Liberals Are Anti-Semites

I know, I know, the title of this post really caught your attention. You must be thinking that you are about to read some baseless, heated rhetoric. Hear me out though and you will soon agree with my conclusion, which is utterly logical and empirical. This morning's Detroit Free Press had a little blurb about the upcoming Ann Arbor Folk Festival. In addition to the great and underrated Ben Folds, the lineup has some other noteworthy performers, like Toad the Wet Sprocket, Emmylou Harris and Jill Jack, all of whom Mrs. Zwicker and I would love to see perform.

Alas, being Jewish Sabbath observers, we cannot attend most of the festival because it will be on a Friday and Saturday night. In other words, we are suffering because we are Jews. Who is causing this suffering? Think about it. Ann Arbor, which, in case you couldn't guess on your own from the festival's title, is hosting the musical event. Ann Arbor is also a major hotbed of liberalism. It is therefore quite reasonable to conclude that liberals scheduled the festival. Liberals are therefore causing Jews suffering. Ergo, liberals are anti-Semites. Case closed.

Less Artsy More Fartsy

Some notes from last night's trip to Ann Arbor for the art fairs:

-Even though she sleeps most of the time she's in her stroller, Emma is really a babe magnet. Next year I'll have to leave Mrs. Zwicker at home.

-In a state with an economy as bad as Michigan and competition for the almighty dollar consequently being so tough, nudist colonies should really get better looking spokespeople.

-By placing the booths for the Michigan Atheists and the National Organization for Circumcision Information Resources Center (they're against it) next to each other, the fair organizer did a big favor to the mohel who likes a theological debate but is pressed for time.

-When you run into a casual acquaintance in Ann Arbor of all places and tell him that you and the wife bought his and hers dog collars, it's best to specify that they are for your canines.

-At last year's fair, Mrs. Zwicker and I parked next to a car with a bumper sticker that read: "I'm Wiccan And I Vote." Since then I have wondered if there are any politicians who, before making any decision, says to his or her staff, "Hold on, what's the Wiccan voting bloc's position on this?"