Lions' quarterback history tells us anything, Smith's name will be relegated to the dustbin of history, along with those of Eric Hipple, Jeff Komlo, Chuck Long and Andre Ware.

Troy, if you're reading this, here is some advice: Fake an injury. Don't make it anything serious that pro teams will not want to ever touch you. Just make it something that will prevent you from playing a few games with enough time to show your stuff at season's end so you can still be a first-round pick. I know that it may cost you a few million dollars initially by dropping, but I have no doubt you will make it up in both money and career achievements in the long run. Besides, maybe with you on the sidelines, Coach Tressel will start Justin Zwick.

It's Hard To Be A Saint In The City

I never knew how hard it was to donate. When we moved a few weeks ago, we knew that a couch and the entertainment unit from our old house did not fit the decor of the new house. We figured that we would put them in the basement, along with the old refrigerator that we inherited with the new house and were replacing. Only when we moved into the new house did we discover that the items were too big to make it down the L-shaped staircase to the basement.

For the past few weeks, we have had a heck of time trying to get them out of our house, preferably for the first cash offer or tax-deductible donation receipt that we could get. We are not talking about junk here. Mrs. Zwicker bought the couch a few years ago and it was still in nearly new condition. We bought the entertainment unit at Art Van soon after we married three years ago. It's nothing fancy-schmancy but it's in good shape and is big enough to hold a 36 inch television.

I first posted something on our synagogue's e-mail group in July but got no takers. Then, our friend who got married during Labor Day weekend was going to take the furniture the week of the wedding when she returned to Chicago. She then realized that the cost and time that it would take to transport the stuff to the Windy City would not be worth it. I then tried Craig's List, where I would have taken the first offer I got. I got a few inquiries but nobody even scheduled a time to come look at the stuff.

I then turned to charity. JARC informed me that it no longer accepts furniture donations. Our friend who works at the Salvation Army said that even if his organization would accept them, they don't pick up donations, at least not ones so big. Purple Heart said that its earliest pickup date would be in late October and that I should call back in a few weeks, without any promise that I would get an appointment. I finally came across Furniture Bank of Oakland County, a branch of the United Way that donates furniture to those in need. The person there said that they will come on Tuesday but wasn't sure that they would take the entertainment unit since there is apparently not much need for them among the destitute. I told her that the driver was welcome to take it home with him for all I care.

I've Got Stripes

They're coming to arrest me. Someone has issued a warrant with the local chapter of the Muscular Dystrophy Association to arrest me on September 28. I will be serving time for Jerry's kids and I need your help to reach my bail goal of $1,200. Your donation, which is obviously tax-deductible, will go towards research, health care services and education in muscular dystrophy. I have no idea who issued the warrant nor do I care. It's in good fun and for a great cause. To bail me out, click here.