A Jew Walks Into A Bar

I am proud to announce that I passed the Florida bar examination. Getting the news wasn't as memorable as when I learned of passing Michigan over twelve years ago, when I found the important letter in the mailbox and literally opened and read it standing by the curb in the rain. The news also didn't come with as much anxiety since I would still have a job regardless of the results. Even so, it's great news.

The only drawback is that there is no other attorney in Florida who shares my first and last name, thereby preventing me from blaming my indiscretions on someone else.

Pot Meet Kettle, Part Two

If Al Sharpton is good at one thing, besides for his being a shameless huckster in the race business, it's creating sympathy for someone who doesn't otherwise deserve it. When Don Imus' "nappy headed hos" flap first erupted, I didn't really give it much thought. After all, I was never a fan of his. While living in New York, I was partial to Howard Stern. Since returning to Detroit, my morning talk show favorite has been Drew & Mike. Imus just never interested me. He always struck me as angry and mocking. The controversy that he created therefore didn't really concern me too much.

That was before Sharpton once again assumed the position of father confessor for all Americans of color. As I have previously written on the Zlog here, Sharpton repeatedly gets a pass on his own virulent racism. In fact, Sharpton's racist past is much more injurious to others than Imus' recent comment. Sharpton's actions have led to deaths and the irreversible trashing of good people's reputations. On the other hand, I doubt that there were many people who now think any worse of black women in general and Rutgers basketball players in particular than they did before Imus opened his big mouth.

Post-Passover Ramblings

-On the second night of Passover, Mrs. Zwicker and I started counting not just the Omer but also the countdown to the scheduled arrival of Baby Zwicker. While at the in-laws' place this past weekend, we started discussing the custom of expectant fathers opening the Aron Hakodesh in the last month of pregnancy. When Mother-in-law asked for the reason behind the custom and I explained that it's supposed to be an omen for a easy opening through which the baby can exit, her look and reaction-"that's quite the visual"-made us laugh. We quickly moved to a new topic.

(Spoiler alert for the next paragraph)

-While "24" dragged a little after a strong start to the season, the show has definitely gotten its mojo back. On the other hand, I will not be happy if the rest of the season revolves around saving Audrey. I think I speak for most "24" fans when I say that we all knew she was alive but wish otherwise. My theory is that the United States gave Audrey to the Chinese as security and bait for Jack's return once his mission was complete. Now that Jack has secured the remaining missiles, he has to risk returning to a Chinese prison if he wants to rescue Audrey.

-Mrs. Zwicker and I caught "Reign Over Me" over the recent holiday. We gave it all four thumbs up. As I have previously written, Adam Sandler can do drama, although his uncanny resemblance to mid-80's Bob Dylan was a little distracting. I wonder if it was intentional. Anyway, Sandler was great, as was Don Cheadle, which is no surprise.

-It is utterly ridiculous that the Toronto Blue Jays pulled the below ad starring Frank Thomas. Apparently, people thought it promoted child abuse. The ad is simply hilarious. Someone who beats a kid because of this commercial is like, according to Dennis Miller, the teenagers who supposedly committed suicide in the 1980's after listening to heavy metal music. If someone takes his life because of anything Ozzy Osbourne has to say, that person is probably so far over the edge already anyway.

The Awesome Power of MNFBBQ

While NoahDaddy did a pretty good job in summarizing another joyous MNFBBQ meeting, he missed a key component. During our most recent soiree, Gil mentioned that he had a meeting at YIOP that evening at 10:30. You may be asking yourself why any meeting would start so late. Well, there is only answer and it is "MNFBBQ."

A few years ago, when NoahDaddy and I were both on the YIOP executive board, the president told us that he had scheduled a meeting for us for the following Monday night at 9:00. NoahDaddy and I immediately both said that we would not attend because it conflicted with the MNFBBQ and we had our priorities. The president fully understood and never scheduled another Monday night meeting. We knew then just how revered the MNFBBQ was.

No Waitress, however, taught us the other night the level of respect that others understandably have for the MNFBBQ. Here he was, part of a group that was meeting to discuss our rabbi's contract and time was of the essence. Nothing, however, was more essential to No Waitress than attending the MNFBBQ. (My attendance has been far from perfect lately and I therefore give No Waitress extra props for taking his stand.) No Waitress' fellow committee members fully understood and thus agreed to not schedule the meeting until 10:30 at night. As it was, No Waitress was still at Stale Bun's house at 10:40 when his cell phone rang, as always. The caller wanted to know when they could expect No Waitress to attend the meeting.

After we all appreciated yet one more sign of the MNFBBQ's awesomeness, we engaged in a discussion of just how great is the respect we have rightfully earned. We had questions. If an MNFBBQ meeting were to occur on Yom Kippur, would the entire holiday be rescheduled or would there just be an allowance for us to eat that night? Should we now reconsider our longstanding policy of not meeting on Passover since the buns are an essential part of MNFBBQ, except when Blackjack gets to them? Feel free to offer your own questions and comments. While the MNFBBQ's membership is exclusive, we are always open to receiving fan mail.

Amazing Finish

For all the buzz about the NCAA Division I tournament, people forget that there are other college tournaments. Courtesy of DeadSpin comes this finish, from the Division II tournament championship is one of the best ending to any sporting event ever. Enjoy.

High Art

I was shocked and dismayed this morning to read in this story that the Cincinnati Symphony & Pops Orchestra was cancelling an appearance that the Dukes of Hazzard themed program that the television show's stars, John Schneider and Tom Wopat, were to make. The cancellation was because "some in the community found the show racist and offensive." This story strikes a chord with me, not because I have any great affinity towards the show, but because a well-respected artistic institution was going to have a Dukes of Hazzard themed program in the first place. What's next, The Metropolitan Opera doing a Gomer Pyle set?

Stay Classy Zlog Readers

To my legion of fans, I must apologize for my paucity of postings as of late. Before the bar exam, I was just too busy with work and studying to post. I am still quite busy at work (O's fan-ixnay on the ournamenttay) but, more importantly, I just haven't had much to say or share. I hope to rejoin the world of active blogging soon. Meanwhile, enjoy this 1970's commercial for a Cleveland news show. Besides its own entertainment value, it makes me appreciate just how well "Anchorman-The Legend of Ron Burgundy" nailed it.

A Purim Thought

On this day of Purim, when we celebrate the Jewish people's salvation from an enemy that sought to destroy us, an incident that occurred last week has really stuck with me. One of the commandments surrounding this holiday is the requirement to eradicate Amalek. This involves not just physically fighting mortal men who want to end the Jewish people but also battling the evil within us.

Last week, while waiting before one of the sections of the Florida bar examination, I was talking to the young Jewish woman sitting behind me. We were discussing children, her thirteen month old boy and the Baby Zwicker that will arrive shortly and healthy, God willing. The woman, Julie, said that her son has, in her words, the coolest Hebrew name, Zev. Upon my asking, she said that she didn't know his Hebrew middle name. I found her ignorance to be very sad. Julie is not totally assimilated. She is active in her reform temple and is even a Sunday school teacher there. Also, her son is only thirteen months old, barely a year removed from his naming.

In this day and age in the United States, there is not much reason to fear the Jewish people's physical safety. Of the individuals seeking the major party nominations for president next year, there is none whose views on domestic Judaism concern me one way or the other. (Israel, of course, is another story and a post for another day.) What does concern me, and I hardly think I'm alone, about the future of Judaism in this country is the assimilation and ignorance that threaten so many Jews. During yesterday's reading of the commandment to destroy Amalek, I thought of Julie. If she doesn't even know her son's Jewish middle name, what kind of future as a Jew does it promise him? What kind of future awaits so many others?

The war to regain our own people is like many other great conflicts, whether physical or spiritual. While there may be one decisive tipping point in any war, most wars are won and lost through many battles. Some battles are large but most are small and quick. The key is to fight every one of them. In the war against assimilation and ignorance, we must be ever vigilant to show those not as fortunate in Jewish education just how beautiful our religion is. Whether it is inviting someone to a religious event that he or she would not otherwise attend or discussing even a few words of Torah, the opportunities for us to fight this war are endless. It is up to us to seize the opportunities.

Begging For Relevance

One has to wonder what Jesse Jackson thinks of Barack Obama. On the one hand, assuming he really believes in the advancement of black people, Jackson must be ecstatic that Obama has a real chance at a major party's presidential nomination. On the other hand, Jackson must hate that it's Obama and not the good reverend himself in that position. Even more, Obama has gotten where he is without repeatedely playing the race card, much unlike Jackson and Al Sharpton.

Today's Variety online edition (I cannot believe that I am citing the entertainment trade journal for the second day in a row) is reporting that Jackson is planning a conference in April to discuss the supposed dearth of blacks in the movie industry. Jackson's announcement, coming just days before this Sunday's Oscar awards ceremony, is pretty pathetic. For example, Jackson doesn't think it's enough that five of the twenty, or 25%, of actors nominated this year are black and that three of the four winners could very well be black despite the 2000 United States census showing that 12.3% of Americans are black. Jackson also thinks that whites, who constituted 75.1% of the 2000 United States population, are overrepresented in the 69% of roles that he alleges are reserved for white actors. As an aside, I have no idea where Jackson gets that 69% figure or whether there is any such quota for any race in Hollywood.

My question for Jackson is how much will be enough? I am in no way suggesting that any one group should have a maximum quota, or a minimum quota for that matter, whether it's for jobs, education or whatnot. At the same time, this is just one more example of Jackson playing the race card because that's the all he has in his arsenal.

The Threat Of Israel

While I don't take what Variety reports as the gospel on politics, this statement by John Edwards, which he reportedly made at a recent Hollywood gathering, is pretty alarming:

"Perhaps the greatest short-term threat to world peace, Edwards remarked, was the possibility that Israel would bomb Iran's nuclear facilities."

As Jim Geraghty writes over at the Hillary Spot, "Really? Israel is the biggest threat? Not Ahmedinijad? Not al-Qaeda? Not a coup attempt in Pakistan? Not a complete breakdown in Iraq drawing in the Saudis, Turks, and Iranians?"

Yet One More Reason MNFBBQ Is For Men Only

Sorry for the light posting lately but I have the Florida bar exam in two weeks. Studying, along with trying to keep the business running smoothly, really eats into the important things in life. Anyway, I had to post this article that shows that barbecuing is a man's game.

24 Reflecting Reality

I once heard someone joke that not all Jews are dentists but all dentists are Jews. That joke always comes to my mind when I hear Muslim groups complain about their religion's depiction as violent and terroristic. It is therefore refreshing to see this morning's Wall Street Journal carry an opinion piece by Emilio Karim Dabul on the great television show "24."

For those not sadly not familiar, each season of "24" takes place, in 24 one hour episodes, in real time over the course of a single day. The focus of the show is Jack Bauer and the government agency for which he works, the Counter Terrorism Unit. As his agency's name indicates, Bauer fights terrorism. Rather than skirt around the hard reality of who is committing nearly all of the world's terrorist actions, the show's villains have often been Muslim.

Dabul's article takes a stand against Muslims who complain about these depictions:

I am an Arab-American as well as a fan of "24." The two things are not mutually exclusive, despite what the Council on American Islamic Relations (CAIR) and other such groups have to say about this season's opening episodes possibly increasing anti-Muslim and anti-Arab prejudice in American society.
Most of the terrorists represented in "24" through the years have been Arab Muslims. Why? Well, probably because most terrorists today are, in fact, Arab Muslims. As a descendant of Syrian Muslims, I am very well aware that the majority of Muslims world-wide are peaceful, hard working, and law abiding. That still does not change the fact that the greatest terrorist threat to the U.S. today comes not from the ETA, the IRA, etc., but from one group: Islamic terrorists.

And this is what makes "24" a compelling drama every week. Instead of pretending Islamic terrorists don't exist, the show presents frighteningly real worst-case scenarios perpetrated by Osama bin Laden's followers. So CAIR thinks it's over the top for the terrorists in "24" to blow up Los Angeles with a nuke? Please, if bin Laden and his crew had nukes, most of us would be way too dead to argue over such points.

Read the whole thing here.

Kos Readers Down On Hillary

The Daily Kos, one of the most popular liberal blogs, is running a poll asking its readers who is their favorite to be the Democratic Party's 2008 candidate. Here are the current results:

Kucinich
662 votes - 4 %
Obama
3842 votes - 25 %
Gravel
73 votes - 0 %
Richardson
985 votes - 6 %
Clinton
599 votes - 3 %
Clark
2239 votes - 14 %
Biden
89 votes - 0 %
Dodd
72 votes - 0 %
Vilsack
201 votes - 1 %
Edwards
4070 votes - 26 %
Other
1300 votes - 8 %
No Freakin' Clue
1011 votes - 6 %

These results are obviously static, as of this writing. The link to the ever-changing results is here.

It is not so surprising that John Edwards and Barack Obama lead the field. Neither is it surprising that Wesley Clark, he of the recent "New York money people" comment, is running third. The amazing thing here is that Hillary Clinton is in sixth place, trailing Bill Richardson and even Dennis Kucinich.

Having Edwards, Obama, Clark and Richardson lead her in such a poll is one thing. All four are viable, at least in the short term. No matter how unscientific this poll is, this poll's participants choice of Kucinich, the latter of whom has not made any major strides since being a marginal candidate for the 2004 nomination, over Hillary raises a question. Do Hillary's constituents dislike her that much or is the poll just an exercise in wishful thinking?

Spiders On Drugs

Educational to the very end.

Classic Ad

With last night's Super Bowl bereft of any really memorable commercials, let's revisit this classic.

Redemption

It's been a scary few weeks. Following the debacle that was the last meeting of MNFBBQ, the pressure was on me to bring the boys back from the brink. I've been wondering what I could do to return our storied organization back to glory. After many sleepless nights (don't listen to Mrs. Zwicker with that garbage about me being out like a light), an epiphany came to me in the form of a question-what would Brian Boitano do?

Brian Boitano would break out the big Roumanian hot dogs and grill despite the freezing temperatures and falling snow. Brian Boitano would make chili. Brian Boitano would serve pigs in blankets and curly fries. Brian Boitano would lock the dogs away in the guest bedroom, so they wouldn't steal the hot dog buns or bother the guests. Most paramount, Brian Boitano would not show anything resembling "Brokeback Mountain." Brian Boitano would instead show a film featuring roughly drawn cartoon characters and song and dance and dirty words and the first Oscar-nominated performance in MNFBBQ history. Oh, wait a minute, "Brokeback Mountain" got some nods. Forget that Oscar thing, not important. I wouldn't say that it was the greatest MNFBBQ ever. At the same time, our long national nightmare is over. In short, I feel super, thanks for asking. Of course, Gabi hosts next.

I should add that Gabi came to Casa Zwicker after everyone else had left and I had put away the food. He had valiantly tried to make it for at least part of the meeting by charging off the plane and racing, O.J.-like, without the killing of his ex-wife and a Jewish guy, through the airport to get here. Alas, it was not to be. Fortunately, Gabi accepted with grace the fact that his appearing at a host's house after the guests had left and the table was cleared would not count as attendance. Air, I hope you're taking notes.

Shameful

Scott W. Johnson (who writes for the excellent Power Line blog) has an article at the Weekly Standard's website on how Yasser Arafat literally got away with murder, of an American ambassador, with the State Department's knowledge. Through seven different presidential administrations, Republican and Democratic alike, the State Department had abundant evidence of the following:

Twenty years before he joined Bill Clinton and Yitzhak Rabin in Washington for that famous handshake--and proceeded to become Clinton's most frequent foreign guest at the White House--Yasser Arafat planned and directed the murder of an American ambassador and his deputy chief of mission. From the first moment of the deadly operation, which took place in Khartoum on March 1, 1973, the State Department possessed direct evidence of Arafat's responsibility, yet neither the State Department nor any other government agency made public its knowledge. Indeed, as recently as the summer of 2002, the State Department denied that such evidence existed. Across seven administrations, the State Department hewed to silence and denial.

After some exhaustive reporting, Johnson finishes, very aptly, with this:

Speaking in a 2003 interview from the perspective of an average citizen who was also a firsthand witness to a most significant piece of this tortured history, former NSA analyst Welsh may appropriately be given the last word, at least for the moment: "There are limits to which foreign policy issues should require a man to lower himself. Shaking the hand of a murderer of a U.S. ambassador is such a case. Any peace based upon that hand is a delusion."

Click here for the whole story.

Really Wrong Number

When I practiced criminal defense law, there were clients for whom I felt sympathy because their arrests stemmed not from good detective work but from bad luck or karma or whatever you want to call it. I certainly wasn't rooting for people to violate laws with impunity but it just sometimes seemed unfair when a good criminal was caught despite a certain level of professionalism, for lack of a better word.

One such criminal, albeit not a client of mine, who gets some sympathy from me this morning is Marvin Lamar McKiver. According to this story, McKiver, who lives in Bladen County, North Carolina, called someone to arrange a drug deal. Unbeknownst to McKiven, he dialed a wrong number. The person on the other end of the line was the local chief of police. Needless to say, McKiven is now in jail.

Via FARK.

How To Create Blog Traffic

Ken Levine, a baseball announcer who has also worked on various popular television shows over the years as a writer, director and producer, experimented with a unique way to bring traffic to his blog. Check it out here. As his Sitemeter page indicates, his experiment worked. Pretty cool.

Man Of The Year

After facing well deserved ridicule for naming You as Person of the Year, the Time Magazine editorial board can breathe easy for the next eleven months. The identity of the most important person in 2006 has become obvious. No man means more to society than David Rafner.

You may not know his name but you certainly know his accomplishment and how much it means to us all. Rafner, while working for Honeywell in 1985, developed the idea for the DVR, better known as TiVo. As a cousin of mine said two years ago, "There are two people in this world-those who have TiVo and those who should have TiVo."

Never has Rafner's technological brainchild been more valuable than today. After a riveting and literally explosive four-hour debut last week, "24" is back for more, tonight at 9:00. That happens to be the same time that the excellent "Heroes" returns from hiatus. Not being one given to hyperbole, I can honestly say that I cannot remember there ever being two such good shows opposing each other.

Tonight, unless he cancels on me once again, I will be learning with Noah Daddy at 8:00, which means I won't get home until a few minutes after 9:00. In the days of yore, pre-2005, that would mean that Mrs. Zwicker and I would have had to run two different video recorders in order to tape both shows. We would then have to wait until the shows ended to start watching them. Thanks to the great David Rafner though, that won't be necessary. We can start watching one and, by skipping commercials, finish one on time and then watch the other. The only question now is which to watch first.